A Tale of 2 Kitties

As I have said, my brother is still staying with us until the burnt out shell of his former home is returned to a vaguely habitable state. And yes, it is taking waaaay too much time (update on that later)

What is less apparent is that my bother's cat is also staying here. Yes, Mia, the ultra-cute Snow Bengal kitten. Well, not so much kitten any more. She's freaking HUUUGE, but apparently not full grown.

My current cat, Socks, is a much much older dignified, reticent grand-dame crotchety old moggy who is NOT happy with this young pile of energy playing onnher lawn. She alternates between condescending terribly to Mia and trying to eat her eyeballs.



Today's incident is brought to you by Beloved and his horrible Tuna N Sweetcorn (the 'n' is imporant. Just ask Dinner Ladies) sandwich filler. I have never understood his fondness for this muck. You can pay a ridiculous price for what is APPARENTLY Tuna N sweetcorn filler (which tastes nothing like either, but does have a remarkable resemblance in look, smell, and, one would assume, taste to cat vomit) OR you can open a nice, cheap tin of tuna, throw in some sweetcorn, mix with mayonnaise and voila, perfectly acceptable sandwich filling of divine yumminess. His decision to add cheese slices to the mix (the kind of cheese that looks like it has never seen milk and has instead been extruded from a single sheet of polyvinylchloride) does not improve matters.

Beloved: *chews disgusting excuse for a sandwich, really how can he defile bread with that filth?*
Mia: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Oh my god he has foooooooood! *leaps on seat next to him* FOOD FOOD FOOD!
Socks: You are a disgrace to all things feline. *stares hard at Beloved* I demand tribute.
Mia: FOOOOOOOOD! *leaps to back of chair and tries to climb down Beloved's shoulder* FOOD FOOD! Oh my gods I'm STARVING! FEEEEED ME!
Socks: *STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRE*
Mia: FOOOD! Why can't you see me?! *leaps to other side, leaps to floor, runs round Socks (is swatted), runs back to original side* Food! Oh please food food food food food!
Socks: Resistance is futile *STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!*
Mia: FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD!! *JUMPS up onto Beloved trying to land on plate*
Beloved: *desperately tries to juggle lap full of plate, handfull of sandwich and hyperactive cat*
Socks: *STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* I will drill through your skull with my eyes.

Beloved: Argh, ok, have some! *gives in and launches gobbets of sandiwch spread at cats*
Mia: FOOOOOOOOOOOD! *gobble gobble gobble scatter*
Socks: *sniffs* What is this shit? You do not expect me to believe you are actually eating this. Give me the real food, human, I am not so easily fooled *STARE*
Mia: MOOORE food! *attack plate*
Beloved: *desperately scatters more alleged Tuna*
Mia: *runs all over gobbling, missing huge chunks* MORE?!
Beloved: Look, you've missed a bit. You're not having more until you eat that *points*
Mia: *looks at finger* There is no food on that finger? Where's the food?
Socks: *STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRE*
Beloved: LOOOK you stupid cat! *picks up Mia and plonks her down with her head nearly in scattered piece of tuna paste*
Mia: *sniffs* I don't want this bit. I want another bit. Yes, yes I do. *tries to attack plate again*
Socks: *STARE, bloody STARE damn it*
Beloved: Look, you eat Socks'. She doesn't like it *pokes Mia towards Socks*
Socks: HELL NO BIATCH! *swat, hiss, growl, spit* It's MINE!
Beloved: But you don't like it!
Socks: And this matters, why? It's mine. She may not have it.
Beloved: AHA! I've finished the sandwich *drops plate* no more left girls.
Mia: *leaps on plate* CRUMBS! oh my god crumbs! SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOD! CRUMBS CRUMBS CRUMBS!
Socks: DO not lie to me human, you are going to the real food now *stalks Beloved for the next hour*

Oh Livejournal, why do you FAIL so?

