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sparkindarknessI imagine everyone's read it by now, but in case you haven't, here Bush opens mouth, world winces
Just make sure you have a bucket ready.
People have already said, far more eloquently than I ever could, how horribly unjust and bigoted this whole "declaration" is. No, I'm going to counter another argument - "why is marriage important?" why does it matter so much?
Well, even putting aside all the liberal issues, the want, need to be able to say to the world "this person is mine and I am his/hers!" even putting aside the stigmatism being unable to have our unions legitimised, there are some hard and fast practical, legal issues.
I'm a law student. Alright, I'm in England, and what I say may not apply to America (though I doubt it will diverge over much, and if it does not likely to be on the side of tolerance. If it does - well, give Bush and Ashcroft time.) Anyway, I study the law, I've done this for 4 years now, I am a solicitor, qualified to act as such. And believe me marriage COUNTS.
Here’s four (of many) examples (this post is getting long).
First: Tax. So mundane, so boring, but when marriage can mean thousands of pounds of tax reduction, it tends to wake people up. Scenario, Mr. Big pays higher rate tax. He tries to sell something/acquire more income etc he gets taxed at 40%. His wife Mrs. Big, is a housewife. She is not a higher rate tax payer (she has little income). Property can pass between spouses with minimal difficulty, and less tax. Now Mr. Big's nice juicy dividends, taxed at 32.5% for him, will be taxed at 10% for her. That nice high interest savings account (transferred to her name) is taxed at 40% for him. But wow, Mrs Big may only have to pay 20%. Guess what? Only married people can play. And this is BEFORE looking at any tax relief's for married couples.
Second: Property. When a married couple lives in a house, both have the right, protected by law, to occupy it, regardless of whether only one side has paid for it, regardless of whose name it’s in. If the house is given away, sold, hell, even repossessed in some circumstances! THAT SPOUSE’S RIGHT IS PROTECTED AND ONLY A COURT CAN OVERRIDE IT, and VERY rarely are willing to. When writing a property contract to sell a house the spouse has to enter a contract promising to leave, and if he/she doesn’t give? It doesn’t sell. Or the new owners have to put up with a none-paying lodger or an unpleasant court battle. A none-married couple?
Pack your bags love the gutter’s that way.
Third: Inheritance. When someone dies, they’re taxed. BIG. Buuuuut... anything left to the spouse is exempt from tax. 100%, zip, nada, nothing. But, you guessed it, a none married couple can’t claim. Hell, if your lover dies intestate (without a will) you can expect a visit from relatives asking you to get out of your home if the deceased owned it. A gay partner has no right to any of his lovers property, no matter how long they lived together. Yup, that gay couple who have loved, lived and adored each other for 20 years can find that in the court’s great aunt Marge from Australia whose never actually seen either of them ever has more rights over their partner’s property than they do. Of course you could put everything in joint name... but you still pay tax. It goes without saying that, unless expressly stated in a will, you can’t act as executor to your partner’s estate either. Of course a Spouse is always first in line for administrating the estate. You’re not even considered. Yup, not only is Aunt Marge going to get it all, but it’s SHE who tabulates what your partner had and organises the sale/disposal/distribution of it all... and probably the funeral. If Aunt Marge is homophobic that’s soooo not going to help the grieving process.
Fourth: Medicine. I can’t stress this one enough, take it from someone who knows; this one hurts.
A scenario: your lover has just had a bad car accident. They’re badly injured, covered in blood, unconscious. They're rushed to hospital, numerous emergency procedures are applied as the doctors fight desperately to save your beloved. You wait anxiously in the waiting room, sick with worry.
The doctor comes out. You run to him, begging to know how your partner is. And he says....
...“are you a relative?” And, because you can’t marry, you aren’t. And you get told shit. You sit in that waiting room not knowing whether your life partner will live or die, what their chances are, how badly they’re hurt. Nothing. You’re even just an afterthought if they die or wake up. Try to picture that for a minute, that wait, with NOTHING. No reassurance. No knowledge. No information. None of the wonderful spousal comfort policies. Nothing.
And a side note applicable to all sexualities: marriage is so wonderful and divorce is terrible? Really? Divorce rate spiralling is deplorable? Hmmmm, sorry my jury’s out. This isn;t substantiated by facts or statistics, and doubtless some of the “breakdown in moral fibre” *gag* does apply. But why have divorce rates sky rocketed?
