Ranty life post
Jun. 19th, 2003 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessBoyfriend is in dog house. Well, I'll build one first then deposit him firmly within.
Wants me to dye my hair. MY HAIR?! *growls* I'll admit to being UTTERLY vain about my hair. It's below my waist (all length, no coming to a point or anything), really thick and jet black - utterly black, not blue-black, not brunette, but black with obsidian high lights. It is my best feature and he wants me to change it?! *growl*
I love my hair. Yes, massively vain. BUT I need it Ok? I'm horribly short, scrawny (I agree with Laurell K Hamilton, guys my size who seriously weight lift might as well grow big wooly beards, wave an axe around, wear lots of armour and start singing about gold. And fat's out of the question or I look like a hobbit - a Tolkin book hobbit all small and plump, not a film hobbit who're cute and pretty with REALLY blue blue eyes that are so yummy and mmmmmm...)
Wait, I'm back. Random sexy hobbit moment. So much better than elves - besides which everyone knows that elves are only pretty because of the aesthetic death squads. Aha, didn't you know? Elite cadres of well armed and incredibly well groomed and well dressed elves prowl the countryside looking for all fat, short, unkempt and ugly elves and drag them off to secret re-education camps, where they face unspeakable horrors...
Inquisitor Elf #1: AHA! Know that you will face pain beyond all knowing! The torture will be excrutiating! Agony that plunges the depths of all physical endurance! Know your fate, and FEAR!
Inquisitor elf #2: Ooooh, quite right, ducky. And after he's finished with the waxing we just have to do something with your hair!
So remember next time you are faced with a bad hair day, to think of the poor elves, for a split end can mean the Malicious Make-Over of Mordor in the hands of the Beautician Nazis!
Ah hell, does anyone remember where I was going with this before I went all Lord of the Rings?
Screw it, I'll forgive him if he fills my depressingly empty glass.
*beholds rapidly filled glass*
All forgiven. Life good again.
Yes, I'm easily bought.
Wants me to dye my hair. MY HAIR?! *growls* I'll admit to being UTTERLY vain about my hair. It's below my waist (all length, no coming to a point or anything), really thick and jet black - utterly black, not blue-black, not brunette, but black with obsidian high lights. It is my best feature and he wants me to change it?! *growl*
I love my hair. Yes, massively vain. BUT I need it Ok? I'm horribly short, scrawny (I agree with Laurell K Hamilton, guys my size who seriously weight lift might as well grow big wooly beards, wave an axe around, wear lots of armour and start singing about gold. And fat's out of the question or I look like a hobbit - a Tolkin book hobbit all small and plump, not a film hobbit who're cute and pretty with REALLY blue blue eyes that are so yummy and mmmmmm...)
Wait, I'm back. Random sexy hobbit moment. So much better than elves - besides which everyone knows that elves are only pretty because of the aesthetic death squads. Aha, didn't you know? Elite cadres of well armed and incredibly well groomed and well dressed elves prowl the countryside looking for all fat, short, unkempt and ugly elves and drag them off to secret re-education camps, where they face unspeakable horrors...
Inquisitor Elf #1: AHA! Know that you will face pain beyond all knowing! The torture will be excrutiating! Agony that plunges the depths of all physical endurance! Know your fate, and FEAR!
Inquisitor elf #2: Ooooh, quite right, ducky. And after he's finished with the waxing we just have to do something with your hair!
So remember next time you are faced with a bad hair day, to think of the poor elves, for a split end can mean the Malicious Make-Over of Mordor in the hands of the Beautician Nazis!
Ah hell, does anyone remember where I was going with this before I went all Lord of the Rings?
Screw it, I'll forgive him if he fills my depressingly empty glass.
*beholds rapidly filled glass*
All forgiven. Life good again.
Yes, I'm easily bought.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-19 01:57 pm (UTC)Um, why does he want you to dye it? Presumably he knew what your reaction might be.
But I'm afraid I must disagree with you about the hobbits vs. elves thing. I don't know what everyone sees in Frodo/Elijah Wood. *ducks* I have a friend who carried pictures of him in her wallet! I much prefer Legolas. It could very well be the hair. Or Strider... mmm. (Not Aragorn, Strider. There is a difference.)
Re:
Date: 2003-06-19 02:16 pm (UTC)CUT IT? NAY!! Short hair is so not for me.
Temporary dye MAYBE... but it tends to leave a sheen...
Part of his wish COULD be to provoke a reaction from me - but he seems to think hair colour should change as casually as clothes (his does) but I am not doing a red/yellow combine! I don;t even WEAr those colours.
HEATHEN!! *clutches Elijah protectively* alright the hair on the elves is nice - but those eyes! I love those eyes! I am such an eye person, and super-blue eyes... *sigh*
Strider? Nice - but I'm not into the designer stubble look. OK for a day or two, then I'll reach for the razor.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-19 02:40 pm (UTC)red/yellow combine *shudders* ick. Just, ick.
Okay, so his eyes are nice. I'll give you that.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-19 02:47 pm (UTC)Me? Nah, my hair is incredibly durable - it'll SURVIVE anything. Just will retaliate to bad treatement by eating combs and attacking hair dryers.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-19 02:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-19 02:59 pm (UTC)And it ties itself to the head board.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-19 03:09 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-20 11:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-19 03:48 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-20 12:00 pm (UTC)And how does he always get his way? *sulks*