But not all…. are homophobes.

I’ve been musing about a common refrain whenever someone talks about large institutions, parties and organisations that, alas, have some pretty major problems attached. Instantly I hear the counter message “but not all X are like that” “not all X believe that” and even “by saying that, you’re erasing the X believers who don’t think that!”

And I have several points to make on this, yes yes I do.

First of all – there’s an old adage that if it’s not about you don’t make it about you. Well don’t. If someone is talking about the Tories’ gross homophobia and you are the one Tory out there that’s actually pretty ok with gay people and are just hypnotised by Cameron’s hair. Then, well done, someone talking about homophobic Tories probably isn’t talking about you. However, the Tory party/Catholic church/Mormon Church/Anglican church/Republican party/whatever do all have severe homophobia problems. When you pipe up with “but not me!” or “but not all of us!” are you adding something to the issue or distracting from the major problem the organisation has? Are you trying to resolve the problem by speaking up, or trying to deny it, defend it or diminish it? Because, you know, there’s a reason why these organisations are seen as implacably homophobic. That would be because they ARE. Their leadership, their policies, their agendas, their power, their wealth, their influence are all thrown very much behind championing homophobia. To say otherwise is a denial of reality. To try to distract from it is to defend it.

To the next point – even if you don’t share those beliefs, that stance, you can still support it. No, I’m sorry, you are. With money, with votes or with your mere presence, you are supporting them and their bigotry.  Sometimes this is obvious – a vote for the Tories obviously supports the Tories. Money given the church obviously supports the church

Why do people listen to the Pope? I mean, the man is a bigot. He is a truly hateful, vile person. He is up to his neck not only in a sex scandal – but in a scandal that involved the abuse of children. He has all the moral authority of a drug dealer with blood stained hands. But he is still listened to. He is still covered by the media and he is still revered. Why?

Because there are a billion Catholics in the world. Simple as.

This old bigot is given a voice because he is the head of an organisation that claims a billion people as members. By their presence and affiliation, that billion people empower the pope and his organisation – and his bigotry.

I’m not saying that all Catholics (or other religious org members or political party members) should instantly leave or they are terrible terrible bigots nor does it mean that being a member of these orgs makes them a bigot. But it DOES mean you are supporting and empowering an entity that is bigoted. Even if you are working to change it, even if you don’t agree with it, even if you’re the nicest person in the world – you are empowering bigotry.

And that must be hard to face, I know it must – but it’s simple truth. And by all means say “I know the church/party is homophobic and that by being part of it I increase it’s power – but X is so important that I cannot sever ties.” And I, personally, respect that. Ok, yes, a part of me, quite an angry part of me, is hearing you say “X is more important than treating you like a real person” which I aren’t exactly shiny and jolly about, but I also understand that some issues, some traditions, some cultures and some matters of faith are deeply important to people to such an extent that, yes, it is more important to them. I don’t have to like it, but I can respect that.

I can see that you feel the need to tolerate and even empower homophobia for deep and personal reasons – but don’t deny that that is what you’re doing. Don’t pretend that your personal disapproval of such attitudes in any way counters the real damage your organisation is doing – the damage you are enabling, encouraging and empowering.

And lastly – do not play the token. You know how when someone says something grossly homophobic then always always always turns round with that gay friend who is totally fine with them screaming Leviticus at them while wishing they burn in hell?

Don’t be that friend. Don’t be the gay Tory or the non-homophobic Tory who somehow magically proves that the Tories aren’t homophobic. Don’t be the token member being used to distract from the real problem. Don’t act like your personal opinions somehow overwhelm decades – centuries – of past and present homophobic abuse. Don’t pretend your personal conviction somehow redeems and entire homophobic organisation. Don’t derail, don’t distract and don’t justify and protect homophobes because in many ways that is a greater betrayal of us than being another prejudiced member of a prejudiced organisation.