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[personal profile] sparkindarkness
I was thinking back and trying to convert some of my old RP games into fic. SO I was going through my old notes (why, no, I do not throw ANYTHING away. EVER) and realized just how many monumental amusing disasters these games covered. Especially this one, an incident that most amused me from an old Vampire the Masquerade game.

This was not a session that I GMed, it was one that I actually played (shock horror, I rarely get the chance). It will go down in history as the WORST Masquerade cover up EVER!




Some Background:
VtM is based on the modern world with vampires lurking in the shadows. These vampires live in the modern world but must hide from humanity – their most sacred law. This secrecy is known as The Masquerade. The vampires themselves are divided into clans – each having their own powers, weaknesses and raisons d’etre (with extra accents).

My character was a suave, debonair socialite, with extreme political skills, known for his good looks, vast wealth, fine parties, quick wit and expensive contacts. After a political struggle, his sire finally managed to embrace him into the Ventrue clan (rulers and leaders) much to the annoyance of his rival who wished to make him her childe in the Toreador clan (artists and socialites). Unfortunately the pissed off Toreador then went on to become the Prince (supreme ruler of the city). And yes, she was bitter. To gain some allies (and protection) my poor Ventrue teamed up with a morally challenged Nosferatu, a fledgling Lasombra and a mystically inclined Caitiff in the hope of escaping from his would-be-sire’s spite.


Now the actual disaster. My Ventrue, like all members of his clan, can only drink the blood of a select group of humans (they being much more selective and posh than other clans). Draining the blood of any other human makes them violently ill. In his case, he could only feed on the very wealthy (he likes money). Waking hungry he made his merry way to one of the most exclusive hotels in the city. Chatting in the bar with the various pretty rich things he made his way to his prey… {and botched his hunting roll} a gentlemen in an extremely expensive suit wearing a rolex. Dinner is served.

He throws some vampire powers at him and convinces him to join him for some quiet time alone in his hotel room. Alone, at last, he sinks in his fangs into the poor mortal – and falls back, vomiting all his blood while being violently ill. Human is not rich – he just has credit cards! Now driven into a hunger frenzy (hungry vampires go into berserker rages) my Ventrue tore the idiot debtor into little pieces… And then the maid came in pushing a trolley.

She screamed in terror at the body and the blood everywhere, my Ventrue lunges angrily for her {and botches} and ends up falling over the trolley while she runs screaming murder through the hotel. My Ventrue catches her… in the hallway, surrounded by witnesses.


At this point my allies receive a phone call from the local spymaster telling them that I am merrily ripping out the throats of the city’s wealthy elite in full view of witnesses (HUGE masquerade breach) and to get there and sort it NOW or we’re all dead! Dutiful and loyal to the last they hurry to the scene and see people fleeing through the doors to escape my wrath.

Now, it’s worth noting the roles in this little coterie. The Nosferatu is a lethal fighter, the Lasombra a skilled thief and security expert, the Caitiff was an academic with mystical knowledge. My VENTRUE is the social one who can wipe memories and control minds. They have to stop the witnesses without mind control powers. So what do they do? Stand at the exits with pump action shotguns and shoot anyone who tries to leave. Yes, yes they do. The city’s elite are fleeing a blood crazed mad man, running to the street and been mowed down with shotgun fire. *headdesk* On CCTV *Headdesk headdesk headdesk*

The Nosferatu ventures inside and finds me killing hotel security. He realises that I need to feed and feed NOW. But there is a problem – they don’t actually know what my feeding restriction is. *headdesk x10*. I solve this by trying to eat the Nosferatu (Ventrue can feed off any vampire) and drain his blood. The Caitiff has a brain storm! They can use the Nosferatu as a COVERTER! So while I am bighting down on the Nosferatu’s arm, the Catiff and the Lasombra are rounding up the cowering survivors and feeding them to the Nosferatu.

I return to my senses and am duly horrified. We decide it is necessary to cover it up a little better (people have escaped and there are bodies everywhere) so the Nosferatu decides to stage a gas explosion – destroying physical evidence and any CCTV. We retreat to a safe distance to watch.

