And in the political comic relief
Oct. 7th, 2006 11:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessConference season is pretty much done and all was much of a muchness but the Tory conference wins the prize.
Prize for most interesting? No. Prize for most amusement? No. Prize for restoring my faith in the political process? Ye gods no!
Nope, the prize for rueful amusement.
See, never have so many spoke for so long and managed to say NOTHING. I mean, can anyone point out one single Tory policy for me? I've looked and I've looked but there's nothing there! Oh, there's endless good feeling and fluffiness "pollution is bad! Crime is wrong! Health is good!" but it's all as shallow as the smile on a runner up at a beauty pageant and as fake as her breasts.
Seriously - they managed to talk for several days solidly and said NOTHING. Not ONE policy. Not ONE proposal. Not ONE plan. Not one word that didn't just say the bloody obvious in the vaguest possible terms.
And do you know what's even more amusing? Even without saying a single thing of value they STILL managed to squabble among themselves like a lot of petulent children. What is the collective noun for Conservatives, anyway? A Betrayal of Tories? A Backstab of Tories? An Argument of Tories? They start by spending days wrangling over tax cuts (repeating it more like a religious mantra) without any attempt to present a balanced budget (which killed Howard - that and the overt racism) fighting like mad and they end with Boris Johnson (and am I the only one who thinks someone pays him vast sums of money to say very silly things in public? It's like the political version of Jackass) who manages to stick the knife in over school dinners of all things.
Of course, all this is matched by the sheer humour of David Cameron stood there with his cheesy grin saying "we're all nice and fluffy now. We're not evil any more. Yes, we're nice. Look at all the nice things we want. Yes, we're friendly and wonderful - you can trust us." While behind him his whole party is stilll hissing, hiding from the sunlight and snarling "tax cuts! Business pork! POLL TAX! Crush the NHS! MUAHAHA, THE POOR WILL STARVE AND WE WILL EAT THEIR CHILDREN'S SOULS!!!" It makes the ex-Iraqi information minister look almost plausible! Mind you, he had an easier job.
Prize for most interesting? No. Prize for most amusement? No. Prize for restoring my faith in the political process? Ye gods no!
Nope, the prize for rueful amusement.
See, never have so many spoke for so long and managed to say NOTHING. I mean, can anyone point out one single Tory policy for me? I've looked and I've looked but there's nothing there! Oh, there's endless good feeling and fluffiness "pollution is bad! Crime is wrong! Health is good!" but it's all as shallow as the smile on a runner up at a beauty pageant and as fake as her breasts.
Seriously - they managed to talk for several days solidly and said NOTHING. Not ONE policy. Not ONE proposal. Not ONE plan. Not one word that didn't just say the bloody obvious in the vaguest possible terms.
And do you know what's even more amusing? Even without saying a single thing of value they STILL managed to squabble among themselves like a lot of petulent children. What is the collective noun for Conservatives, anyway? A Betrayal of Tories? A Backstab of Tories? An Argument of Tories? They start by spending days wrangling over tax cuts (repeating it more like a religious mantra) without any attempt to present a balanced budget (which killed Howard - that and the overt racism) fighting like mad and they end with Boris Johnson (and am I the only one who thinks someone pays him vast sums of money to say very silly things in public? It's like the political version of Jackass) who manages to stick the knife in over school dinners of all things.
Of course, all this is matched by the sheer humour of David Cameron stood there with his cheesy grin saying "we're all nice and fluffy now. We're not evil any more. Yes, we're nice. Look at all the nice things we want. Yes, we're friendly and wonderful - you can trust us." While behind him his whole party is stilll hissing, hiding from the sunlight and snarling "tax cuts! Business pork! POLL TAX! Crush the NHS! MUAHAHA, THE POOR WILL STARVE AND WE WILL EAT THEIR CHILDREN'S SOULS!!!" It makes the ex-Iraqi information minister look almost plausible! Mind you, he had an easier job.