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There are many things happening on and around this day to try and fight against the evil that is homophobia and transphobia. Their site has a long list of excellent sources.

What I ask on this day is for people to stop. Simply stop.


Stop engaging in homophobia and transphobia

Stop heterosexism and cisexism.

Stop tolerating homophobia and transphobia.

Stop saying we’re less

No matter how minor, if someone says that GBLT people are worth less than straight, cis people, then they need to stop.

We will not make homophobia and transphobia go away simply by concentrating on people who throw bricks at us. Those people do not exist in a vacuum, they do not spring up put of nowhere. They exist because we have encouraged them – every day when we say gay and trans people are less, every day when we make those not-even-funny jokes. Every “no homo”, every “that’s so gay” every casual slur, every little slight; every time there’s another long debate on whether we’re due equal rights, every time another religious leader stands up to explain our sin, every time another leader tell us how wrong we are; and every time you are silent when you hear these, when you see these – this creates the bigots who beat and kill us. This puts the blood on your hands.

The hate does not exist in a vacuum. It is because we, as a society, agree to that hate and encourage that hate. When TV programmes still include vapid gay jokes and stereotypes, but we get outrage at gay kisses before the watershed. When priests explain why we’re not due humanity, when MPs rage and debate whether we’re due equality, when people rise to high office despite an unrelenting record of hatred, when every second of every minute of every hour of every day when we get disparaging slurs and contempt that people will not remove from their language – this is the soil in which hate grows, this is our society’s agreement to hate.

Stop agreeing to homophobia and transphobia. Stop encouraging it. We can’t continue this ridiculous charade of having homophobia and transphobia on every channel, in the pulpit, in the newspapers and in the Commons and then turn round in shock that another GBLT person has been kicked out by their parents, has committed suicide, has been hunted down in the street and beaten and burned and killed. We can’t cry the crocodile tears and say how horrible it is when every other day of the year we cheer lead for it.

Stop homophobia and transphobia. Stop it – don’t do it, don’t encourage it, don’t tolerate it.
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Often in the writing blogosphere we see various forms of Blog Hops and blog tours and similar promotions to draw attention to authors, their books and let readers connect with authors who may interest them.

One upcoming blog hop is Hop against Homophobia

This is a blog hop of authors of the M/M genre. It allows writers in the m/m genre to gain attention to their M/M books and offer M/M prizes. The site itself explains its purpose:

the purpose is to get readers to a) see your name b) see your books and c) have the option to follow your blog to get to know you as an author and to be kept up to date about your future work.

And to start it off they’re going to set things rolling on the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

So, what is The International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia? Well, it’s pretty much exactly what it says. It is a day where we fight against the damage these bigotries do. It is a day when we look at the damage these bigotries do.

And let us never underestimate the power of this bigotry. There are still a horrendous number of countries out there where being GBLT is a crime. In some of them you will be tortured or executed. Others will imprison you for years and, of course, should you serve your sentence you face being returned to prison since, of course, people don’t stop being GBLT.

People are killed for being GBLT. People lose their jobs for being GBLT (often without any recourse in law). People lose their homes for being GBLT. People are denied any legal partnership rights for being GBLT, people are denied medical care for being GBLT, people are vilified and attacked and destroyed for being GBLT. People turn to drugs and alcohol because of anti-GBLT bigotry and countless GBLT people are driven to suicide every year by anti-GBLT bigotry.

In short, homophobia and transphobia are devastating forces out there and any campaign to battle them (Including this day) is vital and precious and very very important (though we can have debates about the effectiveness of individual days, that is a different discussion).

And these authors have decided to use this day to shill their books. They’re using this day about bigotry against GBLT people for marketing. Worse, not only are they appropriating this day for marketing, the actual purpose of the day they are using does not even remotely have to be involved

From the site itself:
- Talk about the International Day Against Homophobia in your May 17th blog entry (as little as just a mention – your choice).
--- Add the colorful Hop Against Homophobia image to your blog/website with a link to the official hop site:

There, you don’t have to actually do anything about homophobia or transphobia or talk about the day or what it actually aims for – don’t let silly things like that put you off. Don’t let the actual purpose of the day get in the way of your marketing. No, so long as you mention the name (all the better to appropriate it properly) and then you’ll get a giant anti-homophobia rainbow banner as well! Sure you don’t actually have to do anything about homophobia or transphobia, but you get the banner. I wonder if it comes with cookies?

