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A run by rant on the word "sorry."
Aug. 3rd, 2006 03:13 pmJust a quickie.
Terry Pratchett covered something like this in the book "The Truth" about people who use the words "no offence meant" as an excuse to not actually take the normal, courteous effort not to cause offence.
I've seen the same thing with the word sorry. I'm amazed how many people seem to think the word somehow means they don't have to try and not inconvenience others. I see it on WoW (I'm not obsessed, not obssessed, not obsessed) with the new Global looking for group channel. People type "sorry to use this chanel, but..." NO BUT! If you were sorry you wouldn't do it!
Sorry is meant for those times when you have no choice/accidently/inadvertently do something wrong - it expresses regret and contrition and indicates that you understand what you did was wrong. It is not a magical talisman that suddenly makes the wrong thing you are doing/about to do right. When people protest at what they are doing, they loudly declare "I said sorry!" and suddenly you're the bad guy for not accepting their "apology."
And that's another related thing - "sorry" does not make everything all right and force us to accept the apology and pretend nothing has happened. We all saw in the news recently the Mel Gibson drink driving/anti-semiticism debacle. Someone has protested we can't call him an anti-semite because he said sorry. Errr, no, he may regret what he said but the fact he apologised doesn't change what he said or what prejudices he holds.
In a way it's like people who call basic politeness "pc-ism" - so decide that they don't have to bother with manners and respect and can wear their prejudice openly and if anyone complains they turn round and complain at the "riduclous pcism." Pcism may have become ridiculous but it is not half so ridiculous as the people being rude, offensive and bigoted and being able to shout down their critics as the ones who are unreasonable.
/end rant
Terry Pratchett covered something like this in the book "The Truth" about people who use the words "no offence meant" as an excuse to not actually take the normal, courteous effort not to cause offence.
I've seen the same thing with the word sorry. I'm amazed how many people seem to think the word somehow means they don't have to try and not inconvenience others. I see it on WoW (I'm not obsessed, not obssessed, not obsessed) with the new Global looking for group channel. People type "sorry to use this chanel, but..." NO BUT! If you were sorry you wouldn't do it!
Sorry is meant for those times when you have no choice/accidently/inadvertently do something wrong - it expresses regret and contrition and indicates that you understand what you did was wrong. It is not a magical talisman that suddenly makes the wrong thing you are doing/about to do right. When people protest at what they are doing, they loudly declare "I said sorry!" and suddenly you're the bad guy for not accepting their "apology."
And that's another related thing - "sorry" does not make everything all right and force us to accept the apology and pretend nothing has happened. We all saw in the news recently the Mel Gibson drink driving/anti-semiticism debacle. Someone has protested we can't call him an anti-semite because he said sorry. Errr, no, he may regret what he said but the fact he apologised doesn't change what he said or what prejudices he holds.
In a way it's like people who call basic politeness "pc-ism" - so decide that they don't have to bother with manners and respect and can wear their prejudice openly and if anyone complains they turn round and complain at the "riduclous pcism." Pcism may have become ridiculous but it is not half so ridiculous as the people being rude, offensive and bigoted and being able to shout down their critics as the ones who are unreasonable.
/end rant