Suggestions people?

[sparkindarkness]

We have a client. She owns her own business. I worked for her once on a business case, fair enough, but I’m not a business lawyer, it was a one off. Naturally, as a new business and a new company she needs a lawyer quite frequently. She comes to our firm. All good. She always asks for me… not brilliant because I am not business, but hey, some clienst like a particular lawyer. One of my colleagues is business and has a client who always calls him in for criminal. All I do is the interview and if I have any problems I pass it on to a more qualified lawyer.

Now here the problem begins. In interview it’s amazing how far forwards she can lean in a low cut top with either no bra or a bra that is so push up she’s in severe danger of blocking her vision. This could just be coincidence. As could the constant casual touching. As could the casual hugging. As could the way she always makes sure we touch when she hands me anything. As could the way she always stands so her body is pressed against me if we are stood next to each other. As could… gah, a hundred things. That’s just the thing any one of these could be an accident/coincidence. But when she virtually drapes herself across my shoulders when she’s reading the same paper I am? Or leans into me when we’re both studying the same document when sat next to each other, sometimes putting a hand on my arm, shoulder, chest or even thigh for balance as she leans over? Hmmm… it COULD be innocent. Even if it always happens…

But running her foot up and down my leg under the table at a business lunch or putting her hand on my thigh (and… wandering) without the excuse of balance… weeeeellllll no, not really. Not innocent.

Ok, fair enough, it happens right? Having reached a point where I can’t really pretend it isn’t happening, I try to stop it. I’ve made subtle hints about being taken, mentioned being afianced. No change. If anything she’s getting worse. I was stood in reception talking to a colleague the other day when she came in the office. She hugged (as usual) but her hands explored my back pockets. I pulled away, she casually put an arm round my shoulder while we talked… and let it slide down my back to the pocket again. I physically moved her hand. Twice. The receptionist nearly collapsed laughing. Just a few days ago we were sat reading her articles of association and again hand on my thight, 3 times I moved her hand as it snaked upwards. I had to move my chair.

I’ve dropped hints about being taken, even about being gay, very BIG OBVIOUS HINTS! I've done everything short of cutting her damn hand off. And she’s not stopping. What next?

Comments

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

pass her work onto a more qualified lawyer in the practise and be Totaly Busy and Utterly Booked every time she calls?

[home-of-usher.livejournal.com]

Or hump your boyfriend in front of her. that usually works on most women.

[gnarlycranium.livejournal.com]

that's what I was thinking-- well maybe not THAT drastic, but basically, just have your boyfriend bring you lunch or something sometime when she's around. he could even make some scary faces at her, so as to discourage possible more-the-merrier thoughts on her part. is he scary-looking? *grin!*

Really though, it sounds like things have already gotten too far. Obviously hints and just patiently rearranging her hands is not enough-- after all, women are NOT used to guys that actually -use- things like HINTS. And it seems your relatively meek patience thus far has marked you as prey. She's already used to getting away with it, she's getting something she wants out of it, your attempts at rebuffing her are probably taken as a form of play, and she's got no sufficiently convincing reason to stop. Client or not, you shouldn't have to put up with this quietly-- hell, if a guy was trying shit like that on me, I'd have used violence on him by now. Depending on your boss, you could ask for some advice from them, or you could get someone else at work (or your boyfriend! hah!) to politely advise her to knock it off. That, or the next time she tries it, do something a bit more distinct and serious-- maybe not violent, but if your body language and behavior is sufficiently and clearly annoyed and uncompromising, she ought to get the idea.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I've tried this as one of my options. My senior partner lamented that she called on us far more than is necessary and that switching her to another lawyer who doesn't amuse her so much may mean she will not call on us so frequently and therefore not pay us as much. I informed him that I was a lawyer and he my boss. Regardless of what people say, that is not the same as me being a whore and he being my pimp. he laughed and conceded the point - hopefully I will be seeing a transfer.

The problem is of course that we will not, cannot, lie to a client - so if I'm not fully booked we will not tell her I am (though 'otherwise occupied' is an option

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I dunno, faghags seem only to be encouraged. Besides, the woman KNOWS I'm gay and KNOWS I'm attached. I don't know if being that blantant will help.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... maybe sikking the boyfriend on her may work... it just seems soooo... helplessly pathetic.

Things are getting too far. I mean I frown, move away, cross the room, glare, move her hands as roughly as I can while still being sure I do not hurt her. I mean, the hints have long gone past the stage of being hints.

The trouble with my boss - and most of my colleagues for that matter - is that they see it as amusing more than anything. Sadly it's one of the few areas (VERY few, women usually get the short end of the stick) were the sexism divide works in a woman's favour. A woman in my position would have had my boss throwing restraining orders at the groper. But few people think that a man can face similar... inconvenience. And, naturally, a man can never use violence against a woman and be seen as justified. I think one of our 3 receptionists may be looking at confronting the (and I quote) 'skanky, cheap slapper' on her own. Most see it as a joke, she sees it as sexual harrassment (a little exageration I'm inclined to think... though I admit if it were a woman being groped in such a manner I would agree).

I think next time she tried it I will simply stand up and ask her to leave, terminate the interview and generally chew her out, even if it does mean being rude. It's a line I don't want to cross but she has already gone beyond courtesy.

[gnarlycranium.livejournal.com]

Exaggeration? Heh, now you're discriminating against -yourself-. Sexual harassment is -absolutely- what it is. Or at the very least, assault. She's invading your personal space without permission, and gender has absolutely nothing to do with that. I dunno how picky they are about it in the UK, but over here people FREAK about that sort of thing in the workplace. Granted it's a bit weird when the gender issues come up-- you're quite right, it -isn't- even, and maybe it never will be, given the plain fact that women are smaller and at a general disadvantage when it comes to matters of enforcing personal space. Still, it's sexual harassment even if you're three times her size.

Sounds like that receptionist has the right idea, I just hope your boss is sensible enough to not get upset with her if the client gets offended.

She HAS stepped over the line, and if she tries it again, -telling- her to quit it is a good idea.