Remind me again why I have long hair?

[sparkindarkness]

Me: *vaguely manages to insert toothbrush into mouth, morning bleary. Looks up into mirror* ARGH!

Hair: Power to the Follicles!

Me: *reaches desperately for hair brush*

Hair: OPPRESSED! OPPRESSED We’re being oppressed!

Me: *fumbles for conditioning cream*

Hair: ANARCHY! ANARCHY! ANARCHY!

Me: *desperately smears in gel*

Hair: We shall not, we shall not be moved!

Me: *struggles for comb*

Hair: *eats comb* You running dog for the military industrial complex! You can’t keep us down,
fascist pig!

Me: Desperately tries a braid*

Hair: We will not be tamed! We will not be slaves! Kill us, torture us, we will endure! We are
FREE! FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!!

Me: *growl*

Beloved: Wow, bad hair day?

Me: More Anarchist-Revolutionary-hair day. I need a paper bag or a shaver.

Comments

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathy. I've had "eats comb" days.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It is truly evil. Alas poor combs...

[girl-working.livejournal.com]

No matter how much I brush my hair or get my husband to brush it for me (purr) I always always end up with a huge tangle/knot at the nape of my neck. And we have no idea how or why.

We blame the hair fairies... My mum used to ask me if fairies were knitting in my hair again as it got so knotty... I'd cut it short again, but I look crap with short hair... :/

[rampagingturtle.livejournal.com]

Do you by any chance sleep with your hair in a ponytail/braid? My hair always does that when I sleep in a braid. I've learned to sleep in a hair shroud.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

The reason is because hair is jnot a part of us.

That's right, they're a secret parasitic life form looking to destroy our sanity so the mother ship can move in.

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

Aquanet.

It's less water-cannon and more napalm ....

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it is, but napalm is always a solution

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

:)

My husband has hair like that!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It spreads! Curse the evil!

[ladydyani.livejournal.com]

That's hilarious. My hair doesn't eat combs, but it will never flip the right way. It's probably a conspiracy.

[mrmeval.livejournal.com]

Cyanoacrylate is your friend, it'll hold it right where you want it.

"Tolulene, cyanoacrylate, polymers and silicon:
Todays Modern Woman." --mrmeval

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Cyanoacrylate? Super glue?

[mrmeval.livejournal.com]

Yep. The stuff you buy in the store or the surgical kind.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

The evil hair will take over the world!

[klgaffney.livejournal.com]

*glares* *tugs on bangs, which have decided to ignore gravity today*

couldn't you have kept your stupid hair revolution on THAT side of the atlantic?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It is a world wide revolution! Alas, they have overcome me! Flee oh people! The Stylish and well groomed first!

[harald387.livejournal.com]

Clearly, mass executions are in order. How would you look bald?

[kitsuken.livejournal.com]

Perhaps mass execution is a little hasty. I'm sure once the ringleaders were rounded up the others would fall into line. It's just a question of how having a mohawk sounds

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hair: *hides behind vanity shield* Fascists! We are safe behind our stylish shield!

[kitsuken.livejournal.com]

See, they all go behind a stylish shield so they must be behaving again!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Aie! Scary i think. The hair is protected by the invulnerable shield of Vanity. Curse them

[the-yellow-king.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how hard it is to type a comment through the coffee now splattered over my monitor.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

heee :) my work here is done

[soappuppy.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Thank you! I haven't laughed so hard in ages!

!Viva la revolucion!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

lol, thank you.

Don't encourage them! Noooooooo!

[home-of-usher.livejournal.com]

Icon says it all

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

EVIL HAIR! Classic

[only-playing.livejournal.com]

You see, I think my hair is in a Union. Every time I need it to look decent, it decides to go on strike, complete with mini picket signs.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

LOL, can i unionise my hair? Better than my anarchist revolultionary hair

[only-playing.livejournal.com]

Not much better... They keep laying down on the job, and when you need them most, THAT is when they decide to strike for better options, like the most expensive shampoo that you cannot afford. And goodness forbid that you need to make a cut, then they all start revolting.

[stormcat.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest hairsticks, but somehow I don't think you'd be wanting to mix samurai hair with a business suit.

Or would you?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I would. Yes yes I would.

The boss probably wouldn't.

And I've never been able to figure out how to use them

[mrmeval.livejournal.com]

You do what the Russians would do with the peasants. You get out the cavalry (electric sheers) and more the bastards down.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

But the vanity shield is too strong cap'n! We canna break it!