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sparkindarknessI was reflecting on my past love life the other day (boring client, mind wanders. Plead guilty, the lawyer is having porno thoughts) and came to teh conclusion that after one or two bad (MONUMENTALLY bad) experiences I have no tolerance for high maintenance partners. Every time I was with guy or contemplating guy who seemed to have a double handfull of issues I dropped him/avoided him like the plague. No judgement one way or the other on that one, it just is. (Beloved is wonderfully low maintenance, btw, we both having mastered the art of "i don't know exactly WHY you need that/that is important to you, but I understand that it is and respect that).
It then occurs to me that, with my various irrational squicks, moods, high tension job that can throw my moods out, large drama laden family and general randomness, I may, JUST maaaaay class as a high maintenance partner. So, in true angsty style, I approached beloved with this.
Me: Am I a high maintenance partner? (in the style of all relationship questions, this was asked completely out of the blue and randomly. As you do.)
Beloved: *puts down book.* *pointed look* I'll take "loaded questions" for a 1,000, Bob.
Me: No, really.
Beloved: It's a silly question. If you WERE high maintenance you would go into screaming shitfits if I said you were - I'd say "no"
Me: you'd lie to keep me happy?
Beloved: happy, sad, whatever. Quiet is more the aim at the minute
Me: ha-ha. But really.
Beloved: the fact you're still pushing his after 5 minutes should answer your own question
Hmmm this went on for some time but ended with something like:
I may be high maintenance, but there's no real scale for it. There's some people who don't get any maintenance and some you're willing to break out a shovel for and start clearing out the angst for on a regular basis. Whatever, bottom line is my maintenance requirements do not exceed his maintenance tolerance (his words) and that's all that matters. Besides, what would I do if he said I was high maintenance? Try to change? The Sparky that I am now is the guy he lives with, the guy he loves (squee!) etc, why fix what isn't broken?
I really do love that guy
It then occurs to me that, with my various irrational squicks, moods, high tension job that can throw my moods out, large drama laden family and general randomness, I may, JUST maaaaay class as a high maintenance partner. So, in true angsty style, I approached beloved with this.
Me: Am I a high maintenance partner? (in the style of all relationship questions, this was asked completely out of the blue and randomly. As you do.)
Beloved: *puts down book.* *pointed look* I'll take "loaded questions" for a 1,000, Bob.
Me: No, really.
Beloved: It's a silly question. If you WERE high maintenance you would go into screaming shitfits if I said you were - I'd say "no"
Me: you'd lie to keep me happy?
Beloved: happy, sad, whatever. Quiet is more the aim at the minute
Me: ha-ha. But really.
Beloved: the fact you're still pushing his after 5 minutes should answer your own question
Hmmm this went on for some time but ended with something like:
I may be high maintenance, but there's no real scale for it. There's some people who don't get any maintenance and some you're willing to break out a shovel for and start clearing out the angst for on a regular basis. Whatever, bottom line is my maintenance requirements do not exceed his maintenance tolerance (his words) and that's all that matters. Besides, what would I do if he said I was high maintenance? Try to change? The Sparky that I am now is the guy he lives with, the guy he loves (squee!) etc, why fix what isn't broken?
I really do love that guy
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-19 04:50 pm (UTC)I find you interesting.
Mind if I friend?
Hank
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-20 01:30 pm (UTC)Sure, the more the merrier
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-20 02:05 pm (UTC)Thank you.
*laughs*
Mission accomplished. I can't say that I'm very entertaining, but I certainly look forward to hanging out.
The Hank