sparkindarkness | Unspeakable Words

It’s been roaming around in my mind for a while every since it was brought to my attention the rather... stupid choice of words an author used to describe the presence of male homosexuality in her story (made doubly so in that one of the communities was one designed for such content). It’s got me musing on the subject of words and labels that should never ever be uttered. My apologies in advance of having to allude to some of these terms (with letters starred) to make it clear what I mean

They’re Just Words!
No, they’re not. They’re vocal avatars of hatred and pain and loss. These words represent centuries of oppression and discrimination and attacks - all of which are STILL HAPPENING. They aren’t just words - they are a message. They are a sign of hate, that society hates you, that you are second class, that you are lesser. Their usage as acceptable language says that the bigotry that has plagued minority groups for generations is acceptable.

Y’know, I’m afraid. I spend a hell of a lot of my life afraid. I’m more open about my sexuality on the net than in real life. I’m afraid to touch Beloved in public - just to hug him or kiss him or hold his hand or just touch him at all. I’m afraid to be frank in case our conversations are overheard. I am afraid because there is a lot of hate out there and that I am still considered lesser by many, even most. And every time I hear one of these words used addressing gay people I get a little more scared, I get a little more tense.

So no, it’s not just words. It’s about the society we live in, it’s about what’s acceptable, it’s about oppressed groups - be it because of race, gender, sexuality or religion - have every damn reason to be scared and insecure, it’s about recognising lines that should never be crossed.

People Who Use These Words
I actually like the various bigots in this world who freely use these disgusting words to refer to different races, religions and sexualities. They’re vile bigots but at least they ADVERTISE the fact. They’re open and proud of their bigotry - which means we can recognise them and treat them accordingly. I always appreciate it when scum identifies itself so everyone can mock it, ignore it or use it as a verbal punching bag.

This does mean that if someone does uses these words they will be treated as a bigot. Unfair? Well, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

PC-ism Gone Mad!!!
Ok, yes, there have been no end of silly silly silly things done by very well meaning people. We can all agree. But, that is NOTHING compared to what the bigots are trying to push back in the name of “combating pcism.” Pcism is, at its root about respect and good manners. YOU may not understand why she prefers to be called Ms. Smith as opposed to Mrs. Smith or Miss. Smith - you don’t NEED to. The mere fact she prefers this form of address means basic respect demands you call her it. YOU may prate that p*ki and ch*nk are “abbreviations” (and if anyone makes that desperate attempt at a defence then they lose every brownie point they ever had because NO-ONE who is even remotely aware believes that) but the fact that the people you are calling that find it offensive should be reason enough not to do it.

If you are offending people, upsetting people, insulting people - then even if you are doing so unintentionally, good manners and basic respect says you should stop - ESPECIALLY if it is so easy to do so. This isn’t pcism. This is common courtesy. If you can’t dredge up enough respect for your fellow human beings to make this tiny, minimal effort, then you’re not much better than the bigots themselves.

They Use It!
Yes, you will hear gay comedians use everything from queer to poof to queen, even f*g. Yes you will hear black musicians use the n-word.

Guess what? A small minority of people from that group using the word doesn’t suddenly mean it is not offensive at all. The various communities debate fiercely on whether those words should ever be used and the majority in each tends to be strongly against and those arguing for tend to be in favour for reasons of “reclaiming” (my next point.) Don’t seize upon one artist’s usage and suddenly decide you can use it or that it’s ok to use it (apart from anything else, swooping in an using the word with this excuse gives the impression you’ve been DYING to use it for SOOOO long and now have the opportunity). Besides, you can have idiot arseholes within the group as well as outside it.

It’s not ok, it’s not alright and the word isn’t cleansed of all it’s negative connotations just because a small number belonging to the group happen to have used it.

Reclaiming the Language
There is a lot of debate behind this and personally I don’t agree with it. Some words aren’t redeemable and shouldn’t be redeemed - we shouldn’t be giving an air of acceptability to them and we shouldn’t be giving the bigots and excuse to use them. These symbols of hate need to die, not be whitewashed.

Still, some people do try to reclaim the language. The key-word here is REclaim. As in, we don’t have it and are trying to claim it from people who use it against us.

So, if you are white, you CANNOT reclaim the n-word. If you are straight, you cannot reclaim the word f*g. These are, for better or worse, ALREADY your words (even though you have the decency not to use them). If the word has not/cannot be used against you then you cannot reclaim it. Just because a homosexual/black person/woman can say X and it not be offensive (or not be AS offensive) doesn’t mean that the same word in your mouth won’t be filthy bigotry.

Unfair? (And, yes, people DO bitch that it’s unfair) Well, deal with it as one of the “unpleasant” side effects of not being a member of that particular oppressed group. Damn, isn’t life awful? No-one appreciates the plight of white heterosexual men any more!

(A side note on this: you can’t reclaim an oppressed group’s insults if you belong to a different oppressed group. Nor does the fact you have faced racism/sexism/homophobia mean you can’t be a bigoted arsehole to another group. Being oppressed doesn‘t give you a free pass to oppress - quite the opposite, you should know better).

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lilisonna.livejournal.com

You know, it took me about 30 seconds to emvowel p*ki. Curious.

That said, go you! This is precisely correct.

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