Woman with an axe to grind
Mar. 1st, 2006 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessOk, let me clarify a point for you, honey?
Me? I’m a lawyer. I’m not your ex. Yes, I represented your ex, some time ago now but that doesn’t make me your ex. No, I don’t even remember your ex’s name. Nor yours for that matter. Oh please, don’t be so outraged! Do you have ANY idea how many divorces our office handles? You weren’t stupid enough to stand out (and yes, that is a compliment).
Yes, I know it was one of the major crises of your life, but it was just Tuesday for me. Sorry, the world does not revolve around you, it does not grind to a halt when you fall apart - sucks like that doesn’t it?
In the same way, no I did not break up your marriage. Seriously, honey, I do not care if you’re married, divorced or have a huge harem of pretty bondage boys in your basement.. You and your hubby broke up your marriage, possibly with the addition of the pretty little blonde thing your hubby took up with. I did not ruin your life, you did that yourselves (though you appear still to be breathing and have full bodily integrity so you may want to grab a reality check while you’re at it as well - my angst tolerance runs out reaaaallly quickly).
No, look, really - I did not hunt down your husband and give him a free divorce coupon which suddenly convinced him to cheat on you. I did not brainwash him into leaving you - no matter how much you scream at me your relationship problems are in no way, shape or form my fault. Deal with it.
Oh, and the lady I’m having a drink with isn’t a traitor. Yes, she represented you in that divorce - but that doesn’t make her my enemy. We’re actually friends. Yeah, weird isn’t it? We can go hammer and tongs in court then go drinking together later - it’s a lawyer thing, don‘t worry about it. No honey, she isn’t breaking ranks - because THERE ARE NO SIDES. Your divorce is done, and as we both said - it was YOUR divorce, not ours.
No, she didn’t ‘sabotage’ your case nor did I try to get her to do so - and we’re both deeply offended that you would even suggest that. Now, if you’ve finished screaming we would like to get on with our lives - it would probably do you good to do the same.
Me? I’m a lawyer. I’m not your ex. Yes, I represented your ex, some time ago now but that doesn’t make me your ex. No, I don’t even remember your ex’s name. Nor yours for that matter. Oh please, don’t be so outraged! Do you have ANY idea how many divorces our office handles? You weren’t stupid enough to stand out (and yes, that is a compliment).
Yes, I know it was one of the major crises of your life, but it was just Tuesday for me. Sorry, the world does not revolve around you, it does not grind to a halt when you fall apart - sucks like that doesn’t it?
In the same way, no I did not break up your marriage. Seriously, honey, I do not care if you’re married, divorced or have a huge harem of pretty bondage boys in your basement.. You and your hubby broke up your marriage, possibly with the addition of the pretty little blonde thing your hubby took up with. I did not ruin your life, you did that yourselves (though you appear still to be breathing and have full bodily integrity so you may want to grab a reality check while you’re at it as well - my angst tolerance runs out reaaaallly quickly).
No, look, really - I did not hunt down your husband and give him a free divorce coupon which suddenly convinced him to cheat on you. I did not brainwash him into leaving you - no matter how much you scream at me your relationship problems are in no way, shape or form my fault. Deal with it.
Oh, and the lady I’m having a drink with isn’t a traitor. Yes, she represented you in that divorce - but that doesn’t make her my enemy. We’re actually friends. Yeah, weird isn’t it? We can go hammer and tongs in court then go drinking together later - it’s a lawyer thing, don‘t worry about it. No honey, she isn’t breaking ranks - because THERE ARE NO SIDES. Your divorce is done, and as we both said - it was YOUR divorce, not ours.
No, she didn’t ‘sabotage’ your case nor did I try to get her to do so - and we’re both deeply offended that you would even suggest that. Now, if you’ve finished screaming we would like to get on with our lives - it would probably do you good to do the same.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 05:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 09:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 09:29 am (UTC)(Sorry, I know there was probably a much more significant point to your post . . but it went out of my head at the thought of the bondage boys and trying to figure out where I can get some).
(Also - you need a new job. May I suggest you apply for a position as my chief pretty bondage boy? I promise that I would be strictly hands off and watching only).
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 10:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 10:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 10:42 am (UTC)Heee, I am told that I already have a position as bondage boy and my contract forbids moonlighting :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 01:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 03:27 pm (UTC)...i think you need a "report to the hounds at once" type icon.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 07:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 07:38 pm (UTC)Oh dear... did I just squee? If I start emitting sparkles you will kill me, right?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 07:39 pm (UTC)And I have HOUNDS!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 07:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 08:11 pm (UTC)But hi. And I must say, I find the above post highly amusing, and am impressed you didn't pour said drink over her head.
Em
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 12:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 12:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 07:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 11:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 11:32 pm (UTC)emotional genocide
Date: 2006-03-14 02:41 pm (UTC)representing rapists and murderers doesn't seem so bad in comparison to what some of my colleagues have been subjected to in 'simple family matters' ...
i seem to have found myself teaching undergrads and masters students how to use
their brainscomputers ...Re: emotional genocide
Date: 2006-03-16 10:28 am (UTC)They have computer. They not need brains. *sigh* or so they think.
Re: emotional genocide
Date: 2006-03-16 12:02 pm (UTC)i did a bit of crim and later some civil litigation. mostly pre-trial prep, and some forensics. interviewing and defending mass murderers and serial killers does break the hum drum of assaults and petty thefts.
it wasn't the kind of matters i was dealing with, but the repetitive dullness of the actual work that was driving me angry. that and short contracts with irregular gaps - we have an oversupply of juniors here.
by computers i mean i'm teaching in computer and information science, rather than in a law faculty as one might expect. i've returned to my second academic love, after molecular biology (which is largely computers now anyway) ... though a few of the darlings do insist on proving you right, bless their fat little asses. (and it's not my job to pass them, just to give them the chance to pass. i like this adult education thing. they can complain if they want, but i'll have copies of everything ... :)
Re: emotional genocide
Date: 2006-03-16 02:53 pm (UTC)I love my job, but it is depressing how many crimes are repeated so often.
Ah, I imagine there is true and real pleasure in failing them... that feeling almost makes me wish I was part of the prosecution
Re: emotional genocide
Date: 2006-03-16 10:42 pm (UTC)anyway, gone are the days i have to think much about the mundanes who figure they'll get it right this time™ and not get caught either.
besides, university students are, largely, smarter than a box of hammers, so that's a good start :)
[perhaps we should swap hounds occasionally? make sure your stock is leen and kean.]