Random clubbing note #2
Jan. 11th, 2007 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessMoving to a gay bar after the straight club (because straight friend was a lightweight who went home early, and I like this place)
But there is something that consistantly spoils it
It’s no good. After dozens of unpleasant “conversations” and desperate attempts to be polite I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to deal with guys on the “down low” is just to taser them as soon as they come in range.
In a desperate attempt to keep my wonderful refuge as a wonderful and fun refuge, I offer some advice to prevent painful electrocution:
1) You are here for a quick hook-up. Fine - that doesn’t mean all of us are, there are ways of flirting beyond going up to someone and saying “want to fuck?” Classy. Real classy. And no, i don’t care what the stereotype is, it is actually possible to be gay without being promiscuous. Don’t imply otherwise, it’s insulting.
2) There is no point in repeating “I’m not gay, I’m straight” every 5 seconds. You’re in a gay bar trawling for sex with other men, you’re not convincing anyone and we don’t care anyway. Keep it up and you’re just suggesting there’s something shamefully wrong with the guy you’re trying to pick up.
3) Mentioning your wife and kids to prove your “straightness?” Yeah, that’s impressive. Congrats you’ve just admitted you’re a cheater - but hey, at least you may have convinced someone you’re not gay, right?
4) Saying “I’m not queer, UGH!” or words to that effect - hmm yeah, the door’s over there. News flash, it’s a gay bar, we ARE queer. We come in here to get AWAY from that crap.
5) If a 55 year old, ugly-as-sin sweat factory approached a 25 year old hot girl in a bar, what do you think would happen? Right. Just because your target is a guy doesn’t mean everything else goes out the window - accept no as a no and don’t be surprised if your... excessive optimism leads to rejection. Or, y’know, you could try actually TALKING to someone.
6) Just because your definition of monogamy is rather more flexible than most doesn’t mean all of ours are as well. If someone says they’re involved that’s your cue to BACK OFF. Not keep going and CERTAINLY not cast doubt on the relationship or (and this is my favourite) imply that gay men can’t be/are never faithful (hey, you’re the one screwing around on your wife!)
Special bonus prize for the stupidest comment EVER: “I don’t need a condom, I’m not gay.” Even better when yelled across the bar. Yeah, you think ANYONE is going to go near you after that? I pity the guy’s wife and the disease he’s bound to bring home.
I’m sure there are probably many of these guys who are a lot more pleasant than the ones who ruin our night - but then, I probably wouldn’t recognise them as they’d likely not be waving their wife and kids around as a shield against teh gay
Gah, I think part of the problem is that they have some self-hate/homophobia issues going on and part is they miss the whole “community part” of being gay. Like any sub-culture, you identify and sympathise with your own “people.” And I think people within it tend to be at least polite to each other, especially locally, because if you’re a complete bastard you get ostracised and no-one will play with you. But because they don’t WANT to hang around with a pint or go to the movies or have a fun night out or whatever - they don’t get the social ramifications of their actions.
But there is something that consistantly spoils it
It’s no good. After dozens of unpleasant “conversations” and desperate attempts to be polite I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to deal with guys on the “down low” is just to taser them as soon as they come in range.
In a desperate attempt to keep my wonderful refuge as a wonderful and fun refuge, I offer some advice to prevent painful electrocution:
1) You are here for a quick hook-up. Fine - that doesn’t mean all of us are, there are ways of flirting beyond going up to someone and saying “want to fuck?” Classy. Real classy. And no, i don’t care what the stereotype is, it is actually possible to be gay without being promiscuous. Don’t imply otherwise, it’s insulting.
2) There is no point in repeating “I’m not gay, I’m straight” every 5 seconds. You’re in a gay bar trawling for sex with other men, you’re not convincing anyone and we don’t care anyway. Keep it up and you’re just suggesting there’s something shamefully wrong with the guy you’re trying to pick up.
3) Mentioning your wife and kids to prove your “straightness?” Yeah, that’s impressive. Congrats you’ve just admitted you’re a cheater - but hey, at least you may have convinced someone you’re not gay, right?
4) Saying “I’m not queer, UGH!” or words to that effect - hmm yeah, the door’s over there. News flash, it’s a gay bar, we ARE queer. We come in here to get AWAY from that crap.
5) If a 55 year old, ugly-as-sin sweat factory approached a 25 year old hot girl in a bar, what do you think would happen? Right. Just because your target is a guy doesn’t mean everything else goes out the window - accept no as a no and don’t be surprised if your... excessive optimism leads to rejection. Or, y’know, you could try actually TALKING to someone.
6) Just because your definition of monogamy is rather more flexible than most doesn’t mean all of ours are as well. If someone says they’re involved that’s your cue to BACK OFF. Not keep going and CERTAINLY not cast doubt on the relationship or (and this is my favourite) imply that gay men can’t be/are never faithful (hey, you’re the one screwing around on your wife!)
Special bonus prize for the stupidest comment EVER: “I don’t need a condom, I’m not gay.” Even better when yelled across the bar. Yeah, you think ANYONE is going to go near you after that? I pity the guy’s wife and the disease he’s bound to bring home.
I’m sure there are probably many of these guys who are a lot more pleasant than the ones who ruin our night - but then, I probably wouldn’t recognise them as they’d likely not be waving their wife and kids around as a shield against teh gay
Gah, I think part of the problem is that they have some self-hate/homophobia issues going on and part is they miss the whole “community part” of being gay. Like any sub-culture, you identify and sympathise with your own “people.” And I think people within it tend to be at least polite to each other, especially locally, because if you’re a complete bastard you get ostracised and no-one will play with you. But because they don’t WANT to hang around with a pint or go to the movies or have a fun night out or whatever - they don’t get the social ramifications of their actions.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-11 11:39 pm (UTC)I will now forever seek out occasions to say "so far in the closet they're getting it on with Tumnus" whenever possible!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-14 03:13 pm (UTC)