Now, then, let's have a gander at the latest Livejournal Fail. Because, really, they always seem to do it wrong, don't they? It's quite impressive.

So, it seems thatnew users on LJ will no longer be able to start a Basic Account (free, minimum features, no adds) instead they will be left with the 2 remaining options of "plus" (massive ad spammage for relatively few features) or "Paid" (paid for, but supposedly no adds, though adds will creep in everywhere). Right, I'm sure there are any amount of FAILS! that can be screamed over LJ's encroaching legion of ad spam defiling every flat surface, but I'm inclined to leave that one as a basic (bad) business decision as opposed to a classic LJ FAIL!

No, there are many other FAIL!s to concentrate on beyond the endless whoredom.

FAIL! 1: How do we know about this? By reading LJ-NEWS? Noooo, word of mouth and a final admission in the COMMENTS of LJ-news. Utter epic FAIL! to not include this most essential of info in the community designed for this very purpose (a community which, we may note, finds time and space to tell us ALLLL about the latest promotional corporate sponsored gifts on a regular basis). Massively changing shit and not letting your users know about it? EPIC CUSTOMER RELATIONS FAIL!

FAIL! 2: Saying that you have updated (read: changed without informing) the FAQ as if this somehow counts as informing users is yet another UTTER FAIL! What, do we have to read the entire FAQ every day to see what you've tinkered with without telling us?

FAIL! 3: And this is an utter FAIL! Saying that the Basic Account has been removed to "simplify" the registration process and make it "easier for new users to understand?" I personally feel insulted that you expect us to swallow that bullshit. In fact, it isn't bullshit. Bullshit is an udnerstatement. It's a GREAT STEAMING ELEPHANT TURD. You are bringing in more adds for more money. Fine. ADMIT it. Do not insult our intelligence in such a pathetic manner.

FAIL! 4: We didn't tell you because this only affects new users, so why should you care? Well, this could be one of 2 fails. See, how can you be so UTTERLY IGNORANT of your user base? How can you not realise that so many current users start new journals? Sometimes multiple new journals. How can you not realise the basic business premise that we spread the word of your product to other potential customers of yours and we don't want to recomment LJ on false grounds? How can you not realise that knowing about trends and major overhauls of a service you are using is something customers need? This is either an incredible IGNORANCE FAIL! or another complete LIE FAIL!

FAIL! 5: Remember that advisory board you set up of people who WEREN'T complete fuckwits to try and save you from yet another PR FAIL!? Well, did you ever consider actually LISTENING to them? Or, hell, I dunno, TELL them what you plan? Having them learn what you've done from rumours? Yes, fail fail fail fail fail FAIL!

FAIL! 6: This is the INTERNET. You CANNOT make changes like this and hope we don't learn about it. For gods' sake LEARN. We WILL find out. We always DO find out. Stop trying to pull this stupid secret shit. It DOESN'T WORK.

Fail! 7: *THIS IS GETTING BRUTAL* yeah, honey, it probably seems that way to you. But, hey, you work for a company that has made it a holy mission to damage its credibility this past year or so. Then you tried to hide a major update from us. THEN you not only tried to deceive us about it, but did so in such a way that not even my insane grandmother would be taken in. Destroyed Trust + Stealth changes + reneged promises + insulting us all? Really, all things considered we've been incredibly polite about this.



*sigh* I just cannot believe the utter CLUELESSNESS it takes to pull this crap over and over again

Oh, and can we have another brief FAIL!

I now have to watch Lj-News, Lj-biz and Lj-policy if I want to have ANY hope of finding out what the latest LJ screw up is. (Anyone got any more to add to that list? I may be missing some). Ye gods, people, isn't this what Lj-news is FOR?! Why should I have to trawl through 3 communities (and night INFINITE comments) to find out what new batshit insanity LJ has committed

And why is it that even though I watch all 3 of these communities I STILL had to learn about this froma link posted on my friendslist?

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONGGGG!