A Tale of 2 Kitties #2

[sparkindarkness]

The setting: 4:00am. All is quiet. All is dark.

Socks: The Humans are Sleeping. This is most inconsiderate of them. YOOOOWL
Human: *snore*
Socks: *ahem* YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL
Humans: *groan*
Socks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWLLLLL I can keep this up all night if I have to, I'm not tired. YOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWL
Me: The cat wants something
Beloved: *snores most pointedly*
Socks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLL
Me: Go see what that cat wants *poke*
Beloved: *snores yet louder*
Socks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLL
Me: I KNOW you're not asleep
Beloved: *continues to snore most unconvingly*
Socks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLL
Me: It's a damn good thing we don't have kids. *grabs dressing gown and stumps downstairs*
Mia: *sees loose dressing gown belt* OMG THE HUMANS ARE UP AND HAVE KITTY TOYS!!!!
Socks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Mia: *POUNCE*
Me:*Desperately grabs bannister at the top of the stairs in the pitch black landing as small savage monster attacks feet* ARGH! Something tried to kill me!
Beloved: *snooooreee*
Brother mine: *SNOOOORE*
Me: it's ok, I'm just being MURDERED by a midnight intruder into our HOME, wouldn't like to BOTHER ANYONE!
Beloved: *snoooore*
Brother mine: *snoooore*
Socks: YOWLLLL
Mia: *ties dressing gown belt to bannister* play play play play play!
Me: *tries to descend stairs, is nearly throttled by dressing gown as belt pulls tight* URK! *AGAIN stops self plummeting down stairs and disentangles dressing gown*
Mia: PLAY PLAY PLAY! OMG THIS IS SOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!
Me: *carefully navigates dark staircase with ball of hyperactive fur running around feet*
Socks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLL Faster human!
Me: *fills dish with revolting mush known as cat food* There
Socks: *stares at food* Good, I have successfully trained my human to come when called. You will be faster next time. *wanders off, leaving food untouched*
Me: {Insert words better left to the imagination}
Mia: PLAY! *takes opportunity to set up a trip wire with belt and jam the end under the kitchen door*
Me: *nearly falls*
Mia: HEEEEE!!!!!! *runs thundering up the stairs*
Me: YOU BETTER RUN! *leaves dressing gown on kitchen floor, damn it, and returns to bed*
Socks: *pointedly laying on MY side of the bed* Yes?
Beloved: *snores*
.
.
.
.

Remind me again why I'm a cat person?

Comments

[tinimaus.livejournal.com]

... at least my babies stayed in their cots at night. :-p

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Because with all that you didn't have to curse your way into shoes and clothing and take someone walkies. And then have someone else want to go walkies too because it's just not fair. And then have both of them beat you upstairs to claim your side of the bed.

[klgaffney.livejournal.com]

*dead*

Remind me again why I'm a cat person?

'cause cats PWN the world. *solemn* and they're smart enough not to advertise this (and to pretend not to grasp english), so nobody knows to complain to them when the universe goes screwy.

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

Remind me again why I'm a cat person?

because they're funnier than dogs and so are you?

Why doesn't Mia's human get up in the middle of the night? If it were me, he would be finding cat-shaped drop bombs landing on him as he sleeps!

[elrohana.livejournal.com]

My moggies generally wake the dog up as well, so not only do I get the dressing gown cord thing, the tripping me up on the stairs thing, and the feed me now thing, I also get the please let me in the garden for a pee thing. And yes, my Beloved also snores his way through the whole thing.

I feel your pain.

[semiotic-pirate.livejournal.com]

I thinks Socks and Foofus are colluding and were trained at the same Cat-Terror Camps... Foofus has CoB trained pretty well in a similar manner.

I tried to tell him (CoB) to just open the door to the bedroom, (the one being Yowled before) spray him in the face with the water bottle, and then shut the door again and get back into bed.

Cats are the true rulers of our world.

Right, right.

[semiotic-pirate.livejournal.com]

Death from above!

*maniacal laughter*

[amynnah.livejournal.com]

*dead*

Why are you a cat person? Hmmm... because birds are only noisy at dawn and dusk, but when they're noisy, it's like a train wreck in your living room... and dogs are just an elephant load of goof stuffed into a dog-sized package (and if they're more than 20 pounds, they can leave elephant-sized doo doos all over your yard, and various other places).

....fish?

[allthepettylies.livejournal.com]

WIN.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I will make cages. yes yes I will

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

This is true. Very very true, this is why I could never ever own a dog

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

We are all owned. It is known. They let us take the blame

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Heee, I r as funny as a cat! CRAZINESS!

because Mia's human sleeps very very very very deeply, just like our father. Grrrr

I'd love to use Mia as a missle, but she is too fast to catch!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

See, a dog as well? That would drive me maaaad. Because then I'd have to go outside as well

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

They have to be trained. They're too good and organised for them not to be

Mia likes the water spray. yes yes she does. This is just so very wrong

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I've got two. Or rather, they've got me. I wouldn't give them up, but there are times I'm wonderfully glad that I've got a teenaged minion son who will take them outside.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

My aunt had a bird. Damn that was a noisy creature. She used to cover it's cage - would never work unless said cover was sound proof and preferably didn't let in air (and, tbh, I never like the idea of caged birds).

Dogs require too much taking them outside in cold and rain *shiver*

Fish smell. And you can't hug a fish

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

thankeee

[amynnah.livejournal.com]

Bird might not have gotten enough attention... they scream like that when they're "neglected" (open for debate on that one... some species are needier than others, and if you're not petting them 24/7/365, they get pissy). It could've been other things too... birds have rather complex personalities and can act like a spoiled 2 year old who's not getting their way.

Mine only went in their cages to sleep, throw temper tantrums, and other wise be childish little featherheads. If I accidently stepped on Luck's tail (how could I miss it! It was 2.5 feet long and she was apt to keep it around my feet!), she would make the macaw growl/snarl, turn, affronted, and stomp her feet all the way back to her cage, then slam it closed behind her. Then I would hear the wonderful sounds of cloth tearing (I gave her my "old" t-shirts... by which I mean she would chew holes in them and claim them) as she would take her pissiness out on said shirt.

Sammy was better behaved. Mostly. He was Theodore to Luck's Alvin.