Ok... because it apparently is not entirely obvious

[sparkindarkness]

I am a guy - male, that is.

Now I must go dress terribly, watch some sport and get drunk to reaffirm my poor tattered masculinity *nurses masculinity*

Comments

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

I'll take a wild guess and assume you're referring to the Mother of All Bints mentioned over on c_s. I mean 'mentioned' in the sense of 'bewailing such things exist and expect to be interacted with'.

Just be grateful you're fairly young and British, else you might have worked on my late mother's divorce which went on for nearly a year, generated a stack of documents literally a foot and a half thick (American measurement, like all of my people I'm pants at metric), caused two established divorce lawyers to give up and switch back to criminal law because it was easier than dealing with my mother and was fought over assets totalling less than forty thousand dollars.

She hated men. My sisters and I have no idea how we were conceived, except we think Dad snuck up on Mom while she was sleeping and she didn't notice. I used to think she was allergic to testosterone, but she possessed so much herself I now think she was simply resentful of anyone who had some and wouldn't give it to her.

The only comfort I could give the poor attorneys who were expected to make my father's alleged fortune appear rather like a rabbit out of a hat is that the woman never had an orgasm in her life. I'm pretty sure Mother Bint over there is the same. Maybe she's a psychic vampire, but instead of taking your life essence she just took some of your testosterone.

No matter what, she'll never have a dick. In any way.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Heh, British people work in both Imperial and metric quite randomly. We used to be imperial but slowly but surely we're recognising it as a silly method of measurement and reluctantly shifting to metric. But you will occasionally get silly measurements like "3 metres, 2 inches" while we do the changeover.

*shudder* your mother sounds... classic. There is a reason lawyers are well paid.

Oh gods, I have wonderful mental images of the stealth conception now... with a deamon that steals and devours testosterone.


I think that is mother bint's problem as well - has lived for 50 years without a single orgasm