Did I mention vampires are pathologically afraid of fire and go insane when afraid, running and killing anything in their way? Well they are. The building explodes. Everyone is ok… except my Ventrue {BOTCHES his courage roll} who takes one look and runs SCREAMING through the streets (still covered in blood soaked clothes) and kills 2 policemen on the way.


End result? Dead police (on CCTV). A goodly chunk of the fashionably wealthy now shot to death, blown up or ripped to pieces. The city’s most EXCLUSIVE hotel/restaurant is a smoking hole in the ground, and most of the rest of the city’s glitterati keep talking about blood crazy monsters, psychos and vampires – and they’re too wealthy for the police to write off as cranks. Oh, and my social standing among the movers and shakers plummeted because I ate them. And one of the Prince’s servants while I was at it.

The Prince was not amused.


And that was the worst Masquerade cover up there has ever been. Ever.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 10:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oxfordgirl.livejournal.com
You tried to cover a Masq breach with a GAS LEAK?

*giggle*

That's fantastic :D :D

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Well, it's always been common tactic with us that if the Masquerade is UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY shattered, it's best to destroy everything in a plausible manner then rely on rich, well connected Ventrue to have the police fudge the reports... so it's not toooooo bad. Extreme, yes, but I couldn't think of anything better :)


Oh it was a disaster, yes, it was. The Prince was utterly pissed. If I was GMing it, I may have just had the prince kill us.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
I've always found that when it's completely fucked, the best thing to do is get some credible witnesses to imply some kind of psychedelic introduced into the air/water/whatever system, note that all the witnesses tell different stories (ENFORCING the differences, if necessary), produce a blood-soaked lunatic who had a psychotic break and really did start killing people and drinking their blood when exposed to this psychedelic chemical, and just make sure that anyone who REALLY DOES stick to the "No, real vampires! Tearing limbs off with bare hands! Moving faster than THOUGHT!" line of things gets committed to a nice, quiet asylum somewhere.

And yeah, I probably would have killed you all, too. Sparky, man, those botches and frenzies? That's why they invented Willpower.

(Gerat story)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girl-working.livejournal.com
*coughs* I loved my ravnos... Took the merit that allowed me to get willpower by succeeding in doing something (can't remember what it was...) and took presence & singing skills... Went out & did karoke every night to regain willpower for chimistry...

Pity the GM then dumped us in a post-apocalptic world... Had a fight with a party member who was in hunger frenzy... He took my blood, I went frenzy, he went out, I took his, and so on... Ended up sacrificing my li'l puppy dog to get an action off & chimistried a pool of blood to distract him...

That was a good game... Even if I was the only one in the party who could feed off animals and therefore the rest of the party spent most of the travelling times in torpor...

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
There's one that lets you gain willpower for doing acts of phenomenal difficulty. Karaoke doesn't count.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitsuken.livejournal.com
What about Michael Jackson or Muse and she managed to make the high notes? :p

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
I'm so stingy handing out willpower :)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girl-working.livejournal.com
As I said, can't remember what it was... But GM let it slide...

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Now I loved Ravnos as well. I once GMed a campaign with a Ravnos who was a magician. He drove his ghoul insane, left her in the care of a Tzimisce and she came back with a disturbing grin and a little kitten with super magic powers and a very large double handed axe.

Of course, he was a 7th generation and had Fatuus mastery. Very frightening.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
See, I'm really bad with willpower. I don't use it. I horde it like a miser (and as a GM I am very stingy handing it out) and often forget about it.

See, that's one we like to but we'd already used ACTUAL hallucinogens three times in the chronicle to cover our tracks *groan. Yes, yes we did.* We feared we may have overused it (even if we didn't use it, another story of hallucinogens would have caused trouble, especially since we were beginning to appear on various suspect lists for it). And we couldn't track down all the witnesses (other than fangs I don't think I was TOO vampiric. My Ventrue wasn't known for his supernatural physical abilities other than toughnes - which cause that Nosferatu to use me as a riot shield later on).

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
I still wouldn't have killed the witnesses. I'd have killed *you* (or, rather, driven you into torpor - they've got shotguns, and you're killing the immediate witnesses for them!), produced your "dead body", made up some story about how you'd gone insane, planted evidence that you thought you were a vampire, made clucking noises about how sad it was that violent video games and a lack of moral fiber led you to this pass, and then had you cremated.

