Sparky is Not a Happy Bunny
Mar. 23rd, 2010 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessI went to meet a client today. In Bradford. I left at 12:10. I got back.. 30 minutes ago. 11:00.
This pleases me not.
Dear Senior Partners - ENOUGH, damn it. There is more than enough business within this city without you trolling for work across the whole damn county. Why are you doing this? I'm already handling more cases than I should be doing - and I'm not alone. Taking on another local case would be dubious - but taking on one in Bradford? Do they not have lawyers in Bradford? We are not a huge firm, it's nice that we're building connections and reputations elsewhere but is there actually a purpose to it?
And do you think any of YOUR august selves might traipse around the county once in a great while? And while we're on the subject - this lovey-dovey "Our lawyers can meet you at your convenience" to help clients who may need to meet during business hours? That can go too - we already are on call for police station attendence at any hour of the day or night - when do you intend us to sleep? And, again, I notice you're not the ones attenting 5:30am meetings. I can't coherently identify my own FEET at that time in a morning! You expect me to interview clients? Because at the moment anyone asking for a divorce is going to be handed an alibi, an axe and a map of convenient body disposal spots while I catch up on my sleep.
Dear various county councils - was it REALLY necessary to dig up EVERY road in Yorkshire today? Really? And what bright spark decided to not only dig up a major artery requiring a diversion but THEN to dig up the DIVERSION road?! Did you do it on purpose? Do you have some kind of daemonic pact that requires you to cause human misery?
Dear Sat Nav: *BING* I *BING* know *BING I *BING* am *BING* speeding *BING* it's *BING* a *BING* motorway *BING* no-one *BING* cares. *BING* Shut *BING* Up. *BING*
Also *BING* the *BING* speed *BING* limit *BING* there *BING* is *BING* 40mph *BING* I *BING* am *BING* doing *BING* 30 *BING* SO WHY ARE YOU STILL BEEPING AT ME?!
Dear NHS: I am so not in the mood for you to spam every radio advert break with your warnings that the bloodbanks are low - when you stop turning away perfectly good donors because of mindless prejudice, I'll believe that we have a crisis.
Dear solitors advertising on the radio: you make me ashamed of my profession.
Sparky is also ravenously hungry (and the Sparky Ferret metabolism does not appreciate missed meals) because the only thing I've eaten all day is a spicy-alleged-chicken wrap from a petrol station. What muck is this? Has it even seen a chicken? There are more chemicals in the sandwich than in the fuel I put in my car! Isn't it false advertising to even call this thing food? And it must be breaking laws not to have hazardous waste signs plastered on the packaging that is only faintly more platicky than the actual contents. If my body is a temple then eating this is an act of desecration on par with snorting crack off a prostitutes body while laid on the altar.
Yes. I am wearing my grumpy face.
This pleases me not.
Dear Senior Partners - ENOUGH, damn it. There is more than enough business within this city without you trolling for work across the whole damn county. Why are you doing this? I'm already handling more cases than I should be doing - and I'm not alone. Taking on another local case would be dubious - but taking on one in Bradford? Do they not have lawyers in Bradford? We are not a huge firm, it's nice that we're building connections and reputations elsewhere but is there actually a purpose to it?
And do you think any of YOUR august selves might traipse around the county once in a great while? And while we're on the subject - this lovey-dovey "Our lawyers can meet you at your convenience" to help clients who may need to meet during business hours? That can go too - we already are on call for police station attendence at any hour of the day or night - when do you intend us to sleep? And, again, I notice you're not the ones attenting 5:30am meetings. I can't coherently identify my own FEET at that time in a morning! You expect me to interview clients? Because at the moment anyone asking for a divorce is going to be handed an alibi, an axe and a map of convenient body disposal spots while I catch up on my sleep.
Dear various county councils - was it REALLY necessary to dig up EVERY road in Yorkshire today? Really? And what bright spark decided to not only dig up a major artery requiring a diversion but THEN to dig up the DIVERSION road?! Did you do it on purpose? Do you have some kind of daemonic pact that requires you to cause human misery?
Dear Sat Nav: *BING* I *BING* know *BING I *BING* am *BING* speeding *BING* it's *BING* a *BING* motorway *BING* no-one *BING* cares. *BING* Shut *BING* Up. *BING*
Also *BING* the *BING* speed *BING* limit *BING* there *BING* is *BING* 40mph *BING* I *BING* am *BING* doing *BING* 30 *BING* SO WHY ARE YOU STILL BEEPING AT ME?!
Dear NHS: I am so not in the mood for you to spam every radio advert break with your warnings that the bloodbanks are low - when you stop turning away perfectly good donors because of mindless prejudice, I'll believe that we have a crisis.
Dear solitors advertising on the radio: you make me ashamed of my profession.
Sparky is also ravenously hungry (and the Sparky Ferret metabolism does not appreciate missed meals) because the only thing I've eaten all day is a spicy-alleged-chicken wrap from a petrol station. What muck is this? Has it even seen a chicken? There are more chemicals in the sandwich than in the fuel I put in my car! Isn't it false advertising to even call this thing food? And it must be breaking laws not to have hazardous waste signs plastered on the packaging that is only faintly more platicky than the actual contents. If my body is a temple then eating this is an act of desecration on par with snorting crack off a prostitutes body while laid on the altar.
Yes. I am wearing my grumpy face.