Let me repeat this so we can be abundantly clear – no part of this blog hop requires acting or speaking against homophobia or transphobia, nor does it require being a GBLT member or ally (and no, being part of the M/M genre is not synonymous with allydom. Using us does not make you an ally, writing these books does not grant automatic status as a supporter - far from it). It is not about GBLT rights –it is about advertising, marketing and giving away free M/M stuff to attract more readers and followers

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And the result of such hatred is always the lives lost, the blood spilled and the pain suffered.

These lists and links are always depressing – the more so because I know they’re only the tip of the iceberg – not a fraction of what is reported and in turn that only a fraction of the violence that happened – and continues to happen – every day.

A man in Florida has a killed his lesbian daughter’s girlfriend. Friends of the daughter have said that he hated that he did it because he didn’t like lesbians. I cannot even begin to contemplate the pain of this or the hate that would drive ytou to do such a thing.

I should be beyond  being shocked by homophobiuc violence by now, but this chilled me. the mayor of Paris has claimed that the killing of 2 men – by burying them alive – was an example of a homophobic hate crime. Buried alive? My mind refuses to go there, absolutely not.

In Scotland, openly gay teenager Jack Frew has been stabbed to death A 16 year old…

In Ipswich, UK, Rodney Greenland explains to us that he stabbed Simon Amers to death because Simon Amers touched him. The gay panic defence, again aired in the court room.

Neil McMillan is now on trial for the murder of trans woman Andrea Waddell

In Mexico, homophobia related murders have doubled. I always hope such reports indicate a greater level of reporting and consideration – it’s disturbing how homophobic hate seems to be increasing!

In Minsk, Belarus there was a pride parade. For 10 minutes before it was put down by violent riot police. Pride Parade marchers were beaten and arrested.

The violence and official brutality of this outweighs even the terrible acts around Lithuania’s pride parade. After fighting with the courts for the mere right to hold a pride parade were then attacked by protesters throwing things and attacking the marchers

An 11 year old girl in New Mexico was bullied and left bloody at school. Returning to class – she was left to bleed, ignored by her teacher. When her lesbian parents asked why, they say they were told it was because the teacher didn’t like that her parents were lesbians

And, returning to George Rekers, and his luggage and that sweet sweet Schadenfreude pie, we remind ourselves just how evil this man was. He was an adherent of aversion therapy for GBLT kids. In particular taking a boy as young as 4 that his parents were “concerned” about due to his “effeminate behaviour”. And when he displayed that “effeminate behaviour” he was punished. This developed into a scheme where when he did something “masculine” he got rewarded. When he did something “feminine” he got spanked. They ran this experiment on the boy for 2 years

Unsurprisingly, the child quickly learned to conform to their behavioural norms (fear will cause suppression after all). They were proud of their success. Except of course that their pushing the child to be more “masculine” thatb he became, as his worried mother described “a roughneck” playing recknlessly without considering damage to himself – or the furnishings. He became, as Rekers described him, “delinquent.”

And at age 18 that boy tried to commit suicide.

Of course, this is from a member of NARTH – that is on record for encouraging the bullying of GBLT children, so what can we expect except this kind of evil?

sparkindarkness: (STD)

One of the core foundations of homophobia and transphobia is hate speech. And on today of all days we have to recognise that, recognise that all the discrimination, the violence, the hatred – it’s based on a solid core of hate speech. The words that normalise hatred, the constant vitriol that justifies, encourages and cheerleads hate.

We cannot separate these words from the people who are attacked, beaten and killed. We cannot separate these words from the discriminatory laws, prejudiced policies and biased discrimination.

