Spark in Darkness #60 - facing the future.
Feb. 5th, 2005 05:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessNo. 60. Well, I never expected it to get this long. I suppose I'll have to update my memories soon before it gets out of hand.
Anyways, onwards and upwards, I can see plot laying out in front of me. It's not very nice plot... but then we never expected that, did we?
I could hear them whispering still. Their voices weren’t very good at being quiet and being understood; besides, most people assumed Seers weren’t aware of the world around them when in trance. Sometimes it wads true, but not always. Especially when the Seer’s at least half running from the visions. I’d seen a way out in my dreams, now I was just looking for a way to reach it that didn’t involve me dying. Actually, I almost thought I could accept that. Almost. Trouble was actually finding a way to make it happen. That was frustrating, especially for a Camaalis. We’re used to being able to change the world on a whim. Waiting and hoping really wasn’t one of our strong points.
The whispering continued. They were worried about me. Seems stupid to me. I mean, when you consider the state they’re in. I still feel guilty about that. Of course, no-one told me what they were doing. No-one told me to look through the future threads for them or for Darren. I thought they’d given up on him, or I’d have told them everything I’d Seen.
Someone should have told me. Of course, no-one likes to show their hand in the family. And OI should have looked in on the other two now and then. It was my duty really.
I shook my head to clear some of the guilt and resentment from my mind. Emotions could cloud visions – or be the key to them. It was then that the threads coalesced/ I could see a way forwards. A tiny chance of it working, but one anyway. Everything rested on one question:
How much of a Camaalis was Darren?
One question and a million lives, maybe the entire future of magic in the balance.
“I have Seen.” I said quietly. The two voices cut off abruptly, waiting to hear what I would offer. Oh how things had changed since we were young.
“It’s going to be difficult. Very difficult. And I can’t tell you everything.”
They weren’t happy about it, you didn’t need any magic to sense that. But they didn’t complain. They trusted me. Again I had to shake away a twinge of guilt before continuing.
“You need to leave me here. The entire world stands in the balance. There’s a pit either side of us that could destroy us utterly. I need to guide us over the fragile tight rope between them.” There, that was nicely vague and dramatic. Mystic fortune teller speech was one of the compulsory classes for the Seer children in Camaalis. I’m serious! It stops people asking for clear cut answers, certainties or more information.
“We won’t leave you alone if there is danger to face!” The echoing windy whisper hissed in my ear. I shuddered and tried to hide it. Even clouded and on the edge of hearing I could hear the determination in it. It was bloody eerie.
“You will, or our – the world’s – one chance is gone. C’mon guys, don’t make me call Seer’s Will on you.” I hope I didn’t have to, it would piss them off.
They weren’t exactly happy about me threatening to use it either. Can’t say I blamed them., It always annoyed me when Prisa did it (of course, I’m sure the old bat abused it occasionally, sacred law and holy trust or not.) Still, it had its uses. They both left, grudgingly, with the sound of rushing wind and the whirr of an electric motor. At least now I was only risking my own life. I laughed then, and it sounded harsh even to me. They didn’t exactly have lives left to live. That was going to cause trouble eventually. I know it is for me. Every cell in my body’s screaming how wrong the whole thing is, then my brain and heart get in the mix screaming guilt at me for daring to think it was wrong. It was seriously screwed up.
Well, if I die horribly here, at least that’s one problem I won’t have to deal with. Hey, I found a silver lining! I feel all warm and cosy now.
I sat down on the torn grass, as close to the hole between worlds as I could get without it hurting and waited. I looked across the ravaged landscape to blood stained tree and waited.
I don’t know how long it took. I know after an hour I stopped looking through the skein of fate, I was tense and depressed enough already. Each passing minute made it harder. Made me wonder what outcome I really wanted – and that kind of doubt is really unhealthy for a Seer. I tried distracting myself. I looked up to the fractured sky and wondered how hard it would be to clean up. I wondered if the Concord could do it. I wondered if they’d let us do it. It felt good to wonder for a while, to ask questions and not finds the answers for once. To not try to see.
I looked at the tree and wondered whether it being unhallowed land helped, whether skipping the proper ceremonies had helped.
