We are calling a priest

For reasons unknown beloved's sister has sent us a CD.

This CD is called "The best of 70s Disco".

Admittedly coherent thought took a while to return after the panic attack but we're trying to decide why she would do this to us.

As far as we are aware, she has no reason to kill us, so this being an assassination attempt/attempt to scar our minds for life seems unlikely. Besides, the use of bad 70s music in warfare has been banned by international treaty along nuclear weapons, sarin gas, Margaret Thatcher and small oozy children.

We have had to come to the painful conclusion that it may just be possible that she... LIKES this music and wished to share it with us?


Fear not good people, we will not leave her in the devil's grasp! We have called a priest, 3 nuns and have ordered a whole lot of ear muffs! She will be exorcised of this evil. *thunder clap* And may god have mercy on her soul.

I hate summer

Sounds weird, right? Everyone hates a season but it's never SUMMER. Everyone loves summer.

And sure, there are fringe benefits to summer. Guys are walking round without shirts, people are generally more cheerful and there's much less chance of getting wet or the evils of SNOW (vile monsters)

But the negatives outweigh it - there's too much damn light and it's too damn hot. I'm getting headaches from all the sunshine, beloved is suffering from severe mutation (or possibly hayfever) and it's so HOT. I hate being too hot. I'm sweating in my best clothes, my suit is evil. I look GOOD in many layers of black and long sleeved shirts and trousers and long coats. That's my look. It works for me. I look like a kid in t-shirts and shorts or short sleeves. It doesn't look BAD (not if the t-shirt is fitted anyway) but it's not great.

And I hate sweating. I feel dirty all the time and not in a good way. Going to the gym goes from being a minor annoyance to INFERNAL TORTURE OF THE LOWER CIRCLES OF HELL!!!

But the worst thing - the WORST thing - is the British attitude to Summer. We're all so AWED that we got actual SUN! Everyone's running around OMG WE HAVE SUN AND HEAT!!!! Which means everyone goes crazy trying desperately to make the most of it like the sun will go out tomorrow. There are so many barbeques around that we're getting smog.

And no-one makes allowances for the heat. Everyone acts SURPRISED "wow, isn't it hot. I never expected it to be this hot." Why? It was hot last year and the year before and the year before. it's ALWAYS hot in summer. I don't know if it's climate change or whatever but the years of endless rain and fog are OVER. Deal with it and get some fans!

Yes, that's what annoys me - the British DENIAL of heat. Every hot day is considered a freak even when it's the norm so we do NOTHING to prepare for the heat.

So to conclude. I hate summer. I'd move to Australia but it's full of poisonous things and it's probably still bloody hot down there.

And now...

...we have the STORM!

I'm going out to dance in it