Sometimes it's best to leave the moral support at home.

I understand Ms. P that you are a delicate, fragile person who needs moral support. That’s perfectly understandable, you’ve had a hard divorce and we want to make this as easy as possible.

But WHY did you have to bring your mother who looks like a reincarnation of Boudicea who has spent the last thousand years of the after life chewing on lemons and sitting her amble buttocks down on thistles and sharp rocks?

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Oh bugger

My hair tie just broke and I have no spare. My hair has gone nova.

I am going to have to work the rest of the day with HAIR!

I fear this may traumatise my clients.

And boss man will not accept 'hair emergency' as a valid reason for needing time off.

Ok... because it apparently is not entirely obvious

I am a guy - male, that is.

Now I must go dress terribly, watch some sport and get drunk to reaffirm my poor tattered masculinity *nurses masculinity*