Then the earth moved.
Anyways, onwards and upwards, I can see plot laying out in front of me. It's not very nice plot... but then we never expected that, did we?
I could hear them whispering still. Their voices weren’t very good at being quiet and being understood; besides, most people assumed Seers weren’t aware of the world around them when in trance. Sometimes it wads true, but not always. Especially when the Seer’s at least half running from the visions. I’d seen a way out in my dreams, now I was just looking for a way to reach it that didn’t involve me dying. Actually, I almost thought I could accept that. Almost. Trouble was actually finding a way to make it happen. That was frustrating, especially for a Camaalis. We’re used to being able to change the world on a whim. Waiting and hoping really wasn’t one of our strong points.
The whispering continued. They were worried about me. Seems stupid to me. I mean, when you consider the state they’re in. I still feel guilty about that. Of course, no-one told me what they were doing. No-one told me to look through the future threads for them or for Darren. I thought they’d given up on him, or I’d have told them everything I’d Seen.
Someone should have told me. Of course, no-one likes to show their hand in the family. And OI should have looked in on the other two now and then. It was my duty really.
I shook my head to clear some of the guilt and resentment from my mind. Emotions could cloud visions – or be the key to them. It was then that the threads coalesced/ I could see a way forwards. A tiny chance of it working, but one anyway. Everything rested on one question:
How much of a Camaalis was Darren?
One question and a million lives, maybe the entire future of magic in the balance.
“I have Seen.” I said quietly. The two voices cut off abruptly, waiting to hear what I would offer. Oh how things had changed since we were young.
“It’s going to be difficult. Very difficult. And I can’t tell you everything.”
They weren’t happy about it, you didn’t need any magic to sense that. But they didn’t complain. They trusted me. Again I had to shake away a twinge of guilt before continuing.
“You need to leave me here. The entire world stands in the balance. There’s a pit either side of us that could destroy us utterly. I need to guide us over the fragile tight rope between them.” There, that was nicely vague and dramatic. Mystic fortune teller speech was one of the compulsory classes for the Seer children in Camaalis. I’m serious! It stops people asking for clear cut answers, certainties or more information.
“We won’t leave you alone if there is danger to face!” The echoing windy whisper hissed in my ear. I shuddered and tried to hide it. Even clouded and on the edge of hearing I could hear the determination in it. It was bloody eerie.
“You will, or our – the world’s – one chance is gone. C’mon guys, don’t make me call Seer’s Will on you.” I hope I didn’t have to, it would piss them off.
They weren’t exactly happy about me threatening to use it either. Can’t say I blamed them., It always annoyed me when Prisa did it (of course, I’m sure the old bat abused it occasionally, sacred law and holy trust or not.) Still, it had its uses. They both left, grudgingly, with the sound of rushing wind and the whirr of an electric motor. At least now I was only risking my own life. I laughed then, and it sounded harsh even to me. They didn’t exactly have lives left to live. That was going to cause trouble eventually. I know it is for me. Every cell in my body’s screaming how wrong the whole thing is, then my brain and heart get in the mix screaming guilt at me for daring to think it was wrong. It was seriously screwed up.
Well, if I die horribly here, at least that’s one problem I won’t have to deal with. Hey, I found a silver lining! I feel all warm and cosy now.
I sat down on the torn grass, as close to the hole between worlds as I could get without it hurting and waited. I looked across the ravaged landscape to blood stained tree and waited.
I don’t know how long it took. I know after an hour I stopped looking through the skein of fate, I was tense and depressed enough already. Each passing minute made it harder. Made me wonder what outcome I really wanted – and that kind of doubt is really unhealthy for a Seer. I tried distracting myself. I looked up to the fractured sky and wondered how hard it would be to clean up. I wondered if the Concord could do it. I wondered if they’d let us do it. It felt good to wonder for a while, to ask questions and not finds the answers for once. To not try to see.
I looked at the tree and wondered whether it being unhallowed land helped, whether skipping the proper ceremonies had helped.
Then the earth moved.
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Date: 2005-02-05 07:14 pm (UTC)