You'd think I'd know better

[sparkindarkness]

Than to let my brother house sit.

Spent a few days having a relaxing little holiday type thing (actually more an escapism than anything else as we went to be AWAY rather than go to somewhere) and I'm feeling much more charged. Soemtimes you need to get out from the same 4 walls and away from the same people you see everyday


But letting my brother house-sit. See, brother has a talent. He was a born viking. If he were raiding and pillaging a village he'd be in, out and fully loaded in an hour and have more loot than any of his fellows who spend all day about it. He can visit you briefly on his way to work and your cupboards look like you've just been raided by Huns. HUNGRY Huns. The Mongols left more in their wake.

So we're living on take away for the next few days until we can be bothered to shop.

AND he destroyed the interior my car - damn it, how does our family produce me of a reasonable, sensible height and him, the lurching monster? Dwarfs and jolly green giants shouldn't share the same gene pool. AND he's killed my plant - it's a CACTUS how can anyone not see that it's a cactus? It doesn't need daily watering, that's the whole POINT of a cactus - it's a plant you can just leave in a corner and not faff with.

*grumbles some more*

Comments

[zero_pixel_count]

"...The Mongols left more in their wake...." - like, f'rexample, my ancestors? :P

...your cactus may yet survive if you dry it out? I'm fairly sure they're meant to also be able to cope with rainy seasons...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

See? They left plenty in their wake! My brother would have EATEN them.

*pokes cactus* I hope so, but I don't think so. He has officially failed at botany. he killed a cactus. The most lethal deserts in the world can't kill a cactus. He's not to be trusted with anything beyond a pet rock

[zero_pixel_count]

Oh, no, they left 'em behind in the *other* sense that marauding armies leave people behind. My grandmother is descended from Mongols who settled in Appenzell. This explains a lot about her...

Are you sure about the rock? You may want to check there is nothing breakable in the area...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaaah, well if he leaves anything of that nature behind I fear we will have to cook and eat it. Yum.


Hmmm... maybe a pet sponge?

[zero_pixel_count]

...riiiight...

...it might go mouldy?

[phurie-dae.livejournal.com]

HOW can somebody kill a cactus? I'm dumbfounded. I've kept cactii alive. You can ignore them for months and months and they just tough it out! It's the best thing about them.

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

*raises hand*

I've killed cacti - by both over and under watering. It's a talent....

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

He has talents. he could kill a rock

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

He killed a cactus in four days?

You should rent him out to Monsanto. Clearly all the charming, polite, nurturing genes went to his sibling :)

But it's nice to know that in the event of another Viking invasion, you do have your own built-in defense mechanism!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I posit the theory that we are actually children of deities. I have the powers of the gods of lifde (coolness and dress sense included of course). He? Is a marauding war and death deity.

I have examined it and decided this is the only explanation. Yes, yes it is.


See, in the event of a viking invasion i was going to lock up all the stuff away from the pillagin' (probably using the Swiss) and deal with the rapin' in a... creative fashion.