The Friday five because they made me search for the answers

[sparkindarkness]

Cos I didn't know, and found that worrying...

1. Name five things in your refrigerator.
Hmmm... cheese. More cheese... wow we got a lot of cheese. 6 bottles of various alcohol (oh gods this doesn't look good) vodka jelly, cream, and some errr... blue stuff. *prods blue stuff* Are you supposed to eat it or drink it?

2. Name five things in your freezer.
*opens freezer* wow, must be the first time in a century. Ice. Oooh, lots and LOTS of ice... we need to defrost this thing BADLY. Frozen pizzas. Alcohol ice. A feather duster, for some reason. Aha! Health food, some sprouts.

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.
*opens cupboard* bleach. We've cornered the market in bleach. Handcuffs. A length of hosepipe. A remote controlled car. And a big box of cleaning products (we grab stuff out of it at random, assuming it'll work on the right thing)

4. Name five things around your computer.
Mountains of paper. Three books I'm reading right now (Colour of Magic, Order of the Phoenix, Winter's Heart), a hairbrush, 11 candles and a pentacle.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.
Herbs, lotsa herbs. Some paracetamol. Some lube. A law book I've been looking for for days, that's where the bugger was and enough cotton wool to bury a Scotsman.


I have come to the conclusion that we are BAD at the domestic thing.

Comments

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I haven't the foggiest idea why a duster's in the freezer, but my other half is enthused about the uses you can put an ice-cold tickling device too...

I have a bad and stupid habit - when I have somehting in my hands, and go to a cupbaord to get something out of it, I tend to put what's in my hand in the cupboard without thinking. So, if I had a headache, carried a law book through to the medicine cabinet, and took out the paracetamol, I would probably leave the law book behind without even realising. Drives Rich mad.

No the medicine cabinet is waaaay too small... but it is a good place to keep spare... uh, supplies.

As for the cupboard under the sink... well, I can't deny either of those statements... wait I'm political, maybe my b/f is planning on taking me prisoner? Is it terribly wrong of me not to regard this as a bad thing? - they're not fuzzy handcuffs though.

No there is no excuse for the sink cupboard. We're just weird and put things away anywhere. At random.

[meridae.livejournal.com]

You know, the feather duster might be in the freezer for the same reason that the law book was in the medicine cabinet.Although I kinda favor the theory that it used to be a chicken you were keeping as a political prisoner . . . whatever, you should launch a preemptive strike with the thing - give him a good reason to take you prisoner HEEE!

Extra supplies in the medicine cabinet, huh? funny, I coulda sworn that most medicine cabinets weren't big enough to hold a ten litre bucket either . . .

::runs away giggling::

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Nah, that would have involved me carrying the duster - which implies cleaning. Nah, we are clean, just untidy.

Now that's a plan! En gard you scurvy knave! *waves icy feather duster in a threatening fashion and goes hunting*

Ours can hold a 10 litre bucket... hey! We're nto that bad. I mean would we be mad enough to keep it all in one place? Best to keep little stashes all over the house, convenient no matter where you are.

[meridae.livejournal.com]

You know, the cleaning might be easier to get done if you convince your bf to dress up in a french maids outfit . . . ::heee:: *Then* tickle him with the feather duster.

And you know, I have the most ridiculous image of someone coming to visit you - an elderly reletive perhaps - and they sit on the sofa, only to have a nice stream of lube squirt out from under the cushion. Heh - go check the lids are all on, would you?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

The tickling I'm with, but the maid's outfit is out - revealing clothes are all well and good, but why would I dress him as a woman?

Oh gods... I can just picture that *has a quick whip round to check lids*

[meridae.livejournal.com]

You know, you're right - why on earth *would* you want to dress your boyfriend up as a woman! Damn! Heh . . . guess I suck at thinking like a gay man. (Which raises interesting questions about the realisticness of my fic).

::puts on a policemans uniform and bangs loudly on your front door:: Good morning, sir - I'm from the Lube Police and I'm here to check that all your lubricant is properly capped and secured.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Well you're fic's spot on - I can only assume I don't have the right kind of kinks... now something with brief leather straps with just a little studding... now that's all different and a nice icy feather duster.


Oooh... lube police? Do we get free samples if we pass well? Do we have to test it?

[meridae.livejournal.com]

You do realise that you've just paid me the greatest compliment that one can give to a female slash writer? :;grins happily and encourages your boyfriend to bounce::

Well, you see - being the lube police is a very serious job, and no only will there be a written test featuring long and short answer questions on varieties and types of lube and their appropriate uses (silicone based, water based etc) and method and ease of clean up, but there will be a practical exam where you will be rated on application technique, use of appropriate amount, partner comfort, appropriate choice of lube etc etc. The examination requirments are very stringent and the examiner will have to watch you closely so the correct marks can be awarded. If you pass then you get your sodomy licence and may shag with your boyfriend whenever and wherever you please.

::runs away giggling::

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Really? Then to face this difficult trial I needs must practice and study most diligently.

[phoenix-fawn6.livejournal.com]

*cackles insanely* You two are just too funny. *is sorry she missed this conversation while it was going on*

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hee, we're perverse, kinky and shameless. Yes. Funny. ^_^

[phoenix-fawn6.livejournal.com]

Perverse, kinky, shameless, and funny. That's why I like you. :-)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Heh, thank you. Shame is is just a restriction *tries to fight down Unseelie side*