Wallowing in a rut
Jan. 31st, 2007 10:53 pmhmmm, I think I'm stuck in a rut.
That doesn't measn I'm looking at changing thinsg drastically, it's just that everything has become so.. stable.
Work has managed to resolve the crisis (or at least, reached a point where it is no longer MY crisis) and, contrary to all expectation and without tempting fate, has managed not to produce any further crisis. While the work could never be called "routine" it is, at least, normal.
I have developed no new hobbies and am comfortably enjoying myself with sporadic WoW, reading books I have already read several times, watching DVDs that are frankly pure fluff and general lazing. I am not attempting to learn anything new, fix any of the minor niggling problems that exist in life or otherwise attempt anything productive.
Beloved and I are continuing our wonderful life of mutual love, endless joy and much nekkedness, but there's a distinct Roman Summer about it - lazy and decadent and doing lots of old things again because they were so much fun the first time and are still fun now.
I think I'm doing this self-sabotage thing again. I'm happy, I'm comfortable. I'm enjoying life, I'm enjoying the peace - but a large part of my mind (And an increasingly loud part) is screaming that I should be DOING something productive - achieving something
Well damn it brain, my happiness IS achieving something *thwaps brain* What's with all the goal-orientated thinking? Is it a culture thing? A guy thing? and why is beloved blissfully untroubled by it? Grrr, it's like I feel guilty for daring to waste so much time
That doesn't measn I'm looking at changing thinsg drastically, it's just that everything has become so.. stable.
Work has managed to resolve the crisis (or at least, reached a point where it is no longer MY crisis) and, contrary to all expectation and without tempting fate, has managed not to produce any further crisis. While the work could never be called "routine" it is, at least, normal.
I have developed no new hobbies and am comfortably enjoying myself with sporadic WoW, reading books I have already read several times, watching DVDs that are frankly pure fluff and general lazing. I am not attempting to learn anything new, fix any of the minor niggling problems that exist in life or otherwise attempt anything productive.
Beloved and I are continuing our wonderful life of mutual love, endless joy and much nekkedness, but there's a distinct Roman Summer about it - lazy and decadent and doing lots of old things again because they were so much fun the first time and are still fun now.
I think I'm doing this self-sabotage thing again. I'm happy, I'm comfortable. I'm enjoying life, I'm enjoying the peace - but a large part of my mind (And an increasingly loud part) is screaming that I should be DOING something productive - achieving something
Well damn it brain, my happiness IS achieving something *thwaps brain* What's with all the goal-orientated thinking? Is it a culture thing? A guy thing? and why is beloved blissfully untroubled by it? Grrr, it's like I feel guilty for daring to waste so much time