PSA to telemarketers

[sparkindarkness]

The reason I politely interrupt you when you go into a long spiel is to help you. Seriously, I can pretend to listen to you and play WoW/type/play kinky games with Beloved at the same time. I do it all the time. No skin off my nose if you’re babbling on about a mobile phone or why I should get a conservatory (a second one, I might add) or how new fascias would be a dramatic improvement to my life (I don’t even know what fascias ARE, so I’m pretty confident their age is not something that concerns me).

I interrupt you because I know I will not buy from you. Ever. I buy from companies I know after I have checked them out. You are completely wasting your time talking to me. I am trying to end this call as soon as possible to reduce that wasted time and give you a chance to make some money with someone whose life will truly be transformed by fascianess, new double glazing or a great big stoinking loan. Keeping me on the phone will not only NOT get you a sale or meet that person whose life is truly desolate because of elderly fascias, but it will also annoy me to the extent I will AVOID your company in future.

Do yourself and your employer a favour and take the hint.

Comments

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

The reason I politely interrupt you when you go into a long spiel is to help you.

Oh, my poor, misguided Sparky. You've obviously never worked in a phone room; you're not helping them.

Logically, you'd think you are. You interrupt, get them off your phone, get them onto the next call. Right?

Not unless things have changed drastically since I was a supervisor at a company that also did telemarketing.

Getting them off the phone quickly screws with their call time stats, which are kept by the computer. Any telemarketer with too many short calls (either hang ups or quick 'no thank yous') will be written up or terminated depending on how their sales statistics stack up.

Long calls, in which they're at least allowed to deliver the whole script are good for them.

I don't know if they have this in the UK, but in America we have a federally operated Do Not Call list which I signed up for about ten seconds after it became operational, then again a day later just to make bloody damn sure telemarketers would not call. This doesn't cover companies with whom I have accounts or with whom I've previously done business or political campaigns or opinion surveys, but it sure as hell cuts down on cold calls.

You likely can ask to speak to a supervisor. If your telemarketer works from home you may be given a different number to call. In America all telemarketing companies must have their own DNC lists which you can get onto only by speaking to a supervisor. Some companies encourage their employees to bluster and bullshit to keep people from getting to the supervisor and this for me is fun. I know the bleepin' rules; I used to have to enforce them.

Anyway...cutting the call short doesn't help the telemarketer a damn bit. Sorry.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

But that's so very very silly. I mean, why do the companies WANT long calls if the person listening to the spiel will not buy? I mean, they're paying someone (and the phone bill) to do nothing more than irritate me *is confused* *sporks companies*

We have a Do not call list... it is of.... dubious utility. Either that opr Beloved hasn't signed us up despite saying he would

See, I don't really want to go to a supervisor or anything - I don't have anything against the poor wage slave who probably gets more abuse in a day than most people get in a week - I just don't see the point in wasting both our time

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

We have a Do not call list... it is of.... dubious utility. Either that opr Beloved hasn't signed us up despite saying he would

See, I don't really want to go to a supervisor or anything - I don't have anything against the poor wage slave who probably gets more abuse in a day than most people get in a week - I just don't see the point in wasting both our time

You know how litigious Americans are, right? If any telemarketing company decided to ignore the DNC they'll hear enough "I SAID DON'T CALL ME I'LL SUE!!!" to make them change their minds right quick.

Telemarketing is like any business; there are rules which make no sense to outsiders looking in but which make a peculiar kind of sense in-house.

Essentially a telemarketer's job perfomance is tied to sales, but no telemarketer can make a sale if the callee won't listen. Hang ups are bad. Interruptions are bad especially if the telemarketer just takes it and ends the call; they're supposed to keep talking and ignore you. It's their job. A telemarketer who says "Oh, okay, sorry to bother you" when you tell them you're ending the call because you're not interested and you want to save both of you the bother will wind up being counselled, likely by someone who has convinced him/herself that they can sell anything to anyone despite evidence to the contrary. That's a real pain in the arse.

