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sparkindarknessDarren’s up again, a few days after Ahrimadan’s arrival. I’m ambivalent about this daemon cat, part of me just wants to sit back and go WHOA every time he speaks to me. The rest of me is hiding under the table. Ummm... help? The voices in my head are scaring me?
And Ghost likes him... the terror is greater than I ever imagined...
Again, Rick has astounded me. I’m still coming to terms with it. I knew he was my anchor, that the feelings I have for him were string enough to hold back the darkness. But, for our feelings... our... love, even in my head the word echoes so sweetly, for our love to be s strong that I can tame the darkness? Bind it to my will and force the evil down? I thought it impossible. It is impossible...
I think... I think Rick is right. Perhaps there is hope... I must think of it... later it’s too much to take in now. Hope, something as beyond my reach as the Sun, I was so sure. It feels strange to think that life might be worth living.
Ahrimadan... he is what I should be thinking of. I hate to admit it, because it makes me sound so pathetically stupid, but I agreed to taking a familiar because Rick asked... Yes, I put us all, and the entire city in mortal jeopardy because my boyfriend asked me to. I was a fool.
And now we have a daemonic cat. I have a daemonic cat linked to my soul. He is as dark and evil as I could be, but he is sorely lacking in my awareness of how terrible we are. He... enjoys being evil. He relishes in the pain of others, and would seek the enslavement of all reality for his amusement. He would destroy all of reality for his own amusement.
Yet he understands me. He knows the darkness more than any other possibly could. He empowers me, holds the darkest of all knowledge within is feline mind; together we are far more dangerous than ever I could be alone; but at the same time he shows me the darkness, helps me understand it. The more I understand it, the more I see when it has its subtle grip on my mind. The darkness is less an insidious, invisible enemy, but now a clear army I can fight. And Rick has given me a whole new arsenal of weaponry.
Is he dangerous? Well, yes... but he is bounded to me, soul, heart and mind. He doesn’t want to hurt me. Part of his makeup is an inability to hurt me... Him hurting others would harm me, because I gave him his power. It would be my hand that struck the blow, no matter what words we put round it. So he restrains himself, and adapts to our new life.
And if he occasionally tries to bargain the souls away from passing pigeons; I think I can live with that.
I think it helps that he is in a cat’s body. A cat is a cruel and selfish creature in many ways. Ahrimadan has adapted quickly - he says that the minds of cats and the minds of daemons are very similar. I still don’t know if he’s telling the truth, or only said it to disturb Rick. I think he enjoys tormenting him. But, even if Ahrimadan adapted, a cat is still a daemon written small. It will do anything to fulfil its own needs, and has little empathy for the suffering of others... but at the same time, its needs are easily met. He may want to rip the soul from your body if you do not obey, but his orders usually revolve around food...
I can hear them now.
“Puny mortal! Know that thou art worthless before my site! Give up thy soul unto me, know the few joys left to thy kind. Give up unto me, and thou shalt know joy, glory, power, anything beyond all measure!”
“For the last fucking time, No!”
“All of thy dreams are mine to fulfil! Such a small thing, I do ask.”
“For fuck’s sake, leave me alone! Here, look a catnip mouse, it’s got a bell inside!”
“Very good mortal, thy tribute is deemed sufficient.”
The sound of jingling now fills the flat. I suppose it’s better than my lover giving up his soul...
Hmmm... what does it say about you , that the daemon would rather have a catnip mouse than your soul?
“Don’t you start...”
“Feeble mortal, know that I am displeased.”
“Shit, now what?”
“My food bowl doth stand empty. This angers me. Thou wilt fix this.”
“Should’ve got a fucking daemonic goldfish.”
Now he has to work that new electronic can opener. I got 10 says he can’t get it to work.
“I shalt lay down twenty that he wilt do himself an injury trying.”
“Fucking electronic knife, what’s wrong with this thing?! Arghh, shit, my hand!”
“I did win. Ghost, thou dost owe me twenty.”
Crap. Rick, you had to be so useless! Pay that cat.
“WHAT?! You expect ME to pay?!”
“I accept souls. And my food bowl doth still remain empty.”
This place is beginning to feel so much like a home to me. Even with the ominous crashing sounds from the kitchen, and Rick’s threats to turn my familiar into a guitar. I think... yes... I am happy here.
