This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to babysit.

[sparkindarkness]

R, for some unknown reason, still seems to think that being godfather to both of her spawn makes me honour bound to not feed them into a car crusher if said spawn are left in my house. Sadly, the law frowns on the crushing of kids into nifty square packages so more constructive means of revenge are required. Usually this involves finding products full of caffeine and e-numbers, loading said little bundles of chaos up with them just before I hand them back to the parents. Thus justice is done.

Sometimes more advanced methods are needed. Thankfully there’s no shortage of evil that can be committed with a 5 year old child.


R: And what have you been doing today with Uncle Sparky?
M: We’ve been talking about when I grow up.
R: Are you going to be a vet when you grow up?
M: No, am going to be a henchman.
R: What?
M: I’m going to be uncle Sparky’s henchman when he takes over the world.
R: Really?
M: Yes. And I get to drop people in the piranha tank if Uncle Sparky don’t like them
R: Oh..
M: We drop them feet first so they can see themselves being eaten.
R: *pointed look*
Sparky: *innocent face*
M: *is demonstrating with Barbie and Nemo* nom nom nom nom

Comments

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

So pleased to see your evilness remains undiminished :)

[solid-squid.livejournal.com]

It worries me that my first reaction to reading that log wasn't "Sparky's been corrupting the youth", but rather "Sparky now understands what every kid wants from life"

Apart from the henchman part, of course, they want to be the ones who chose who gets eaten

[dontkickmycane.livejournal.com]

That's brilliant, Spark, but I fancy my five year old could teach you a thing or two.

[moondancerdrake.livejournal.com]

Yea, my son would make a fine henchmen, but my daughter has world domination plans of her own. :P

[a-roar-a.livejournal.com]

that just makes me want leave my kids with you ;op

[wenhaver.livejournal.com]

I do far more corrupting things to my kids on my own. My 3 year old does the devil horns/rock on! hand sign when she's excited about something. Because we taught her to.

And I would DIE from cuteness if my kids did the nom nom nom thing.

[ladydyani.livejournal.com]

These seem to fit:

http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20020904.html

http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20020906.html

[ladyhelen.livejournal.com]

Dude, you're my hero :) I look forward to being able to do the same with my nieces and nephews in the future... ;)

[elrohana.livejournal.com]

That brightened up my morning no end. We seem to share similar ideas of how to deal with godchildren. For ours first birthday, we bought her a drum kit *innocent look*

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Have I told you I love you lately?

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

This is why I'm so glad to be becoming a godparent :D

[cuglas.livejournal.com]

Please don't make me spit diet Coke through my nose again.

That is all.

[allthepettylies.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I'm out of pratice. I shall have to set up a routine.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Kids don't want fairies and pretty pretty pictures adn all trwee.. they're quite happy with a bit of disembowelling now and then :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It is good to see you are raising your kids in a manner I'd approve of! :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Then she can hire from within the family!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I will train up a fine addition to the coming Sparky forces!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

This? needs to be taught to kids. yes yes it does

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Experiments with kiddies are fun too - it's amazing what you can discover by warping their little minds

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Thankee, i do try :) well, more for supervillain than hero, but still

I should hope so! The world needs more warped children for the Sparky army

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Whistles! You can't go wrong with whistles!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

heeee thank ee

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It's like a toy you can play with and break then give back when you get bored with it!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

No promises :P

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

:)

[dontkickmycane.livejournal.com]

Hey, the next generation must be trained to carry the torch, no? I'm just doing my part. :p