I used to have to fill in over in telemarketing from time to time. The worst call (at least in my mind and likely in yours) ran for forty-five bloody minutes. I had my answer book literally torn apart on my desk so I could answer every question I was asked and then repeat it when the guy handed the phone to his wife. I wanted to die during that call. I expected them to start asking stuff like whether or not the paper we used in the office was environmentally friendly. Yeah, I made the sale but it was actual physical labor involved here.

Even though I filled in (I supervised OCR) when the stats were published for the week guess who was number one? Me.

Probably the best thing you can do is ask for a supervisor and explain repeatedly you're not complaining about the telemarketer who made the call. The calls are made by a computer, so the telemarketers have no control over who they talk to. Only a supervisor can issue the necessary paperwork.

That's just how it works, sorry.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I would threaten lawsuits but I suspect that Beloved may have not done it and told me he had...

I cna see that you can't sell to a dial tone - but they're still wasting time on me when it could be better spent. It saddens me that there are some people that CAN be worn down from a no and saddens me more that the industry relies on wearing them down

It is most crazy

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

It is most crazy

Well, yeah. That's kind of the point.

I always found the people who said yes right away worrying, often with good cause. There ARE people who will just buy everything or take any offer that comes. Who knows why.

But others...well, that's the job. And it sucks. And I don't do that anymore.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I'm going to set up a new agency

We will ring people up and offer to sell them various services. If anyone says "yes" we will track them down and take them in for reeducation. Yes, yes we will.

[lilisonna.livejournal.com]

It's worth noting that the one cold-call type job that I took (and that was for a non-profit environmental company) involved knocking on doors trying to get folks to buy whatever it was I was selling.

According to their Sales Rules, 10% of people would say No and mean it, 10% would say yes right off the bat, and the other EIGHTY PERCENT would eventually say yes if you managed to keep their door open for long enough. It was all about keeping the door open until they gave in.

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

The idea is that you can't sell to a dial tone. As long as you keep them on the phone you have a chance. Therefore, long calls are better than quick hang-ups or cut offs, see 'you can't sell to a dial tone' for details.

Actually, the really experienced people knew within seconds whether or not they likely had a sale, but there were always surprises. Then again we "offered" credit cards from real banks...well, took the applications anyway...so you had more people willing to go for it.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

the dial tone's more likely to buy than me :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Sio you have to wear them down. There was an expose of this on the BBC - some sales peopel knocked at about 8:00pm, especially on the doors of the elderly and were still hanging around 2 hours later because the old folks were too polite to tell them to bugger off

80%?! I'm sure that must be inflated - propaganda for the sales team - unless they mean true endurance runs like the above

[manna]

We have a Do not call list... it is of.... dubious utility. Either that opr Beloved hasn't signed us up despite saying he would

Possibly he didn't, because we signed up for the telephone preference service and it *really* cut the number of calls. The very few we do get can be quickly deterred by using the magic worlds 'I'm on the telephone preference list, you know', after which they usually can't get off the phone fast enough.

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

after which they usually can't get off the phone fast enough.

Yes, amazing how the thought of thousands of pounds in fines, focuses their tiny minds :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I love threatening tiny minds. yes yes I do

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

He probabkly hasn't.

I shall have to "talk" to him about it

heee, lawsuit hammer!

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

Get yourself onto the Mailing and Telephone Preference List:
http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/mpsr/

and then you can just shut this idiots down by threatening them with a massive fine for breaking the law.

I won't ever give money to anyone solicitiing over the phone, for any reason. Do they think I'm stupid???

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Same here - some of them actually ask for my credit card details. Can you believe it? Is anyone that stupid

Well, yes, yes they are

Aha! I shall sign up and then tell beloved I had in a pointed "weren't you supposed to do that?" tone (a masterful tone every couple learns)