The language divide

[sparkindarkness]

I am a Criminal lawyer and a family lawyer. Unfortunately I also took classes in law school and have attended seminars for immigration and asylum law as well. In theory I am qualified. Emphasis on the theory. Still, our firm wants to go into the lucrative and ever growing immigration market and when the Avatars, Those who Must be Hailed as God, Ruler of all they Survey (aka the Senior Partners) command we must obey. So I get a few caes shunted my way. I tend to think they all suck because I don't like doing it much so I give them a free pass.

However, some stand out




Mr. A, you are Algerian. You speak French. You do not speak English. I know this because you force me to conduct law interviews in French. My French is rusty as an ancient old saw that has been marinated in warm salt water for a millennium. No matter how much you like languages, a law interview in a foreign language is not fun and the accent tends to stay with me after the fact.

Still, I can live with that – my language headaches are my problem, not yours, right?

But you can’t speak or read English, but still INSIST on looking at every piece of paper on your file and from the opposition. You NEVER take my word for it – so look at the writing itself. The writing is in ENGLISH. You CAN’T READ IT. You don’t even try to take it to an external translator or anything, you just frown at it blankly for 10 minutes silence. What do you expect? A sudden divine wonder endowing you with the ability to speak English? I can hit you with a haddock a few times for inspiration, but really that’s more for my amusement than anything; you aren’t going to be able to read that letter.

And there is NO need to dissect every single little note with me – a process that requires me to translate EVER SINGLE WORD OF A LEGAL LETTER TO YOU ONE BY ONE. I told you what the letter says. That doesn’t mean we need to spend an hour while I explain their address to you.

I have never lied to you about anything. I have always told you the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth – why do you insist on this linguistic torture for every single note? I can command the Hounds to kill in several languages and I will do so if you try to make me translate case law again.

Comments

[being-here.livejournal.com]

'you try to make me translate case law again'

Surely that's cruel and unusual punishment?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

See, no-one cares about the poor lawyers

[being-here.livejournal.com]

Poor lawyers. No one cares for your black, black hearts

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

*grins* but their black, black hearts are so tasty!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

yep, they're made of chocolate and creamy goodness. with sprinkles!

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

exactly!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Alas. We should sue them all

[kirylyn.livejournal.com]

doesn't he have to be able to understand and READ the citizenship papers that are in ENGLISH in order to be able to sign off on them (realizing that your country immigration vastly differ from the US's) (not that it seems to matter anymore that you're a US citizen, its beginning to seem one gets treated better if one is NOT a US Citizen - then one has NO problem qualify for welfare, medicare, etc)

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

> its beginning to seem one gets treated better if one is NOT a US
> Citizen

You've never travelled or stayed in the US as a non-US citizen.

I can tell.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Well, he wasn't applying for citizenship, really.

And he made me translate EVERY letter and document I had sent or received and old cases. I don't usually show these to English clients.

[mandragora1.livejournal.com]

Here from customers_suck and just wanted to say, 'hello'. We have something in common, I think, as I'm also a solicitor, admitted in England & Wales, who specialises in criminal law. Oh, and I'm also a fanfiction writer.

Have been offsick for a couple of days for the first time in 3 years (fortunately, we've just finished the unexpected Newton hearing that the judge decided should start in a major fraud case the very next day after the directions hearing to provide directions for said Newton - why yes, as a result I worked for several nights with little or no sleep) and was surfing LJ because I feel too ill to even work on my latest piece of fanfiction.

I've been reading your LJ and have been giggling myself into (yet another) coughing fit as a result. I can relate. *wry smile*

I also post occasionally about some of the more amusing or dramatic work incidents in my LJ, but friendslock everything out of an abundance of paranoia.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Greetings - english lawyers/writers unite! And present the world with a reasonable bill.

Don't you just LOVE judicial timing? Isn't it just so wonderfully perfect?

People who see a judge's decision think that judges must think of themselves as kings.

They are wrong. Those who have suffered a judge's timing know that judges think of themselves as gods.



I suspect every lawyer goes through the same thing.| if the world knew they would never bitch about our bills again.

[mandragora1.livejournal.com]

Don't you just LOVE judicial timing? Isn't it just so wonderfully perfect?

*nods solemnly* Truly it is a thing of wonder. In our case, the only reason we could come up with as to why the judge was in such a tearing hurry is that once he realised that everyone would be pleading guilty, he booked a holiday. No one wanted the damn thing right away, including the prosecution and all ten defendants. Ah, what joy to have leading counsel after leading counsel's carefully crafted arguments as to why the Newton should not proceed immediately be completely ignored.

Gods indeed. And of the upper echelons at that - Ra, Zeus and Odin at the very least.

Oh, and they so would bitch. You know they would. *g*

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

People think legal folks are high minded, they really don't think a judge would move a court date because of his holiday. Or end a session early because it's Friday night and they want to go home :)

Yes. They would bitch.

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

**reads about the client**
**goes 'wow'**

I have to say, my ancestors (not very distant either) were immigrants. I know these people. These are my people. They absolutely were capable of doing precisely this and not even they would know why. :D

My grandmother would tell anyone who listened that she spoke fluent English. Of course, she would tell you this in French.

As an absolute non sequitur, I've been researching my family lately and I'm amazed and amused at how casual immigration was back in the late 19th-early 20th century. Back and forth across the border they went, not bothering to fill out papers unless they absolutely had to.

John Lennon's dream was briefly a reality. :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how many people claim knowledge they don't have/


Well, back then people were assets. Unemployment hardly mattered to the powers that be and there were no welfare systems to speak of. The classic bitches against immigrants are "they're sponging" (despite the difficulty of doing so when you're undocumented) or "they're taking our jobs."

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

Well, back then people were assets. Unemployment hardly mattered to the powers that be and there were no welfare systems to speak of. The classic bitches against immigrants are "they're sponging" (despite the difficulty of doing so when you're undocumented) or "they're taking our jobs."

Considering some of the jobs held I'm thinking there were no long lines for them.

Actually, my people were originally brought over by mill owners to work in the mills (textile) because native-born Americans wouldn't touch those jobs with someone else's hands.

I now live in a state that is pretty much flooded with people from Mexico, doing jobs the locally-born types...wouldn't touch with someone else's hands. No wonder I feel a kinship even if the only word of Spanish I have is 'chango'.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Oh there have been many times when labour has been brought over because the locals cannot/will not do them themselves. IN this countrty we had a huge influx of migrants in the 50s to try and replace the labour shortage caused by the war dead. Even now we attact many foreign nurses and doctors because we have such demand

People forget that immigration is driven by demand as much as anything else. Sometimes the demand is wrong (I want meat packers who will work for sub-minimum wages and not complain about the health and safety death trap) but not always (we've got a building boom and need more construction workers!)


Chango? I know someone who uses that as a screen name.