I've seen worse coverrups, once or twice. None of them were my fault, for the record.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Now, i may have done that, but I wans't in a position to make the decision (Though I did keep whispering *take me damn it, stake me!*)

But, remember, I was a wealthy, prominant socialite. Killing me would probably have required a lot of covering up

I have seen ONE worse that I GMed. It wasn't my fault but I did collapse laughing half way. And I killed 2 players by execution for it (Gangrel on humanity 1? Baaaad character)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
But, remember, I was a wealthy, prominant socialite. Killing me would probably have required a lot of covering up

What coverrup? Your dead body, riddled with shotgun holes, has been produced. There are hundreds of witnesses to your murderous actions. With a little creativity, they could pin a half-dozen previous unsolved "vampire murders"[1] on you, and enshrine you in London history beside Hawley Crippen, Reg Christie, and Jack The Ripper. The prominent socialite was secretly a serial killer! He looked just liek one of you! The horror!

And then cremate you before you come out of torpor.

This type of solution is one that always drives a certain kind of player/ST nuts - the kind who think that *secrecy* is important, as if signs of a coverrup didn't attract huge, persistent attention. It's not secrecy that matters, it's plausibility. If you go forward with certain "incontrovertible" proof of vampiric existence, my response is not to kill you or make you retract your claim. It's to make Art Bell support you and feature you prominently on his radio program. Get you the front page of the Weekly World News[2]. Make sure that all the people with NO credibility support you, clearly and openly and without reservation.

That alone is enough to ensure that the rest of the world will ignore you, and I can help that along a bit, too.

[1]: Oh, come on, you're telling me that in a Vampire game where PCs exist there are no other unsolved disappearances? Hmm?

[2]: My favourite character ever: Ventrue who owned the WWN. Need soemthing covered up and completely lacking credibility? For the right price, it goes on the front page, beside Bat Boy.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Well yes, but it would have made my future actions as a political mover and shaker somewhat difficult. We went with the "what, you thought it was me? Oh my dear old thing, how could you!? Look me in the eye and tell me you really thought it was me..." :)

And I veto the cremate! YES! YES I DO!!!

Oh yes, one character I had increased the masquerade by funding a conspiracy theory radio station then every time there was a rumour he would report it sensationally... and no-one would believe it. Had a whole string of newspapers to go with it. He had 7 ghouls from Des Moines to act as 'authentic' witnesses :)


There were many unsolved disappearances... but they weren't me :)


LOL< sound slike we had the same character concept! But mine was a Tremere

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitsuken.livejournal.com
Hm, would you mind me borrowing that idea for a character? I've got an irge to start a character who deals in favours amongst vampires, and owning a conspiracy newspaper would be the ideal method of starting it (or he could just take over The Sun, either way anything reported would be automatically discredited :p)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Feel free, we both had similar characters so it's not a unique idea :)


Yup - the SUN. Here si the dire news, but first here are some BIG BREASTS!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitsuken.livejournal.com
"then rely on rich, well connected Ventrue to have the police fudge the reports"

Yes, but in this case the well connected Ventrue was the one who was *in* the police reports. It'd be hard to imagine them saying "Okie dokie, Mr Wanted-mass-murderer, we'll just pretend this neeeever happened 8D"

Then again, you could always blow up the building that contained the police reports and the CCTV footage >:D

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Nah,. i didn't have any connection with the police, not nearly glittery enough.

But we could probably trade favours with other Ventrue OR rely on natureal Ventrue masquerade preservation to cover for us

"Okie dokie, Mr Wanted-mass-murderer, we'll just pretend this neeeever happened 8D"

Did I mention WEALTHY Venture?

