Outlines again
May. 12th, 2003 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessAnd onto Darren. I need to go read more smut. I need some anti-angst work.
Naturally, you ask Darren questions, you get depressing answers.
#1 - the Basics
1. Your Name
Darren. I won't say the rest of my name aloud, my family has far too powerful seers for me to make such a mistake.
2. Your age
21
3. Describe yourself
Short (about 5'4") and slender though. I eat little and dark magick seems to add to musculature to some extent - or the physical effort that adds to the mental ensures it. Very pale, with ankle length black hair (it is traditional among my kin not to cut your hair except when you have been humbled or made a severe mistake, decided on by the elders of the family. So your prowess and wisdom can be judged at a glance).
4. Describe your mate (if applicable)
Rick? He is almost an incubus made flesh. Tall, though I admit I judge height by my own standard, with golden blonde hair, sunlight given form, and always unruly and wild, no matter how much I try to tame it. Though it is quite short I believe he is wiser than his hair length suggests. He has pale blue eyes, the colour of spring skies. His face is masculine, but young, square jawed but laughing and dimpled. A wonderfully handesome face, but not scary or severe. His body is well muscled because he has many expensive exercise tools he wastes his money on. He grins frequently and moves with great energy. I think all the energy of life itself is made flesh in Rick, he is so wild, so strong, and lives with so much joy and passion. I envy him sometimes.
5. Where (and when) do you live?
New York now, I move around a great deal, but now I think I will settle for some time, to be near Darren at least.
6. What's your favourite sweet? (It is so a basic!)
I don't like sweet things much, though Dark Chocolate is one of my few indulgences.
#2 -- Favourites
Season?
Winter - I like the dark nights and slow sunlight, the crisp air and proud wind. Though I may change this, New York is a lot colder than I imagined.
Food?
It is a dish that seems impossible to find beyond home. But the old foods of steak and kidney puddings, meat pies, and bread and butter pudding will always hold my taste buds. If I can find the proper suet here I would make Rick them and swear him off the revolting fast food he eternally eats.
Animal?
The cat - it is so wild and independant. Cats possess their own power. Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you if and when they're ready. I like that.
Colour?
Black. Always black - don't believe those so called style gurus - pink will never be the new black, not because pink is a loathesome colour (though it is) but because black will never be old or new.
Time of day?
Normally I would say the early hours of the morning when the night is pure and most people cower in their blankets. But recently I have found pleasure in the early morning, before Rick awakes, when I can take great joy in waking him, despite the consequences.
Weapon?
Dark Magick. I loathe that I can use it and that it comes so easily, but there are few forces in this world that can face it.
3 - Background
I guarentee no answers here. The past is painful.
our place of birth.
The... I will not repeat my second name. An estate, deep in the county of Yorkshire, far from most cities, though there are many ancient villages there.
I think you may have to include country in that as well
Really? Is not Yorkshire well known? It is the largest county in all England. Including all the ridings anyway. *sighs* very well, I am English - British if you prefer, though, in truth, I don't.
Your childhood
This is one that I would rather forget. My family are powerful magick users all. At the age of 6 a ritual is performed that finds our true path. Our pathlighting is a serious ritual. Needless to say, at mine, my family realised what I was. Before then In had a happy childhood, surrounded by wonders that only magick can provide. After the age of 6... I had some unpleasant years where my father desperately tried to purge the darkness from me. He failed. Then my uncle, Alexei, insisted he had a use for me. His... usage grew to become more than I could stand. I ran away, and am still fleeing to thi day.
Your parents.
My parents are wonderful, blessed creatures, who deserved far better than me for a child. My father is an elementalist, the very Earth itself moves to his commands. He is proud and strong, and will fight with all his massive power against anything that threatens his family. He is the strong pillar, the guardian and the honour of my family. I am proud to call him father, and shamed that I lower his name with my life.
My mother is purity given flesh. She is a white mage. Her magick can protect, heal and purify all that is good and wonderful. She shines to all eyes with magickal sense and blesses the life of everyone who sees her. How horrible it must have been to realise what a creature she had bourne.