If bigoted violence and discrimination is the tree – then hate speech is the fertile soil in which it grows.

Even in some of these examples that are, frankly, almost comic in their extremity.

Andrea Lafferty of the Traditional Values Coalition (and isn’t it sad that hate speech has progressed to such a degree that whenever we see the words “family” “tradition” or “values” we know some hate is on the way?) is worried about ENDA. Because, you see, protecting GBLT people from discrimination will lead to having people with stump fetishes working in the Veterans Association harassing  veterans with amputees. Yes. um… wow. I think this calls for some incoherent flailing at the screen *flails*

Of course, it gets worse, because while most people would look at this woman and gently edge towards the exits and her own words make it abundantly clear she’s about as professional a witness as George Rekers, the media doesn’t agree. CBS decided that she was a great source to have on TV to discuss ENDA because bigots like this are legitimate experts. A view that is apparently shared by Roll Call a capital hill newspaper that also has decided to use Andrea Lafferty as a source. It may be worth noting at this point that the Traditional Values Coalition has been recognised as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Centre. So, please to be telling us why you are treating these people as mainstream sources, oh media? Why are you presenting hatred as legitimate? Again and again. Hate is not legitimate, it is not acceptable and it sure as hello is not something the media should present as official and reasonable!

Moving away from the media sponsored hate we can pass our glance over at facebook for some mass hating. A facebook group about Justin Bieber. now I can’t say I’m a fan – but over 300,000 peopel fanning a group to ’vote him our of the male gender?’ Ugh I have not the words. They do though – lots and lots of vile homophobic words.

Of course, no mention of hate speech would be complete without a nod to the religious groups. In fact, the Assembly of God is so utterly dedicated to hate speech that he has demanded his name and group be removed from the civility pledge – especially since non-haters may have also signed the pledge! Damn them good manners getting in the way of a good hatin’

I think it’s time for some hateful doom mongering – nope, the stump fetishes aren’t nearly enough, haven’t you been paying attention? Stump fetishes are small fry compared to earthquakes and hurricanes that tolerating the gays unleash! In fact Focus on the Family is especially worried – for this tolerance of gays is going to destroy America – just like it caused 9/11. Yeah, I want to satirise that but what can I do? It satirises itself! Though, honestly, where have all the threats about San Francisco falling into the sea gone? I mean, San Francisco, it’s a major gay centre and it’s ON a fault line – you’d think these foaming bigots would be all over that one.

The forces of politics are, naturally, among those spreading hatred. In Cyprus DISY deputy Andreas Themistocleous hit the trifecta of offensive bullshit in comparing being gay to necrophilia, paedophilia and bestiality (hey, Andreas, you totally missed incest. Did you not study your notes properly?)

Over in the US, in response to DADT, Senator Inhoffe would like to point out why DADT just wouldn’t work – because straight soldiers are hardly going to fight and risk their lives to save comrades if those comrades are nasty nasty gays, right Yeah, wow, this guy has a high opinion of soldiers, doesn’t he?

Of course, no summation of hate speech would be complete without someone conjuring the image of us big bad gays out to get your children. Over to Eugene Delgaudio, a  District Supervisor in Sterling, Virginia who wishes to warn all righteous straight people of the homosexuals targeting your children! We will turn “classrooms into social laboratories” and “playgrounds into homosexual breeding grounds!“ and they will “teach sodomy!” Of course the law he is referring to ACTUALLY protects kids from being, y’know, bullied and beaten for being gay. But don’t let facts and the suffering of children get in the way of a good hatin’ right? And when he says things like this You’ll see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to “pick out” a little boy for themselves. Well that’s some major hatred right there. Another day, another bigot comparing our love to paedophilia.

Of course, protecting the children is a theme that never gets old (while our kids are scarred, beaten and wrecked) Randy Thompson of Save California (from us of course, keep up) is perturbed by Harvey Milk’s birthday. You see, honouring Harvey Milk will lead to the “degradation of children as human beings.”  That’s a new one – he may want to forward that one to the pope, he may want to borrow it.

