Advertisers make Sparky SMASH!

[sparkindarkness]

As has been previously noted, Sparky is not the biggest fan of the advertising industry. I hate that 90% of what they do is based on human stupidity and I hate more that so many people are so damn stupid that it actually works.

Take the newest offence.

Lenor infusions fabric softener. Now, in their defence, they're actually very very very good, or so I'm told anyway (the laundry? I like it not. I'm certainly not fiddling about with 8 different chemicals in the washer. Clothes go in. Powder goes in. Hopefully, at some point, water will go in. Ta-da).

Fair enough I'll concede the point (mainly because I have no intention of trying to prove it wrong) but I object to the names (I'd link the site but it is perhaps the best example of what NOT to do I've ever seen on a website. Honestly, if I have to wait 3 minutes for it to load so I can snark at your products I sure as hell aren't going to browse through to be convinced to buy them!):

Black Diamond and Lotus flower
Ruby and Jasmine
Amethyst and Rose
Sapphire Violet

Pray tell, Lenor, exactly what does a Black Diamond smell like? What is the fragrance of a ruby? What scent wafts from a lump of amethyst? What odours does a Sapphire produce?

Because I'm sat here with an amethyst crystal and a black diamond ring and I'm inhaling away and I smell nothing. In fact, I have a legendary sense of smell (if I do say so myself) but I can sniff, snuffle and huff all over all of my jewelery and I have to conclude that, for all their sterling features, gemstones do not have a fragance.

Gah, I despair at this utter con. People KNOW that very few rocks smells. You wouldn't run around saying "aha, my bedsheets smell of granite and basalt!" "My socks now have the armoa of slate and limestone!" But common sense takes a leap out of a high window and people are actually buying this stuff that claims to smell of odourless rock. Gah I despair. I really do.

Comments

[solid-squid.livejournal.com]

Ok, the last one I could see if a sapphire violet was a particular strain of violet, but the others... yeah, pointless. All it brings to mind is that they've scented it based on the latter part of the name (lotus, jasmine & rose) then dyed it the colour of the gemstone, which is pointless.

Of course, they might be talking about the scent of the stone when you grind it up and then snort it, but I have trouble seeing them doing comparative testing on that scent to make sure it works (I don't care if the crushed diamond is shredding your nostrils, does the perfume smell like it or not? They both smell like pain now? Excellent, they match. NEXT!)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hnmmm that lovely bleeding through the nostrils fragrance!

[being-here.livejournal.com]

I take your point about the stupidity. But advertising isn't all bad. For example it give us this image:



Mmmmm. Advertising.

[harald387.livejournal.com]

Oh baby, market to me some more?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Nom nom nom nom

Damn those are some perfect cheek bones. He better come with the cologne!

[cally7.livejournal.com]

I have stated this so many times to so many people. What the hell do gemstones smell like in their natural form? Talk about gullible public. Makes me feel like they treat us like lowing cattle heading for the slaughter house sometimes. I've never bought any of those products simply because they are ridiculously titled.

They might as well say "the smell of black" or "the sound of ginger".*




*I understand about synesthesia but it is a rare occurance.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Every time I see the advert I scream "It's a rock! You don't smell ROCK!"

[kirylyn.livejournal.com]

meh, they're just trying to *impress* people with glam sounding names

what? YOU don't use BLACK DIAMOND to wash your clothes?? *nose in air* how chav of you (or something to that effect)

dunno, to me, the harder they try to impress you, the worse the product really is

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

But that's what's so depressing. People are impressed by the glam names and they KNOW that jewels don't smell! GAAAAH.

Aye, deceptive advertising makes me suspicious - I mean, if it smelled nice they wouldn't have to add a completely fictional odour surely?

[seryan.livejournal.com]

To me, they all smell like an oncoming sneeze. I buy dye- and scent-free detergent for just that reason. Anything else can go hang.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I have a truly excellent sense of smell which means i do tend to find fragranced detergents etc to be overpowering. And don't get me started on air fresheners and these new silly room perfumes. They can send me from the room gagging

[suryaofvulcan.livejournal.com]

There's a company on my patch that makes this kind of stuff - air freshener, not fabric softener. Their product development guy calls me up every now and again to ask, 'can we call it this?'. I usually reply, 'Legally, yes, but why would you want to?'

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Is this legal?

yes... but it's stupid. Very stupid. Did I mention it's stupid?


Sadly, so are the customers

[mrmeval.livejournal.com]

Black diamond aka Carbonado would smell like whatever you soaked it in since it's porous Smelly advertising sweat?

http://www.nsf.gov/news/mmg/mmg_disp.cfm?med_id=59860&from=mn

They come from Outer Space....

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm I think Smelly Advertising Sweat would be a hard sell

Alien Smelly Advertising Sweat? Yeah, there's no ad campaign to make that look good

[enigmatism75.livejournal.com]

You've missed the big question I'm afraid.

Are you scared of Becky Taylor?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Words cannot describe how much that advert annoys me

Oooh, I'm going to have a whole new rant on the subject