Honesty is not always the best policy, but it can be amusing

Client's elderly desiccated mother: *staggers into officer grumbling*
Me: How are you today, Mrs. OC (this inevitably leads to a looooong grumble)
OC: *grumpy* Everyone asks me that but no-one cares. No-one would care if I died tomorrow. You don't really care how I am.
Me: Quite correct, Mrs. OC. I don't actually care whether you're fit and healthy or just died yesterday. I was being polite, I'll stop making the effort since it bothers you.


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Senior Partner: What are you doing, Sparky?
Me: Pottering about doing nothing and counting the hours until I can go home without you bitching at me.
SP: What?
Me: Well, you did ask.


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Mad Secretary: C from Xfirm is on the phone
Me: Argh, get rid of him, I don't want to handle that case today
Ms: Ok... c? Sorry, Sparky's too lazy to come to the phone right now and will call you back when his deadlines start stressing him into actually doing something


Y'know, I love working somewhere where everyone has a sense of humour :) (And C wasn't a client, he's a lawyer from another firm who went to uni with me and rocks muchly).