Which of course leads us to that old standby of hate speech – the Catholic church. Where to start?

Well there’s Mark Wahlberg’s priest who, desperately worried for Mr. Wahlberg’s morality, advised strongly against him playing a gay man Because that would be moral *checks Wahlberg’s previous roles* because none of his other characters have ever ever ever been immoral, right?

Then there’s the Brazilian Archbishop Dadeus Grings who, in addition to blaming the Catholic child abuse scandal on society (and declaring that the police should not be involved) then took a swipe at gays. Of course, acceptance of homosexuality leads to acceptance of paedophilia, y’see. Yes paedophilia, again.  Reading from the standard Catholic song sheet, really couldn’t one of them at least find an original script for their religious based hate speech? It’s getting old

Of course, the pope is not one to slack when it comes to hate speech, and certainly isn’t going to be outdone by his bishops! Oh no. Speaking in Portugal, the Pope has declared that gay marriage, along with abortion, are among “the most insidious and dangerous challenges to society” And I thought comparing us to climate change was extreme. Seriously, the most insidious and dangerous challenges to society?! Is that on par with or worse than poverty, inequality, terrorism, war, the AIDS epidemic, water shortages? Since we’re up there with those oh-so-terrible abortions *eye roll* as the MOST dangerous and insidious, that means nothing can be worse…

Hey, y‘know what I think is worse? CHILD ABUSE. Now shut up with your ridiculous hating, you’re embarrassing yourself.

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I think a good starting point with the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia is to address a particular blight in our current blighted Cabinet, Theresa May

As I mentioned before, she is grossly unsuitable for this post. It boggles the mind that a homophobe with her record could be given this role in government. It shows not only indifference, but contempt for our rights

There is, as I’ve mentioned, a petition for her removal http://www.gopetition.co.uk/online/36217.html it is not the best petition, I admit, but it is the best we have available at the moment

Theresa May’s appointment is not only par the course for a Tory government and a shockingly early indication of their respect for our rights for the next 5 years (dear gods help us) but it is also a disturbing indictment of the Lib Dem’s commitment to the principles they apparently laud. Now sharing seats in power, it seems that the Lib Dems’ willingness to compromise is great… and our rights are one of those things they’re apparently content to drop as unimportant.

The issue and presence of Theresa May as Equalities Minister is frightening both for the damage she can do – and as an indication of how valued we are by this current government.

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This piece originally appeared at Womanist Musings where Renee has very generously allowed my random musings to appear on her excellent blog

I wasn’t sure whether to post this, either there or here, certainly not both. Despite fighting campaigning and working against homophobia every day, I am reluctant in the extreme to confront my own experiences. I have the nagging feeling I am failing or losing by allowing remembered incidents bother me, I feel like a failure when I am triggered and I feel weak and angry that these events carried – and carry – so much pain for me. There are some events in my life I don’t think I will ever be ready to confront, especially given how hard it was to do this one.

I was stuck in a truly dull party the other day. It was one of those awkward events where no-one actually knows anyone else, but everyone pretends they do – all at the instigation of one of a friend who seems obsessed with resurrecting old school acquaintances. If I haven‘t spoken to someone in 10 years or more? There‘s usually a reason for it.

So here I am, bad drink in hands, checking the clock for the earliest polite opportunity to leave and vaguely considering whether jumping out of a third storey window to freedom would hurt all that much, when an old schoolmate approached. And I had a deer-in-headlights moment

“Do you remember me?”

Yes. I remembered him.

He was the best friend of my oldest friend, a boy I’d known since we were both in nappies  He was the first person I came out to, when I had just turned 14.

I remember my oldest friend hitting me then kicking while I lay on the floor until things cracked.

I remember being taken to hospital by my horrified parents. I remember lying to them about what had happened, saying I’d been mugged (like that was believable). I remember lying to the police.

I remember them not believing me. I remember the months – years – afterwards of them not trusting me, of their worry about what I was involved in, of the constant questions, whether I was using drugs, what I was going, where I was going. I remember lying to it all. I remember them not believing a word.

