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But very tempting at the moment.
See, I have one living grandparent - Nana. People who have seen my old journal are probably already grinning, giggling or rolling their eyes. Yes. THAT Nana.
She is 89. She is 90% blind (macular degeneration, but it doesn't stop her going to the opticians every month and DEMANDING he give her miracle classes) and 80% deaf (and she WILL NOT wear her hearing aids, oh no). She 10,000,000% UTTERLY INSANE. Senility has not only caught up with her but is currently lapping her several times in long merry trips to la-la land.
She is physically very capable. She is flexible, limber, can walk around easily and is largely free from the aches and pains of the elderly. But she is not strong - her stamina wears out quickly because she is 89 years old.
Some years ago now she decided to walk to a shop and bring home a big stack of spuds. Unsurprisingly, she fell. In the aftermath she promised us she would not go out without someone accomapnying her (blind, deaf, crazy and weak? Just not a good idea). My dad goes to see her every day. My great uncle goes every day. My great uncle's daughter goes 4 times a week. My mum goes twice a week. I see her twice a week. My brother goes once every blue moon. She spends the best part of her life on the phone with one of us. She goes out at least once a day and gets all her shopping done (by people who can SEE that, no, that's motor oil - you want tea) and a little walk to see all her cronies on the local shopping street (she worked in a shop for 35 years. She has a lot of cronies. And, while most of them are dead, that doesn't stop her randomly collaring strangers and talking to them as if they are her cronies).
So, yesterday morning my great uncle took her out for 2 hours. In the afternoon my dad took her out for 2 hours. She saw cronies. She bought her shopping and came home. THEN to PROVE SHE COULD STILL DO IT AND THAT SHE WASN'T OLD she decided to go out again. On her own. Despite her promise. Despite her incapacity. Despite the fact she had alread been taken out twice by the family that day.
And she fell. According to the neighbour who saw her, she didn't trip or stumble, just fell. Collapsed. She had barely reached the shopping road she visits.
Thankfully she's ok, but a little shaken (she has been extremely lucky), we're keeping her with constant company for a few days until we're sure she's ok (Will she go to doctors? Nooooo, because that would be SANE). While doing so the family is looking after her, telling her what a suilly old biddy she is, guilting her over the broken promise (because the family takes promises seriously, and Nana is a master of using guilt as a weapon so sweet sweet sweet revenge time) and securing contracts written in blood that she will not do it again.
So the Sparky is going to be distracted a little while until we are sure Nana is back and safe or until we strangle her.
See, I have one living grandparent - Nana. People who have seen my old journal are probably already grinning, giggling or rolling their eyes. Yes. THAT Nana.
She is 89. She is 90% blind (macular degeneration, but it doesn't stop her going to the opticians every month and DEMANDING he give her miracle classes) and 80% deaf (and she WILL NOT wear her hearing aids, oh no). She 10,000,000% UTTERLY INSANE. Senility has not only caught up with her but is currently lapping her several times in long merry trips to la-la land.
She is physically very capable. She is flexible, limber, can walk around easily and is largely free from the aches and pains of the elderly. But she is not strong - her stamina wears out quickly because she is 89 years old.
Some years ago now she decided to walk to a shop and bring home a big stack of spuds. Unsurprisingly, she fell. In the aftermath she promised us she would not go out without someone accomapnying her (blind, deaf, crazy and weak? Just not a good idea). My dad goes to see her every day. My great uncle goes every day. My great uncle's daughter goes 4 times a week. My mum goes twice a week. I see her twice a week. My brother goes once every blue moon. She spends the best part of her life on the phone with one of us. She goes out at least once a day and gets all her shopping done (by people who can SEE that, no, that's motor oil - you want tea) and a little walk to see all her cronies on the local shopping street (she worked in a shop for 35 years. She has a lot of cronies. And, while most of them are dead, that doesn't stop her randomly collaring strangers and talking to them as if they are her cronies).
So, yesterday morning my great uncle took her out for 2 hours. In the afternoon my dad took her out for 2 hours. She saw cronies. She bought her shopping and came home. THEN to PROVE SHE COULD STILL DO IT AND THAT SHE WASN'T OLD she decided to go out again. On her own. Despite her promise. Despite her incapacity. Despite the fact she had alread been taken out twice by the family that day.
And she fell. According to the neighbour who saw her, she didn't trip or stumble, just fell. Collapsed. She had barely reached the shopping road she visits.
Thankfully she's ok, but a little shaken (she has been extremely lucky), we're keeping her with constant company for a few days until we're sure she's ok (Will she go to doctors? Nooooo, because that would be SANE). While doing so the family is looking after her, telling her what a suilly old biddy she is, guilting her over the broken promise (because the family takes promises seriously, and Nana is a master of using guilt as a weapon so sweet sweet sweet revenge time) and securing contracts written in blood that she will not do it again.
So the Sparky is going to be distracted a little while until we are sure Nana is back and safe or until we strangle her.