Well, take a trip back to the 40s and 50s, when it is just “Not done” to divorce.
That means Mrs. Battered Wife pops another pain killer, adds some make up and stays at home.
That means Mr. and Mrs. Married Too Young stay together despite week after month after year of ever increasing hatred, frustration and hostility.
Mr. and Mrs Mistake realise that they should never have married but grit their teeth and endure through year after agonising year, trapped for eternity in a marriage with someone they hate.
And what about Mr. and Mrs. Change? Well, see, they’ve grown a little older, their wants and needs out of life are different now. They have new, conflicting dreams and ideas, and what was once great in the other now seems like hell. I’m afraid they’ll just bury their dreams, kill their needs and move on in their unwanted lives.
Lets not forget Mr. Loves Another. He will bury himself in self-hatred, hatred of his wife and frustration, hey, maybe we’ll have an affair that destroys everyone involved instead.
Of course, there’s the old favourite, Johnny Daddy Knocked Mummy Up And Had To Get Married. Well, that’s a nice foundation for love and stability (hey it can be sometimes). He has two parents who, if it were a one night stand, didn’t even know each other before the big day. Awww, isn’t it romantic?
And the children who we all know do so much better with two parents? Really? Even when daddy reaches for another bottle, and mummy pops another pill to make life bearable. Where mummy screams her frustration and daddy beats out his rage? Hatred and hostility at the breakfast table, fights and screaming for dinner, and smouldering resentment all the time. Maybe daddy will throttle mummy, maybe she’ll hit him with the iron, maybe both of them will take one drink too many, one pill more than they should. Maybe they’ll do it on purpose. At least it’s better than the daemon divorce.
Sometimes divorce is people giving up to easily and too early. Yes some things are definitely worth fighting for. But sometimes divorce is an escape from torturous bondage, the only path to freedom.
Is it such a bad thing that people are more willing to walk that path now than cower, miserable, in their chains?
Just make sure you have a bucket ready.
People have already said, far more eloquently than I ever could, how horribly unjust and bigoted this whole "declaration" is. No, I'm going to counter another argument - "why is marriage important?" why does it matter so much?
Well, even putting aside all the liberal issues, the want, need to be able to say to the world "this person is mine and I am his/hers!" even putting aside the stigmatism being unable to have our unions legitimised, there are some hard and fast practical, legal issues.
I'm a law student. Alright, I'm in England, and what I say may not apply to America (though I doubt it will diverge over much, and if it does not likely to be on the side of tolerance. If it does - well, give Bush and Ashcroft time.) Anyway, I study the law, I've done this for 4 years now, I am a solicitor, qualified to act as such. And believe me marriage COUNTS.
Here’s four (of many) examples (this post is getting long).
First: Tax. So mundane, so boring, but when marriage can mean thousands of pounds of tax reduction, it tends to wake people up. Scenario, Mr. Big pays higher rate tax. He tries to sell something/acquire more income etc he gets taxed at 40%. His wife Mrs. Big, is a housewife. She is not a higher rate tax payer (she has little income). Property can pass between spouses with minimal difficulty, and less tax. Now Mr. Big's nice juicy dividends, taxed at 32.5% for him, will be taxed at 10% for her. That nice high interest savings account (transferred to her name) is taxed at 40% for him. But wow, Mrs Big may only have to pay 20%. Guess what? Only married people can play. And this is BEFORE looking at any tax relief's for married couples.
Second: Property. When a married couple lives in a house, both have the right, protected by law, to occupy it, regardless of whether only one side has paid for it, regardless of whose name it’s in. If the house is given away, sold, hell, even repossessed in some circumstances! THAT SPOUSE’S RIGHT IS PROTECTED AND ONLY A COURT CAN OVERRIDE IT, and VERY rarely are willing to. When writing a property contract to sell a house the spouse has to enter a contract promising to leave, and if he/she doesn’t give? It doesn’t sell. Or the new owners have to put up with a none-paying lodger or an unpleasant court battle. A none-married couple?
Pack your bags love the gutter’s that way.