I remember my oldest friend telling him.

I remember him and his group ostracising me. I remember him calling me “faggot” and “queer” and “arsebandit” and “fudgepacker”

I remember them throwing things at me. I remember trying not to leave school unless I was in a group. I remember him and his friends waiting for me as I walked to school and walked home.

I remember coming home bruised and bloody and my parents asking why. I remember lying to them, again. I remember the trust I lost, the rift it created. I remember them worrying, I remember my mother crying about it – and still not telling her, still lying to her. I remember lying to them in hospital and the doctor’s office.

I remember him telling my friends, gods I remember him telling half the damn year. I remember people avoiding me, I remember the whispers. I remember lying to them too. I remember telling them I wasn’t gay. I remember constantly insisting on being straight when i wasn’t. I remember feeling like I had to deny what I was.

I remember lying to my teachers, pretending there was nothing wrong, refusing to talk to them. I remember being angry and snarling at them when they pressed. I remember them wondering if there was something wrong at home.

I remember I stopped going out, becoming something of a hermit because I didn’t know if I would meet him and his friends. I remember driving many of my friends away because I didn’t trust them any more, because I was scared of them.

I remember being afraid pretty much all the time, I remember being ashamed. I remember hating myself. I remember trying to change. I remember fear of hurting my family being the only real thing holding me back from despair.

I remember this lasting until I left school. I remember picking a college based not on what was best for me – but because I was sure he and his friends weren’t going.

I remember it being years before I had the courage to come out to someone again. I remember it being years before I convinced myself they were wrong, not me. I remember it was years before I realised I deserved to be happy, to love, to be.

I remember this, though I’ve tried REALLY hard not to over the years. I still have the scars – physical and mental. I was damaged by these memories, badly. Not the only damage or perhaps even the most severe, but damaged nevertheless. Damage that took a long time to repair, damage that still isn’t entirely fixed.

But he didn’t remember, or wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. And he was stood there and smiling and carrying on the great pretence that we were friends. That we had good times to talk about. That we had happy memories and pleasant reminiscences.

And I played by the script. I pasted a plastic smile on my face. I laughed, I told pathetic jokes and helped slop whitewash over the mess of history. I joined in the pretence, I kept up the act. I let the lie stand that it didn’t matter, that it was bygones, that time had healed all wounds. All the while not sure whether I want to run away or go for the throat. But I played nice. I did the acceptable thing, the mature thing.

After all, I’m 28 now. Isn’t it petty to hold grudges over things that ended when I was 16? Doesn’t it mean I am weak and pathetic to still be hurt by that? Shouldn’t an adult be able to put that behind them? Surely there’s something wrong with me for this still to matter? Surely I’m being ridiculous treating incidents as a teenager as important?

But it feels important. It took me 4 days to write this. 4 days when normally I tear off a post in a few hours (hence the typos). 4 days where I kept coming back, deleting, stopping, considering scrapping the whole thing. Beloved and friends have kept me from a funk of depression, I’ve been trying to raise some anger, to force humour – anything to not feel so… small and weak over this. I still don’t know if I’ll finish it or how to finish it.

I spend a lot of my time running and hiding from the various incidents of homophobia in my life. It has long been my way of (not) dealing with them. It’s ironic that I devote so much time to fighting, confronting and combating homophobia but still do my level best to deny and avoid my own experiences. It is hard to have those walls torn down, to be forced to look at the thinsg I‘ve been so studiously ignoring. And I can’t help but feel ashamed that those walls coming down still hurts, that I have somehow failed

So, yes, it was 12-14 years ago, but I am still vulnerable to it. And, though I’m having a problem accepting this, I have a right to be vulnerable to this, to be hurt by this. I have no reason to be ashamed that I am not strong enough to brush this off nor should I feel like I’ve failed because it still leaves its mark on me.

Easy words to type… much harder to believe.

It has to be said, as far as parties went it wasn’t the best. Next time, I’m totally bringing a cheaper bottle. And maybe an axe.

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