I do so love messing with people's brains

Brother: What's this? *holds up plastic item*
Me: Where did you find it?
Brother: I was looking for a pair of shoes to borrow and I found it in your wardrobe (WHY I don't know since he has feet like baby elephants)
Me: So... you went through the private cupboards of your gay brother. Do you really want me to tell you what that's for?
Brother: Ick! *drops* Don't want to know, don't want to know *flees with hands over ears*

Beloved: *picks it up* It's a shoe-horn isn't it?
Me: Yes, but this is much more fun
Beloved: That's evil
Me: Oh yes.