“Darren?! Your familiar and my spirit guide are ganging up on me!”
I march to the rescue, with a happy smile I can’t erase. I don’t even think I want to.
And Ghost likes him... the terror is greater than I ever imagined...
Again, Rick has astounded me. I’m still coming to terms with it. I knew he was my anchor, that the feelings I have for him were string enough to hold back the darkness. But, for our feelings... our... love, even in my head the word echoes so sweetly, for our love to be s strong that I can tame the darkness? Bind it to my will and force the evil down? I thought it impossible. It is impossible...
I think... I think Rick is right. Perhaps there is hope... I must think of it... later it’s too much to take in now. Hope, something as beyond my reach as the Sun, I was so sure. It feels strange to think that life might be worth living.
Ahrimadan... he is what I should be thinking of. I hate to admit it, because it makes me sound so pathetically stupid, but I agreed to taking a familiar because Rick asked... Yes, I put us all, and the entire city in mortal jeopardy because my boyfriend asked me to. I was a fool.
And now we have a daemonic cat. I have a daemonic cat linked to my soul. He is as dark and evil as I could be, but he is sorely lacking in my awareness of how terrible we are. He... enjoys being evil. He relishes in the pain of others, and would seek the enslavement of all reality for his amusement. He would destroy all of reality for his own amusement.
Yet he understands me. He knows the darkness more than any other possibly could. He empowers me, holds the darkest of all knowledge within is feline mind; together we are far more dangerous than ever I could be alone; but at the same time he shows me the darkness, helps me understand it. The more I understand it, the more I see when it has its subtle grip on my mind. The darkness is less an insidious, invisible enemy, but now a clear army I can fight. And Rick has given me a whole new arsenal of weaponry.
Is he dangerous? Well, yes... but he is bounded to me, soul, heart and mind. He doesn’t want to hurt me. Part of his makeup is an inability to hurt me... Him hurting others would harm me, because I gave him his power. It would be my hand that struck the blow, no matter what words we put round it. So he restrains himself, and adapts to our new life.
And if he occasionally tries to bargain the souls away from passing pigeons; I think I can live with that.
I think it helps that he is in a cat’s body. A cat is a cruel and selfish creature in many ways. Ahrimadan has adapted quickly - he says that the minds of cats and the minds of daemons are very similar. I still don’t know if he’s telling the truth, or only said it to disturb Rick. I think he enjoys tormenting him. But, even if Ahrimadan adapted, a cat is still a daemon written small. It will do anything to fulfil its own needs, and has little empathy for the suffering of others... but at the same time, its needs are easily met. He may want to rip the soul from your body if you do not obey, but his orders usually revolve around food...
I can hear them now.
“Puny mortal! Know that thou art worthless before my site! Give up thy soul unto me, know the few joys left to thy kind. Give up unto me, and thou shalt know joy, glory, power, anything beyond all measure!”
“For the last fucking time, No!”
“All of thy dreams are mine to fulfil! Such a small thing, I do ask.”
“For fuck’s sake, leave me alone! Here, look a catnip mouse, it’s got a bell inside!”
“Very good mortal, thy tribute is deemed sufficient.”
The sound of jingling now fills the flat. I suppose it’s better than my lover giving up his soul...
Hmmm... what does it say about you , that the daemon would rather have a catnip mouse than your soul?
“Don’t you start...”
“Feeble mortal, know that I am displeased.”
“Shit, now what?”
“My food bowl doth stand empty. This angers me. Thou wilt fix this.”
“Should’ve got a fucking daemonic goldfish.”
Now he has to work that new electronic can opener. I got 10 says he can’t get it to work.
“I shalt lay down twenty that he wilt do himself an injury trying.”
“Fucking electronic knife, what’s wrong with this thing?! Arghh, shit, my hand!”
“I did win. Ghost, thou dost owe me twenty.”
Crap. Rick, you had to be so useless! Pay that cat.
“WHAT?! You expect ME to pay?!”
“I accept souls. And my food bowl doth still remain empty.”
This place is beginning to feel so much like a home to me. Even with the ominous crashing sounds from the kitchen, and Rick’s threats to turn my familiar into a guitar. I think... yes... I am happy here.
“Darren?! Your familiar and my spirit guide are ganging up on me!”
I march to the rescue, with a happy smile I can’t erase. I don’t even think I want to.