It's like good advice....

You really didn't want.

This is a perennial problem with well meaning straight, cis people and, I rather think, privileged people over all marginalised people. Advice.

I often wonder why privileged people decide to give advice about being marginalised to marginalised people. It's kind of like watching a high school maths teacher correct Stephen Hawkings on his sums.

One of the recent crops of unsolicited advice we've been seeing is various people, especially in professional sports, encouraging their closeted GBLT teammates, colleagues et al to come out. And I sigh, I really do. We really really do not need advice on whether to come out or not, at least not from straight, cis people who really cannot understand what that means and the depth of the implications.

Lives are lost coming out. Literally. Families are lost. Friends are lost, careers are lost. And we can all say that those that matter will stand by you, and it's true, but reality is often harsher than such ideals and platitudes won't solve isolation, loneliness, betrayal – or protect you from violence and abandonment – or being fired for that matter. To say nothing of the very personal struggles that often precede coming out (and follow after it for that matter).

Don't get me wrong, coming out was one of the best things I ever did – but it was also one of the hardest things I ever did – and it still isn't easy and it never will be.

And it keeps happening. I think the latest is the president of the UFC (which is an extra load of foolishness, since this man is quite happy to throw around anti-gay slurs. So I suspect it's more an attempt at good PR than anything), but I've seen it multiple times in professional football, rugby, cricket and athletics. I've seen it for actors and politicians, musicians and businessmen, lawyers and doctors, police and firefighters and a million professions besides. The same tune “you should come out.”

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The skies have opened

Well I got in then the clouds opened. Thankfully I could avoid what looked like the entire North Sea dropping on us, Beloved could not. And by the drowned rat look of him he had to spend some time out in it. Then he collapsed damply all over the new sofa (the sofa! NOOOO!)

There is only one solution to this. A frying pan. Bacon, eggs, black pudding, sausages, tomato gravy, mushrooms, onions, rostis, kidney - FRY 'EM ALL and serve with bread and proper butter!



finished off when he's sure he cannot eat one more greasey mouthful, with a great big vanilla treacle duff with lashings upon lashings of custard



Screw calories, this is food for the SOOOOOUL!

Readon: 8997896 why I am Winter's Child

Don't look now... but your homophobia is showing

So this ever-so-gay friendly liberal mother would like us to know she’s totally not homophobic but objects to her children – HER CHILDREN! – seeing this billboard

Check the link. There’s the piccy

Now, what I see is 2 men who aren’t even touching leaning in for a kiss. They’re not even kissing – they’re leaning in for a kiss

The writer (gay friendly sex positive liberal mother! HONEST! SEE she even said she’s gay friendly and totally not a homophobe you guys!) describes that piccy as:

two seemingly nude guys in a liplock

*checks picture**checks description**checks picture again* I see 2 shirtless guys who are starting to kiss. Where’s this lip lock? And you can see kissing on any channel at any time of the day – whyfore is this offensive?

Oh, right, yeah the 2 men. (Totally not homophobic guys! She objects to straight people kissing as well! Yeah that’s not bullshit, that’s great steaming elephant turds)

She doesn’t know how she can possibly explain this to her children (hey, that’s what the religious right says about us being, well anywhere at all). What, this gay-friendly woman has trouble explaining why 2 men may kiss to her kids? Now why oh why oh why would that be? Does her 9 year old child not understand kissing? Has he never seen people kiss before?

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