Jan. 11th, 2010

sparkindarkness: (Default)
Say, just for example you have a minor bad habit.


Like never ever wearing shoes and, as a consequence, you get massively thick layers of hard skin on the soles of your feet that would probably let you walk on broken glass.


And say, just hypothetically, that your significant other, who loves you dearly, advises you against that bad habit or a bad thing will happen

Like telling you to wear shoes occassionally. Or at least chisseling off some of the hard skin occasionally. Or it will split and be painful.


And say, again, for the sake of argument, you completely ignore that advice and the bad thing happens.

Like said skin splitting across your heel and ball of your foot that feels like someone is stabbing your feet when you put any pressure on them


Then, as a loving and considerate significant other, your other half is required to be kind and sympathetic and not allowed to say "I told you so" at all. Right? Right?

I knew you'd agree with me.

Beloved is soooo unfair
sparkindarkness: (Default)
Oh and the Pope would like you to know that gay marriage is an attack on creation.

Attack on CREATION.

*starts to get mortally offended* *fails* I’m sorry, but I just can’t, it’s just too funny. I mean, seriously an attack on ALL CREATION?! How do you straight people even sleep at night? I mean, we’re out there THREATENING ALL CREATION! MUAHAHAH! Why aren’t you hiding under your beds cowering and whimpering? The gays are coming the gays are coming! And they’re ATTACKING CREATION!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You’re DOOOOOMED, you’re all DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

I need to practice my evil laugh more.

Added bonus is he considered this part of his ENVIRONMENTAL message! Hey, we’re POLLUTION now in the eyes of the Catholic Church. I’m totally calling global warming. But, see, it’s relevant because he’s referring to species that are endangered or under threat. You get that? We’re endangering the human race! The human species is under threat. We’re gonna drive you to extinction.

Damn why didn’t anyone TELL me we were supervillains? I don’t have a costume or a theme song or anything?! And minions! Someone get me some minions and a lair with a dubious self-destruct button and methods of executing extremely cool British spies in convoluted and implausible ways.


Now I must decide - sharks or piranha, sharks or piranha?

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