God’s message through natural disasters

[sparkindarkness]

It has become a common meme now that whenever a natural disaster happens, within moments there is some religious expert announcing that god is not happy and has decided to vent his fury. Earthquakes in Iran have been condemned as being caused by scary scary breasts (leading to the rather inspired boobquake). Haiti’s earthquake was blamed on, sickeningly some kind of pact with the devil. Katrina was blamed on, variously, abortions,  GBLTs, mardi gras, sexual immorality. Even 9/11 was blamed on, well, among other things: liberals, the ACLU, lesbians, gays, feminists, abortionists and many many more.

And now this volcano in Iceland has been blamed on (in addition to us nasty gays of course. Honestly, I don’t know how you straight people can function? Surely you should be cowering under your beds in terror of the dreadful gay power we wield!)… health care reform

As people may or may not know, a goodly part of the UK’s airspace was full of volcanic ash, which was rather irritating.

Rush Limbaugh is quick to explain this to us. You see, it’s god’s punishment for the US government passing the healthcare reform legislation

Well… hmmm… ok… well… tell me, does he get drug tested at all? Because it may be needed.

Looking at all of these disasters and their “reasons”, I have to say,  wouldn’t an omnipotent deity have a rather more effective communication system? Maybe something just a little less ambiguous?

I can see it now.

God: Curse them! They have passed healthcare legislation! They are going to prevent the poor from dying from preventable disease! They are even preventing the holy insurance companies from screwing over the meek right royally! THIS MUST STOP!!!!

Metatron: Are you going to use your omnipotent might to end it, Oh lord?

God: No, I am going to send a message of my fury!

Metatron: Ah, an angel coming down to speak to the collected masses, surrounded by glory?

God: No

Metatron: Your commands writ across the sky in words of fire?

God: No

Metatron: Um… really vivid dreams and a vague feeling of unease?

God: No, I will make a volcano erupt.

Metatron: But, uh, volcanoes kinda erupt ANYWAY? Is it going to be a long inactive one in the US, stunning scientists everywhere?

God: No, it will be an active volcano. In Iceland.

Metatron: Iceland…

God: Yes, and it will spew a vast cloud of volcanic ash into the sky!

Metatron: Ah, and it will flow over the Atlantic in a grey pall over the US?

God: No, over Europe of course

Metatron: And in giant letters of smoke, your words will be delivered to the people of the world?

God: No, it will be a big cloud. A big black cloud. Planes won’t be able to fly.

Metatron: Planes in Europe?!

God: Yes! Then all will loom upon it and see the word of god and know my message. How could anyone possibly mistake the meaning of a natural phenomenom that science can explain on a continent 2,000 miles away!?

Metatron: Damn it Gabriel, I told you to water down his drinks.

See, this is what I mean about people attributing nonsense to god. I don’t believe in their deity, but do they really think an all knowing all powerful being would be this… silly?

(And I blame the volcano eruption on the Icelandics who are all sniggering in undisguised glee at the press from around the world desperately trying to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull)

Comments

[ilyena_sylph]

Rush pisses me off like no tomorrow, but this post made me cackle in approval.

Thanks.