He stole my briefcase!

[sparkindarkness]

There was a minor panic today because my briefcase was mislaid.

This briefcase is worth more than my liver. It contains all the work, papers, flash drives et al that I bring home with me, it has paperwork that has strict deadlines, it has highly confidential information. In short, I was mildly perturbed by its disappearance.

Beloved was not helpful.

Beloved: Why don't you try looking for it?
SParky: I AM LOOKING!!!!
Beloved: No you're not, you're dithering and panicking.
Sparky: I'm LOOOKING!
Beloved: ranting now. Y'know, if you'd put your stuff away...
Sparky *DOES NOT MURDER HIM - which makes me a SAINT dear people, a freaking SAINT!* I put it here, RIGHT HERE!!!
Beloved: What's the worst that could happen?
Sparky: the WORST? It's a briefcase full of sensitive confidential paperwork! I could be fired, I could be struck off! I could be forced to work in thos damn no-win no fee adverts! I could spend the rest of my life asking people if they have had an accident in the last 3 years!!!
Beloved: *is amused* You're cute when you're dramatic.
Sparky: MY WHOLE FUTURE RESTS ON THIS!!!!
Beloved: Because you're the first lawyer to ever lose paperwork?
Sparky: Yes, yes I am. and the whole damn world is going to end because of it!!
Beloved: It must be here. It's not like somebody stole it...
Sparky: That's it! It's a conspiracy, the local police and rival firms have allied to..
Beloved: Here it is.
Sparky: *paranoid rant cut short*... I didn't put it there. I never put it there.
Beloved: I must have put it away... See, if YOU put things away now and then...

I spent THREE HOURS looking for that thing because he'd put it away... oooooh he will suffer for this. Yes yes he will.

Beloved isn't letting me handle sharp things until Saturday now.

Beloved is wiser than he looks. But not wise enough to hide all the blunt objects.