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It's related to WoW but not really a WoW issue.
See, our guild has an odd leadership at present. The GM, for various reasons, logs on once a month, if that. After much wrangling the guild is actually run by the three officers: S, L and I (errr, letter initials make it hard - by I, I mean ME). Of the three S and I do most of the guild running (promotions, demotions, raiding etc) while L, the tech wizard, sorts out vent, forum access etc but isn't too active in game. There are then a few Deputies who hold the fort and handle various issues, lead the odd raid etc, but most of the admin and running falls into S's and my hands.
Our guild is friendly, non-hardcore, 90% pve, but nothing forced and no quotas or demands or anything. Generally casual and not needing much screaming and emo-ness. Dictates from on high are not the order of the day nor are much chewing out and drill sergeanting. It's just not the way we are. Of course you have to ask people to do stuff sometimes - like can you please be quiet on vent while we explain the tactics, the loot is going here because of the following rules, we're going to organise this raid today, no you didn't get in the raid because X number of people signed before you and you're not a speshul speshul snowflake who should get ultra priority. No, we can't go to that raid today because we don't have a tank and can't pull one out of our arses (though it would be a nice feat *STRRRRRAAAAIN* oh look! A Dwarf Warrior! Thank gods it wasn't a Draenei!)
Generally this goes fine. I say "look it's like this..." people listen, say ok, grumble a little then say ok.
Now here's the problem. That is how 99% of the guild react to me 80% of the time. But not everyone does the same with S. In fact S gets twice the grief with people bitching and moaning and, more often, ignoring S constantly. In short (and to sound much more hardcore than we actually are) they give S no respect despite the huge amount of work S puts in to the guild. L gets more respect and he's hardly online, let alone matches what she does. So does C, S's closest DEPUTY.
Why is this? Well, I can't say for certain, but here's a possible hint - S is a woman. L and C (and obviously me) are men. It's the only thing I can think of because she gets the same treatement from most the other members of the guild as I do - just these odd individuals. Which leaves us witha question of what to do.
Personally I'd slap down or kick them - but S doesn't want to kick them because they are GENERALLY good people, good players and generally good fun - so long as S doesn't want them to do anything.
As to slap down... well, I want to smack them about and tell them S deserves better and when they pull shit like this where I can see it I want to ride in and ask what the problem is and why are the giving her so much grief.... but how can I? I mean, I want they shouldn't give her grief and they should respect her because she works hard for the guild, she puts in the effort, she's smart and clever and a damn good leader and an officer an generally deserves it. They shouldn't respect her because Sparky, a man, has told them they have to.
Which is the problem. If I go in their haddocks swinging, Equally Large Python (heeee) trained to kill and Hounds a-growling then even if they do behave and stop giving S a hard time it will be because I have said so, not because it is what she is due.
So how does a man intervene to make other man give a woman the respect she deserves WITHOUT that respect only stemming from the man's intervention?
See, our guild has an odd leadership at present. The GM, for various reasons, logs on once a month, if that. After much wrangling the guild is actually run by the three officers: S, L and I (errr, letter initials make it hard - by I, I mean ME). Of the three S and I do most of the guild running (promotions, demotions, raiding etc) while L, the tech wizard, sorts out vent, forum access etc but isn't too active in game. There are then a few Deputies who hold the fort and handle various issues, lead the odd raid etc, but most of the admin and running falls into S's and my hands.
Our guild is friendly, non-hardcore, 90% pve, but nothing forced and no quotas or demands or anything. Generally casual and not needing much screaming and emo-ness. Dictates from on high are not the order of the day nor are much chewing out and drill sergeanting. It's just not the way we are. Of course you have to ask people to do stuff sometimes - like can you please be quiet on vent while we explain the tactics, the loot is going here because of the following rules, we're going to organise this raid today, no you didn't get in the raid because X number of people signed before you and you're not a speshul speshul snowflake who should get ultra priority. No, we can't go to that raid today because we don't have a tank and can't pull one out of our arses (though it would be a nice feat *STRRRRRAAAAIN* oh look! A Dwarf Warrior! Thank gods it wasn't a Draenei!)
Generally this goes fine. I say "look it's like this..." people listen, say ok, grumble a little then say ok.
Now here's the problem. That is how 99% of the guild react to me 80% of the time. But not everyone does the same with S. In fact S gets twice the grief with people bitching and moaning and, more often, ignoring S constantly. In short (and to sound much more hardcore than we actually are) they give S no respect despite the huge amount of work S puts in to the guild. L gets more respect and he's hardly online, let alone matches what she does. So does C, S's closest DEPUTY.
Why is this? Well, I can't say for certain, but here's a possible hint - S is a woman. L and C (and obviously me) are men. It's the only thing I can think of because she gets the same treatement from most the other members of the guild as I do - just these odd individuals. Which leaves us witha question of what to do.
Personally I'd slap down or kick them - but S doesn't want to kick them because they are GENERALLY good people, good players and generally good fun - so long as S doesn't want them to do anything.
As to slap down... well, I want to smack them about and tell them S deserves better and when they pull shit like this where I can see it I want to ride in and ask what the problem is and why are the giving her so much grief.... but how can I? I mean, I want they shouldn't give her grief and they should respect her because she works hard for the guild, she puts in the effort, she's smart and clever and a damn good leader and an officer an generally deserves it. They shouldn't respect her because Sparky, a man, has told them they have to.
Which is the problem. If I go in their haddocks swinging, Equally Large Python (heeee) trained to kill and Hounds a-growling then even if they do behave and stop giving S a hard time it will be because I have said so, not because it is what she is due.
So how does a man intervene to make other man give a woman the respect she deserves WITHOUT that respect only stemming from the man's intervention?