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Beloved has, in his normal sensible reaction to illness, had a small paranoid fit and is now running around assuming the germs in my body can lay low an entire continent.
This is vexing.
Worse, the NHS, in a move that I suppose is reassuring but manages to be silly at the same time has put up a nice internet questionnaire to see if people have the dreaded piggy sniffles.
You can see where this is going can't you? Yes, Beloved is convinced I have piggy sniffles and has been given a nice 2 million digit number to take to a distribution point 3 minutes away to get some anti-virals - because the questionnaire is convinced as well.
Hmmm. I'd take this more seriously if it didn't have sections like:
Does the patient have any TWO of these conditions. Then list "cough" and "snuffed nose." Yes. The patient DOES have TWO of those conditions because he has a COLD. Ok, I had 5-6 of those symptoms but they're ALL classic cold/flu symptoms. Headache, joint ache, fever, sickness - yup that be a cold it be. I think it's silly to think you can diagnose Swine Flu as opposed to ANY OTHER strain of flu or cold based on vague internet questions
I could have bird flu. Did they think about that? Hells, I could have the dreaded tapir flu (I like tarpirs. And the baby ones are like kinds of cute and have snuffly noses.) if this flu kills me, I want that on my gravestone "Tapir Flu's first victim! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA" And don't skimp on the "ha" in the MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA (see, I can be melodramatic too! :P)
And now my persistent ear infection is coming back. Bloody cold. Grrrrrr.
This is vexing.
Worse, the NHS, in a move that I suppose is reassuring but manages to be silly at the same time has put up a nice internet questionnaire to see if people have the dreaded piggy sniffles.
You can see where this is going can't you? Yes, Beloved is convinced I have piggy sniffles and has been given a nice 2 million digit number to take to a distribution point 3 minutes away to get some anti-virals - because the questionnaire is convinced as well.
Hmmm. I'd take this more seriously if it didn't have sections like:
Does the patient have any TWO of these conditions. Then list "cough" and "snuffed nose." Yes. The patient DOES have TWO of those conditions because he has a COLD. Ok, I had 5-6 of those symptoms but they're ALL classic cold/flu symptoms. Headache, joint ache, fever, sickness - yup that be a cold it be. I think it's silly to think you can diagnose Swine Flu as opposed to ANY OTHER strain of flu or cold based on vague internet questions
I could have bird flu. Did they think about that? Hells, I could have the dreaded tapir flu (I like tarpirs. And the baby ones are like kinds of cute and have snuffly noses.) if this flu kills me, I want that on my gravestone "Tapir Flu's first victim! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA" And don't skimp on the "ha" in the MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA (see, I can be melodramatic too! :P)
And now my persistent ear infection is coming back. Bloody cold. Grrrrrr.