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sparkindarknessIt is rare indeed that I am dragged out for a night, and I usually prefer a drink after work to dancing to the small hours (especially at this time of year)
So it was that chance found me, b/f and a couple of other good friends are at a bar, indulging in our most favourite of pass times - bitching cattily about acquaintences or passers by, occasionally diverting to bitch about politics or start a small rhetoric war on the quality of various alcohols.
So it was that M came in with her new friend.
It has to be noted that her male friend is NOT a b/f or love interest of any kind. Nor is he auditioning for the part. Honest. Really. Look she made it ABUNDANTLY clear to him and all of us. Definitely. uh-huh...
So she and her friend plop themselves down, order drinks and make small talk. We bitch some more, drink some more, tear apart a guy's outfit, some random groping, the usual; when M reveals her true intent.
M: *whispering* Test him guys.
Me: *sighs*
B/f: *rolls eyes*
Both: *FLIRT with friend*
All will be revealed. No, not that kind of revealed. Don't protest I KNOW you were thinking it!
Flirting continues. Friend goes from confused to amused. Other people at table join in. Increase tempo and level... and...
Friend: *moves VEERRRRYYY close* *presses thigh against other guy's thigh* *hand... wanders*
B/f: Ding! Result. Sorry M, you got another one.
M: Sod! Not again. *turns on friend* Don't suppose you're bi are you?
friend: *Confused*
M: Nah, that'd be wishful thinking. Damn it! Every bloody time!
Me: Honestly M, don't you know any straight guys? Even Kinsey said that only 10% of the population is gay, odds are you must get one eventually.
B/f: How is it you can find more gay men in a topless lap dancing club than I can find in a gay bar with hot and cold running go-go boys? It's so unfair.
M: YOU think it's unfair!!
Me: Couldn't you... make your intentions clearer while reeling them in?
B/f: How about I sign? "I'm talking to you because at some point I want us to fuck like bunnies." It'd save time.
M: *glares*
Still, alls well that ends well. I think friend is now dating one of the other people at the table (B/f wishes to point out that 'dating' is not a very appropriate way of describing the relationship). And M remains a perfect target for cruel amusement. I predict she will ignore all men for the next few weeks, exploiting her bi-ness to play with women instead, until her male preference leanings inevitably cause her to swing back to a guy.
WHo, we all know, WILL be gay :)
So it was that chance found me, b/f and a couple of other good friends are at a bar, indulging in our most favourite of pass times - bitching cattily about acquaintences or passers by, occasionally diverting to bitch about politics or start a small rhetoric war on the quality of various alcohols.
So it was that M came in with her new friend.
It has to be noted that her male friend is NOT a b/f or love interest of any kind. Nor is he auditioning for the part. Honest. Really. Look she made it ABUNDANTLY clear to him and all of us. Definitely. uh-huh...
So she and her friend plop themselves down, order drinks and make small talk. We bitch some more, drink some more, tear apart a guy's outfit, some random groping, the usual; when M reveals her true intent.
M: *whispering* Test him guys.
Me: *sighs*
B/f: *rolls eyes*
Both: *FLIRT with friend*
All will be revealed. No, not that kind of revealed. Don't protest I KNOW you were thinking it!
Flirting continues. Friend goes from confused to amused. Other people at table join in. Increase tempo and level... and...
Friend: *moves VEERRRRYYY close* *presses thigh against other guy's thigh* *hand... wanders*
B/f: Ding! Result. Sorry M, you got another one.
M: Sod! Not again. *turns on friend* Don't suppose you're bi are you?
friend: *Confused*
M: Nah, that'd be wishful thinking. Damn it! Every bloody time!
Me: Honestly M, don't you know any straight guys? Even Kinsey said that only 10% of the population is gay, odds are you must get one eventually.
B/f: How is it you can find more gay men in a topless lap dancing club than I can find in a gay bar with hot and cold running go-go boys? It's so unfair.
M: YOU think it's unfair!!
Me: Couldn't you... make your intentions clearer while reeling them in?
B/f: How about I sign? "I'm talking to you because at some point I want us to fuck like bunnies." It'd save time.
M: *glares*
Still, alls well that ends well. I think friend is now dating one of the other people at the table (B/f wishes to point out that 'dating' is not a very appropriate way of describing the relationship). And M remains a perfect target for cruel amusement. I predict she will ignore all men for the next few weeks, exploiting her bi-ness to play with women instead, until her male preference leanings inevitably cause her to swing back to a guy.
WHo, we all know, WILL be gay :)
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-20 03:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-20 03:15 pm (UTC)She MUST have an infallible gaydar, if only she could use it properly.
Of course, we can set up a gay dating agency with her exes
FS
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-21 06:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-22 10:12 am (UTC)M wouldn't mind if they came out AFTER she slept with them. It's all the people she picks up who turn out to be gay before she nets them into the sack.
Your friend ought to be careful, let the fundies hear about ehr and they'll be hunting her down!
deja vu
Date: 2004-12-21 12:26 pm (UTC)Re: deja vu
Date: 2004-12-22 10:13 am (UTC)