Teh stupid attacks...
Jun. 29th, 2007 12:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessOf course, with all the confusion of the flood there is bound to be no shortage of stupid. I am wondering what qualifies as the greatest stupidity however.
The council, or possibly the environment agency, have told us we are on “silver alert.” Fine, but no-one has actually bothered to explain to us exactly what this means. Risk of sparkliness? Shinies beware? Pretty pretty ponies are going to get you? Bitter, second-place Olympic athletes are about to invade? What is the point of having a colour coded alert system that isn’t explained to the people you’re alerting?
Our esteemed mayor, on behalf of the council, has invited us all to a meeting to discuss the flooding. Of course, we’re flooded. How we are expected to get to said meeting is something of a mystery. Anyone who can attend doesn’t need to attend.
All the people playing in the sewage - you have been told by the council, you have been told by the radio, by the internet, by the TV, by everyone with a lick of common sense - STOP DOING IT.
All the people bitching that the Council should have been better prepared and why didn’t they have lots of anti-flood measures in place and on standby - hello? How often does it flood here? It’s like a Simpsons bear patrol! Sure, maybe we can see the need NOW since its apparently some of the new funky weather we can enjoy but extensive anti-flood measures would have been completely wasted for 39 of the last 40 years.
The lovely fire brigade men (who, it has to be said, made things worse by NOT wearing skimpy tight vests, not getting all wet and not being big, hunky men. Really, firemen who aren‘t buff sex gods? That‘s just WRONG) who are happily pumping out water from the street onto the nice hilly park... that is so saturated with water that it’s just flowing down the hills.... back into the street again.
The various powers that be have asked us to be restrained in putting more water down the drains - specifically no baths, washing machines or dishwashers. After all, the drains are struggling to take away what’s already there after all. So why oh why oh why, lady are you washing your freaking curtains?
The ever so esteemed mayor gave us a number for sandbags... except the people at the over end didn’t actually HAVE any. Their advice? Go to your local builder’s merchant with some old pillow cases. Ooookay, problem 1: I have NO clue where any builder’s merchant is. Damn it people, this is relatively wealthy neighbourhood of freaking pampered YUPPIES, none of us have ever had to put one brick on top of another, our idea of DIY is doing your own interior design; how should we know a builder’s merchant is? Problem 2: We are FLOODED IN. If we could jump in the car with old bed linens and bring back heavy sacks of sand then we wouldn’t NEED them.
The nice fire engine pumping out the water can be parked ANYWHERE. No, really, it can pull water out from anywhere in the street and it will take all the water. It’s not just going to take water away from one person’s house and leave Moses-like walls of water behind with a dry patch in between. Anyone bitching about this will be sent back to school to learn some elementary physics - or just shot for not learning what most of us learned before we even went to school.
I would despair of humanity, but it’s much more fun to laugh at it.
The council, or possibly the environment agency, have told us we are on “silver alert.” Fine, but no-one has actually bothered to explain to us exactly what this means. Risk of sparkliness? Shinies beware? Pretty pretty ponies are going to get you? Bitter, second-place Olympic athletes are about to invade? What is the point of having a colour coded alert system that isn’t explained to the people you’re alerting?
Our esteemed mayor, on behalf of the council, has invited us all to a meeting to discuss the flooding. Of course, we’re flooded. How we are expected to get to said meeting is something of a mystery. Anyone who can attend doesn’t need to attend.
All the people playing in the sewage - you have been told by the council, you have been told by the radio, by the internet, by the TV, by everyone with a lick of common sense - STOP DOING IT.
All the people bitching that the Council should have been better prepared and why didn’t they have lots of anti-flood measures in place and on standby - hello? How often does it flood here? It’s like a Simpsons bear patrol! Sure, maybe we can see the need NOW since its apparently some of the new funky weather we can enjoy but extensive anti-flood measures would have been completely wasted for 39 of the last 40 years.
The lovely fire brigade men (who, it has to be said, made things worse by NOT wearing skimpy tight vests, not getting all wet and not being big, hunky men. Really, firemen who aren‘t buff sex gods? That‘s just WRONG) who are happily pumping out water from the street onto the nice hilly park... that is so saturated with water that it’s just flowing down the hills.... back into the street again.
The various powers that be have asked us to be restrained in putting more water down the drains - specifically no baths, washing machines or dishwashers. After all, the drains are struggling to take away what’s already there after all. So why oh why oh why, lady are you washing your freaking curtains?
