This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to babysit.

[sparkindarkness]

R, for some unknown reason, still seems to think that being godfather to both of her spawn makes me honour bound to not feed them into a car crusher if said spawn are left in my house. Sadly, the law frowns on the crushing of kids into nifty square packages so more constructive means of revenge are required. Usually this involves finding products full of caffeine and e-numbers, loading said little bundles of chaos up with them just before I hand them back to the parents. Thus justice is done.

Sometimes more advanced methods are needed. Thankfully there’s no shortage of evil that can be committed with a 5 year old child.


R: And what have you been doing today with Uncle Sparky?
M: We’ve been talking about when I grow up.
R: Are you going to be a vet when you grow up?
M: No, am going to be a henchman.
R: What?
M: I’m going to be uncle Sparky’s henchman when he takes over the world.
R: Really?
M: Yes. And I get to drop people in the piranha tank if Uncle Sparky don’t like them
R: Oh..
M: We drop them feet first so they can see themselves being eaten.
R: *pointed look*
Sparky: *innocent face*
M: *is demonstrating with Barbie and Nemo* nom nom nom nom