Rather more non-contact than I wanted to be - some haddocking is needed!

[sparkindarkness]

I wanted to do some writing these past few days but I've been rather distracted. Dad found a lump in a sensitive, intimate and highly-prone to cancer area that caused all kinds of ruptions in the family. Thank all that is holy the nice doctor people have said it's nothing to worry about and all will be well. *relief*

Of course, the haddocking. First and biggest haddock goes to dad. You found a swelling on your testicles and waited OVER TWO WEEKS before seeking any kind of medical attention. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? You know BETTER than that. Seriously. Your cousin DIED because he had prostrate cancer and ignored agonising pain rather than seek medical attention until he finally collapsed. What the hell were you thinking?! It's not like you even hid that something was wrong, mum has been frantic.

On the second haddock - mum, dad, I am SICK of playing marriage counsellor to you two. Really - will you just TALK to each other every once in a great while and stop using me as an intermediary to communicate your issues to the other. It was tiresome when I was a teenager and it has just got more so over the years. I have enough stress without you making me deal with every spat, issue, insecurity and random craziness you have in your marriage. Gods, and Beloved wondered why I was commitmentphobic! (Have I mentioned how sick I am of being the 'capable one'?)

On the third haddock - brother mine, parental folks told you this problem in confidence so the whole family didn't learn and descend like an annoying, bitching, gossiping, busybody wave tsunami. I told you, expressly, to keep it to yourself. I think we need to work on your comprehension skills. What part of "keep it to yourself" involves putting it on FACEBOOK?! "Just me and the MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET will know?!" *headdesk* I blame myself, really. I should have known better.



Still, dad is well. Dramas are dying. And the NHS gets cookies and sweet things. He rang doctor on Monday, appointment same day, hospital tests wednesday. Got all clear from those tests the same day. Screw private healthcare - the NHS totally has our backs.

Comments

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

::offers tea and foot rubs to you::

I've been social glue/intermediary. It's exhausting. Thank you for doing it.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Thankee.

It's tiresome - necessary but tiresome

[seryan.livejournal.com]

From experience, I can tell you that the only way to get your parents to STOP using you as an intermediary is to flat out tell them, "I am not getting involved. You are adults. Work it out," and then stonewalling them anytime they try to bring it up. "No. We've been over this. You have to work it out between yourselves."

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I've debated this, but hell,s this has been happening since I was 15. It frustrates me no end

[seryan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. But they'll keep doing it until you refuse to put up with it.

[solid-squid.livejournal.com]

<3 for the NHS. Despite it's problems, it does provide an impoortant service and is an awesome thing to have. I had to get blood tests a few months back on a wednesday and had the sample sent off, processed and returned by the friday morning. Big relief not having to worry about it for very long

[solid-squid.livejournal.com]

Oh, and the initial tests that suggested there might be problems were on the monday or tuesday, so the problem arose and was tested for within a week

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

ERveryone complains about waiting lists - I don't see them. Not for things that are important

[solid-squid.livejournal.com]

I've seen the waiting lists, and they can be a problem for some people. Both of my aunts have needed hip replacements, and both had waiting times for the op which was well over a year. Transplants too have waiting lists, as do emergency room waits, which I think are the biggest one for most people (it's the one people see most frequently)

Thing is, while unpleasant a hip replacement wait isn't something that will kill you, and many things these surgeons do *will* kill you if not taken care of quickly. Transplants always have a waiting list as not all organs are available quickly and emergency room waits are graded based on how severely injured you are, which is why going in with a twisted ankle will have a much longer wait than having cranial trauma. In some hospitals it is pretty bad, but not across the board.

Personally I think the biggest problem they have is in terms of money. Too much is spent on management staff who were brought in to manage facilities that were later cut from the budgets without also cutting the management for them (who need to hire in consultants, secretarys, other management staff, etc).

One of my aunts had a job that consisted of just making interesting graphs for the management to show in meetings. The data wouldn't be acted on, it just acted as a sort of wallpaper so that the people in the meeting had something to look at. It paid really well though for such a useless job.

Oh, and there's the issue of management not actually reporting all their expenses until the end of the year then asking the government to cough up more cash

That said, while I think the NHS as a whole needs a lot of re-structuring, with more of a focus on nursing in particular, it's not something I'd want to do without, even with the money wasting

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

That's my point - yes therer are waiting lists, but rarely for anything life threatening. Emergency room is triage - if you're waiting be thankful that you're not one of the ones being seen quickly...

I think a lot is spent on this pointless "choice" and privatisation nonsense. We don't want "choice." we want HEALTH. Choice is not an element of this. And the paperwork - aieeeee, so very very unnecessary


It certainly needs more work- more nurses, less managers. More doctors, less targets. Less bureacrats telling the doctors what they need to do an more letting the doctors do what they have to do

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

All hail the NHS goodness :) When my aunt had breast cancer and my cousin had bowel cancer - they were there. Quick, efficient, perfect. Could not have asked for more.

Whenever there is something that could be severely wrong the NHS has our backs :)

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

Yikes - glad to hear the all-clear, but that's a lot of stress and drama.

(and yes - go team NHS!)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

My grey hairs,. they are growing.


*waves cheerleader pompoms*

[thisdaydreamer.livejournal.com]

What a relief that everything is going to be fine, other than the family drama.

I'm not sure who should get the larger/more thoroughly frozen haddock - your father or brother. Your father is guilty of the same kind of doc-phobia that a lot of people have, so I'm inclined to be kinder to him. Your brother, on the other hand... Facebook? Really? What the hell?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It's been rocky for a while and added to everyuone's stress level, but finally through

I';m just so frustrated - waiting like that could be disastrous. And facebook? I have not the words

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

Uh... bwuh... Facebook?!?!?

See, this is why I refuse to have anything to do with social networking sites. They suck the intelligence out of people who log onto them, causing them to believe that absolutely everything in your life not only could but SHOULD be shared with the universe. Eesh.

I'm glad your dad is OK, but yes, people who go "oh I know something is wrong but I'm not getting it looked at" cause my urge to kill - er, I mean urge to nag - to rise. My grandmother died of uterine cancer because she knew something was wrong but it was too 'private' for her to go to the doctor before it was far, far too late. :(

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was my reaction as well, after I headdesked

I like to blog - but to post every little thing you happen to be doing up for everyone to see? *boggles*

It's so depressing. I'm so relieved he's ok - but there are too many deeply tragic cases like your grandmother out there