Today, Sparky is wearing his grumpy face.
Jan. 27th, 2010 01:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessDear Sparky
Check your calendar. Your deadline panic was entirely your own fault, missing a week was silly. Now you have had no sleep and are grumpy.
Dear Secretary
I know my deadline panic was all my own fault. Thank you for telling me. And again. And again. And again. BTW I’m going to ask the nice computer people to electrify your chair for me.
Dear Senior Partner
This client wants me to meet him in LEEDS?! Do they not have lawyers in Leeds? Is there a shortage or something?
Dear Client
It was 2:30 when you asked me to be there for 3:00. Let me check where I left my pocket teleporter
Dear Petrol Station
£1.20 per litre. I’m buying petrol, not cocaine! Never mind nectar points, I want Microsoft stock.
Dear Lorry Drivers on the M62:
Ok, have you been spending your petrol money on narcotics? Why are you blocking ALL three lanes and trundling along at 40 mph?
Dear Roadwork men on the M62
Come back in Summer. I may not be driving here then - and if I am at least you’ll be shirtless and sexy.
Dear Client again
I’m sorry, I think I must be going deaf - and possibly blind. Because you DIDN’T just look at your watch and say i was late, did you? Not since I was there 15 minutes before I said I’d arrive? So you can’t have said that - because that would have been stupid and I would have fed you to the Hounds.
Dear Person trying to be Polite
Yes, it’s customary to thank someone when they are courteous to you on the roads. Yes a light flick will do - no turning on the full beams straight into my eyes was quite unnecessary. I’ll be sure to write “you’re welcome” on my gravestone.
Dear Colleagues mocking my Car.
Yes, I can afford a more expensive than Betsy. Yes, she’s old, very old and not particularly shiny. I can afford a “better” car? Really? Define “better?” Because she gets me legendary fuel efficiency, has a great driving position, is extremely comfortable, very manoeuvrable and, despite being in my possession for 5 years now, has never failed an MOT or needed to spend an hour in the garage (all being well!). Please to be defining what could be better than this?
Dear Beloved
You are not allowed to find any of this funny. You can keep the coffee coming.
Check your calendar. Your deadline panic was entirely your own fault, missing a week was silly. Now you have had no sleep and are grumpy.
Dear Secretary
I know my deadline panic was all my own fault. Thank you for telling me. And again. And again. And again. BTW I’m going to ask the nice computer people to electrify your chair for me.
Dear Senior Partner
This client wants me to meet him in LEEDS?! Do they not have lawyers in Leeds? Is there a shortage or something?
Dear Client
It was 2:30 when you asked me to be there for 3:00. Let me check where I left my pocket teleporter
Dear Petrol Station
£1.20 per litre. I’m buying petrol, not cocaine! Never mind nectar points, I want Microsoft stock.
Dear Lorry Drivers on the M62:
Ok, have you been spending your petrol money on narcotics? Why are you blocking ALL three lanes and trundling along at 40 mph?
Dear Roadwork men on the M62
Come back in Summer. I may not be driving here then - and if I am at least you’ll be shirtless and sexy.
Dear Client again
I’m sorry, I think I must be going deaf - and possibly blind. Because you DIDN’T just look at your watch and say i was late, did you? Not since I was there 15 minutes before I said I’d arrive? So you can’t have said that - because that would have been stupid and I would have fed you to the Hounds.
Dear Person trying to be Polite
Yes, it’s customary to thank someone when they are courteous to you on the roads. Yes a light flick will do - no turning on the full beams straight into my eyes was quite unnecessary. I’ll be sure to write “you’re welcome” on my gravestone.
Dear Colleagues mocking my Car.
Yes, I can afford a more expensive than Betsy. Yes, she’s old, very old and not particularly shiny. I can afford a “better” car? Really? Define “better?” Because she gets me legendary fuel efficiency, has a great driving position, is extremely comfortable, very manoeuvrable and, despite being in my possession for 5 years now, has never failed an MOT or needed to spend an hour in the garage (all being well!). Please to be defining what could be better than this?
Dear Beloved
You are not allowed to find any of this funny. You can keep the coffee coming.