Third: Inheritance. When someone dies, they’re taxed. BIG. Buuuuut... anything left to the spouse is exempt from tax. 100%, zip, nada, nothing. But, you guessed it, a none married couple can’t claim. Hell, if your lover dies intestate (without a will) you can expect a visit from relatives asking you to get out of your home if the deceased owned it. A gay partner has no right to any of his lovers property, no matter how long they lived together. Yup, that gay couple who have loved, lived and adored each other for 20 years can find that in the court’s great aunt Marge from Australia whose never actually seen either of them ever has more rights over their partner’s property than they do. Of course you could put everything in joint name... but you still pay tax. It goes without saying that, unless expressly stated in a will, you can’t act as executor to your partner’s estate either. Of course a Spouse is always first in line for administrating the estate. You’re not even considered. Yup, not only is Aunt Marge going to get it all, but it’s SHE who tabulates what your partner had and organises the sale/disposal/distribution of it all... and probably the funeral. If Aunt Marge is homophobic that’s soooo not going to help the grieving process.
Fourth: Medicine. I can’t stress this one enough, take it from someone who knows; this one hurts.
A scenario: your lover has just had a bad car accident. They’re badly injured, covered in blood, unconscious. They're rushed to hospital, numerous emergency procedures are applied as the doctors fight desperately to save your beloved. You wait anxiously in the waiting room, sick with worry.
The doctor comes out. You run to him, begging to know how your partner is. And he says....
...“are you a relative?” And, because you can’t marry, you aren’t. And you get told shit. You sit in that waiting room not knowing whether your life partner will live or die, what their chances are, how badly they’re hurt. Nothing. You’re even just an afterthought if they die or wake up. Try to picture that for a minute, that wait, with NOTHING. No reassurance. No knowledge. No information. None of the wonderful spousal comfort policies. Nothing.
And a side note applicable to all sexualities: marriage is so wonderful and divorce is terrible? Really? Divorce rate spiralling is deplorable? Hmmmm, sorry my jury’s out. This isn;t substantiated by facts or statistics, and doubtless some of the “breakdown in moral fibre” *gag* does apply. But why have divorce rates sky rocketed?
Well, take a trip back to the 40s and 50s, when it is just “Not done” to divorce.
That means Mrs. Battered Wife pops another pain killer, adds some make up and stays at home.
That means Mr. and Mrs. Married Too Young stay together despite week after month after year of ever increasing hatred, frustration and hostility.
Mr. and Mrs Mistake realise that they should never have married but grit their teeth and endure through year after agonising year, trapped for eternity in a marriage with someone they hate.
And what about Mr. and Mrs. Change? Well, see, they’ve grown a little older, their wants and needs out of life are different now. They have new, conflicting dreams and ideas, and what was once great in the other now seems like hell. I’m afraid they’ll just bury their dreams, kill their needs and move on in their unwanted lives.
Lets not forget Mr. Loves Another. He will bury himself in self-hatred, hatred of his wife and frustration, hey, maybe we’ll have an affair that destroys everyone involved instead.
Of course, there’s the old favourite, Johnny Daddy Knocked Mummy Up And Had To Get Married. Well, that’s a nice foundation for love and stability (hey it can be sometimes). He has two parents who, if it were a one night stand, didn’t even know each other before the big day. Awww, isn’t it romantic?
And the children who we all know do so much better with two parents? Really? Even when daddy reaches for another bottle, and mummy pops another pill to make life bearable. Where mummy screams her frustration and daddy beats out his rage? Hatred and hostility at the breakfast table, fights and screaming for dinner, and smouldering resentment all the time. Maybe daddy will throttle mummy, maybe she’ll hit him with the iron, maybe both of them will take one drink too many, one pill more than they should. Maybe they’ll do it on purpose. At least it’s better than the daemon divorce.
Sometimes divorce is people giving up to easily and too early. Yes some things are definitely worth fighting for. But sometimes divorce is an escape from torturous bondage, the only path to freedom.
Is it such a bad thing that people are more willing to walk that path now than cower, miserable, in their chains?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-07 10:38 pm (UTC)Very well put.
*bow*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-07 10:39 pm (UTC)*face/palm*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-08 03:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-08 04:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-08 05:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-08 03:48 pm (UTC)