The ever so esteemed mayor gave us a number for sandbags... except the people at the over end didn’t actually HAVE any. Their advice? Go to your local builder’s merchant with some old pillow cases. Ooookay, problem 1: I have NO clue where any builder’s merchant is. Damn it people, this is relatively wealthy neighbourhood of freaking pampered YUPPIES, none of us have ever had to put one brick on top of another, our idea of DIY is doing your own interior design; how should we know a builder’s merchant is? Problem 2: We are FLOODED IN. If we could jump in the car with old bed linens and bring back heavy sacks of sand then we wouldn’t NEED them.
The nice fire engine pumping out the water can be parked ANYWHERE. No, really, it can pull water out from anywhere in the street and it will take all the water. It’s not just going to take water away from one person’s house and leave Moses-like walls of water behind with a dry patch in between. Anyone bitching about this will be sent back to school to learn some elementary physics - or just shot for not learning what most of us learned before we even went to school.
I would despair of humanity, but it’s much more fun to laugh at it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 11:37 am (UTC)Oh, that's easy. It means risk of Daleks :)
Really, firemen who aren‘t buff sex gods? That‘s just WRONG
Indeed. Sorry you are having insult piled upon injury.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 12:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 12:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 12:28 pm (UTC)Speaking of floods - do you know what the Huddersfield area is like? I have elderly rellies there (my grandfather's remaining sisters).
Also? Weren't you the one who wanted the summer to go away? And look what happened! Go you!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 12:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 12:57 pm (UTC)Isn't it just evil? Non-sexy firemen?! what is the world coming to?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 01:04 pm (UTC)That sucks so much, Spark... :( ::hugs::
Here's some firemen for you.
And people are indeed dumb... we got a little rain that caused some "ponding" on roads, including on mine (I live on a little side-street situated on the top part of the Genesee River bluff). By ponding, I mean about 6 inches to a foot of water on the roads, sometimes on people's lawns. Within an hour, there were kids splashing away in the middle of the road and their parents were joining them! /facepalm
Nevermind there's all sorts of nasty that comes up from the storm sewers!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 01:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 01:16 pm (UTC)No clue about Huddersfield, i think it's ok though since it hasn't been mentioned on the news.
I have power! I'm going to set up my own religion
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 01:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 02:37 pm (UTC)I want those sexy firemen!
Because puddles will stop them being run over! yes yes it will
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 03:04 pm (UTC)This would be what gets my vote. I'd ask if people are actually complaining about that, but all my hope for humanity was burnt out long ago.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 03:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 03:18 pm (UTC)Hmmm. All of the beer-hat and QVC sales would plummet. Our economy would flounder, and the whole world would die. Wal-mart employees would have to go on welfare, once the stores shut down for lack of sales.
Sigh. There's no way to win.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 03:29 pm (UTC):-)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 04:16 pm (UTC)and ICK. WE DO NOT PLAY IN FLOOD WATER, SILLY HUMANS. (i'd virtually smack them, but i don't want to risk touching them!) EW.
this illustrates the one (very dubious) perk of living in a place inclined to chaos--at least we're (semi) prepared for the inevitable chaos?
you really do deserve sexy fireman for this sort of abuse. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 05:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-29 06:32 pm (UTC)No. No, let them. The resulting plague will nicely solve the population and stupidity problem, and since the -intelligent- people are staying the hell out of the muck you'll barely notice except for the ambient IQ going up.
Here via metaquotes
Date: 2007-06-29 10:56 pm (UTC)...honestly?
Because I just can't get my mind around that. Honestly silver alert?
All the other stuff - phone calls with useless advice, firemen who aren't just useless (excuseable) but also no sex gods (inexcuseable), playing in sewage ? I'm not surprised.
I'm impressed that you take it all with humour. Massive amounts of stupidity tend to get me down. Good luck!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:35 pm (UTC)Ah well, at least it's not Wisconsin.
Besides, we're all going to hell. It's more interesting there :)
Vwery silly humans and worse - the silly human's KIDS. Fools! FOOLS!
See, this is the problem, we have so much order that chaos breaks out and we poke it. No poking chaos, is abd.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:46 pm (UTC)Re: Here via metaquotes
Date: 2007-07-11 12:48 pm (UTC)The stupid is everywhere, you can either go mad and go on a crazed killing spree (that's plan B) or laugh at it.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:51 pm (UTC)"at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-12 01:38 pm (UTC)Re: "at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-14 12:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-14 12:03 pm (UTC)or pigs. Pigs are good too.
Re: "at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-14 12:05 pm (UTC)Re: "at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-14 12:06 pm (UTC)Re: "at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-14 12:09 pm (UTC)Re: "at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-14 12:10 pm (UTC)Re: "at least it's not Wisconsin"
Date: 2007-07-14 12:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-15 02:55 am (UTC)