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitsuken.livejournal.com
Funnily enough just after posting that an article was posted on the RP forum explaining boons, so I can see how you could get away with it now. When I first posted though I just had this image of your character turning up at a police station with wanted posters of him everywhere and convincing them to drop the case :p

"This isn't the Venture you're looking for" *steals case file* MWAHAHA!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Prestation, ah prestation. We always make a hug ething of prestation in our agmes and our characters keep huge long lists of boons they're owed/owe others. There's wrangling and swappoing boons and hidden boons and trying to pay back boons and MOST important trying to STOP people paying YOU back... and of course your status goes up iuf your OWED a lot even if you don't call them in (and your status goes down if you owe a lot).

Heee, he wasn't that good at Dominate!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kirylyn.livejournal.com
why not? It worked for Buffy :D

tho, after the second botched roll, I would have hurled the dice into the next dimension and used another set!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
heee, everyone would be dead and that's not our problem (low humanity chronicle. Nossie had humanity 1. Don't ask).

Yes, I would ahve cursed my dice but I think someone already did (it was karma for my good luck at the soiree the night before)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
Heh. Humanity 1 is great.

"I'd like to not frenzy and eat that guy. I have Self-control 5!"
"Very well, you get one die. Enjoy!"

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
And he was a Gangrel. Animal feature EVERY TIME HE FRENZIED

EVERY SINGLE TIME

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cadynaisabella.livejournal.com
*laughs HYSTERICALLY*

Sparky, you're a bad man. I'm sitting here, ALONE, at Memorial University and NOW the cleaning people think I'm batshit crazy...

You're my Hero of the Day

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Heee, I like being a bad man :) C an i be a bad hero?

And there's nothing wrong with being batshit crazy - it puts you in good company

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brownkitty.livejournal.com
Man, all you need to make that complete is dawn.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
ye gods, at least we got home before that one

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girl-working.livejournal.com
*lol* I like...

Bad Spark. *sets cats o' doom on Sparky*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Oh it was sooooooooooo not my fault.

Really


I was insane at the time.


Honest

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girl-working.livejournal.com
No, a previous GM was insane when he decided to make me an experiment of a Kiasyd... A lasombra/ventrue cross-clan vampire with 4 in-clan disciplines...

She was a li'l insane & odd and I didn't play her very long...

I have played under some very, very warped & munchkin powergaming GMs... (inc. one who turned my lvl 2 elven druid into a were-cat to fudge his mistake... And another I'm going out with who admits he's a munchkin...)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 01:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
I've had a Kisayd before (Lasombra/Fae Sabbat) At least they were in 3rd ed. They had Obetenbration, Dominmate and Mycentheria (their own discipline involving a lot of Fae powers). Their clan weakness was a weakness to iron. They tended to be scholars.

Why yes, I can read things once and remember them years afterwards :)

Power gaming? Icky, but better if teh GM does it than the players

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 01:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girl-working.livejournal.com
Gah........ Evil! I couldn't remember their name or the discipline...

*whimpers* Still missing 4 books from my Changeling collection... inc. one that'll never be published... :(

(Why, yes, I like the Fae...)

No one would let me play one... :(

And I have skimmed the new rules for VtR... Just seems like they've kept just enough from VtM for me to get UTTERLY confused over rule/discipline/clan changes, and thrown just enough for me to be confused over the new setting... Gah... But that's an entirely different rant...

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Fae the dreasming was fun. I hve the dark ages version as well which is really really fun.


Meh, I'm not too happy with the new one. I have a library of books for the old one, I'm not ready to let go

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitsuken.livejournal.com
I just started an online RP for V:tM, and I can't stop laughing at what happened here. Hope something like this happens to me just so I can see if I can be... "imaginative" with the covering up afterwards. You got any more stories like these? I'm sure plenty of people would love to hear them :p

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 12:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Plenty. I have Gmed dozens of chronicles and even played a few. They're all a little crazy

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thestormcellar.livejournal.com
OMG! BRILLIANT!!!! LOL!!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-01 02:31 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-02 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] only-playing.livejournal.com
What fun. I tend to be mroe of a D&D geek, but I have enough friends who play vamp to know that it was uber-bad trouble.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-03 10:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
DND's fun, but I tend to be a white wolf junkie at heart

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-03 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] only-playing.livejournal.com
Damn white wolf geeks....^_^ But, in the words of one of my favorite authors, when it comes to vampires "Damn your lives. Steal all the pretty women, then come back and steal their daughters."

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