Client sets a new record for arseholery

And he’s not even our client. But he has extra levels of arseholery.

See, this man wishes to talk to his estranged wife. His estranged with his our client and we’re very very very very clear that any contact from him comes to us not her and she doesn’t want anything to do with this toxic excuse for a human being for very very good reason.

Arsehole is not pleased about this. He is extremely vocal in his displeasure. However, shouting and screaming at lawyers to make us do stuff has never had the greatest of success rates and didn’t work especially well on my colleague either. After she gave him the patented “every second you waste ranting is costing you more money” look (even if not applicable in this case, it’s a standard look. They teach us in law school y’know) he lost his temper and tried to grab her.

Oh hell no. You did not?!

Now he’s in hospital (broken arm, cracked rib) and colleague is alternating between depression and panic. She’s panicking about being fired for beating up a client (despite senior partner #2 yelling ‘you go girl!’ and saying that she should have broke the creep’s other arm at the same time) and panicking about being arrested (police were called, naturally) and panicking about getting the firm sued and is generally not in a happy brain space. Yes, legally she knows that she’s ok, but panic brain isn’t listening to legal brain (or her fellow lawyers around her telling her it’s all ok).

So it’s rallying round, calming down, making sure colleague’s glass stays full of the good stuff and watching the CCTV recording with varying amounts of glee.

But I’m totally complaining to the SPs - they never let me hospitalise clients

(We’re also complaining about our lack of freaking security. That, at least, may be addressed)

When reality checks are sorely needed

I’m surer we’ve all seen Pat Robertson’s truly vile comments about the tragic Haiti disaster by now.

Let’s add to that by a wonderful faith group that’s going to send aid to Haiti. And by aid, they mean Bibles. Yes, Bibles. Solar powered talking Bibles, in fact.

And you have to boggle. I mean, what kind of twisted, callous sod do you have to be to look at the suffering and horror of Haiti and decide that this is a GREAT time to promote your agenda? How can you see the bodies and hear the cries and instantly turn round and think about yourself and your goals? There’s something seriously twisted about that. All I can say is, when your devotion to deity outweighs your respect for other people a reality check is needed - seriously.

And while we’re handing out reality checks, can we throw any other to the people at Trijicon, supplier of high powered rifle sites to US troops in Afghanistan and Iraq who thought it would be a good idea to inscribe coded Bible verses on these weapons. Because, y’know, Christian verses on “Jesus rifles” used to, predominantly, shoot at Muslims is REALLY a good idea. REALLY. *headdesk*

(And when did the Americans steal Martin Bashir, damn it?)

Reality check time. Because there's a limit to how much religion justifies blithering stupidity