Your siblings
I have an older sister. She was always fun, she loved to shift reality to her liking. She is an illusionist, whatever she imagines she can imprint around her. She made my childhood a place of wonders, with unicorns and pegasi to ride. Griffons and manticore to play with. Wise dragons and noble serpents surrounded me, and beautiful glades greated me at every turn. I will always miss her.
Your (current) home.
I... I live with Rick now. I used to won a flat in New York. It was very poor adn I had little need for furnishings. I now live in Rick's flat... it is ludicrously expensive and filled with truely excessive amounts of luxury. Though In berate Rick severely for such waste, I admit I love taking advantage of it... especially the jacuzzi.
Your favourite "hang out"
If it serves alcohol, it is sufficient for me. Alcohol allows me to forget. Failing that, anywhere Rick is.
4 - Skills
Can you read?
Of course. Can't everyone? Education 'till 18 is free, you know.
Can you write?
Everyone over the age of 4 can probably answer this in the affirmative.
Can you sing?
I can't say I've tried much... Rick says I have potential, and I have a beatiful voice and accent, but I think that is my boyfriend talking... *grins happily at the word 'boyfriend'*
Can you play an instrument?
No... I used to be able to, but all such education stopped long since. Speak to Rick, he is extremely muscial.
What languages do you speak?
I excell at languages. English, French, Spanish, French, German, Italian, numerous celtic languges, Latin, Greek, Arabica, old Norse and Sanskrit. My parents brought me up on them.
What weapons can you use?
I rely on Dark magick for defence. And what more could I possibly need? When you can obliterate a city, a gun is redundant.
#5 - Secrets
Are you good at keeping secrets about yourself?
Yes. Most people around me do not realise how dangerous I am.
What is your best kept secret?
My darkness. I think no-one living besides Rick, knows what I am in america.
What is your worst kept secret?
I am very good at keeping secrets. Though I find it hard to hide my pain and grief, those with kind hearts often see that I am a wounded soul.
Are you good at keeping secrets about others?
I ahve never really had the opportunity. On the whole, yes.
What secret about someone else have you kept and wish you hadn't?
Myself... I wish I was brave enough to reveal my location to my family, that they could find me and destroy me so I would no longer be a threat to the world.
What secret about someone else have you not kept and wish you had?
I have had little opportunity to keep other's secrets. The only person I am close to is Rick, who does not keep secrets from anyone.
#6 - Sex
Are you a virgin?
No. Not for a very long time unfortunately...
Do you mate for life?
I had not intended to mate at all... not after David. But Rick... I am confused. I know I shouldn't. But I desperately want to.
Who was your first lover?
*shudders* must I answer this? Very well... my Uncle Alexi, at far too young an age. Whose usage I was desperate to escape.
Who is your current lover?
Rick... I feel untold joy at just saying his name in answer...
What is your favourite sexual position?
I adore it when Rick has restrained me, and has full control, I relish his power when I am forced to bend over for him.
What are your kinks?
I only realised this since being with Rick. Every day I live constantly on edge, in control. Afraid that I might unleash my powers by accident. When laying with Rick, I love for him to have the power. I want him to control me, use me, punish me... it seemed very strange to me for a time. But I accept myself as I am. So, I imagine it would be termed as liking dominance and submission, or sadomasachism.
- MORNINGS
What time do you wake / get up?
About 9:00am if I am feeling lazy, or it has been a strenuous night with Rick.
What's the first thing you do upon waking
Wake up Rick, just to hear him groan and complain... sometimes he'll even follow through with his threats *wicked grin*
Are you a morning person?
Yes. I wake up, and am fully aware. I don't see why mornings are a problem.
What's your typical morning like?
I usually wake up, shower, dry my hair, then wake up Rick... then it depends on how irritated he is at being woken up.
Do you drink coffee?
It has a pleasant taste, but I have never understood the obsession with it.
Do you need coffee?
No... with Dark Magick I could give up sleep altogether if I wished.
#9 - ARE YOU...
Smart?
I will let my survival to this point speak for itself.
Arrogant?
Not especially. I am tainted and doomed, what is there to be arrogant about?
Good-looking?
I am too short and pale... I do not think so.
Sexy?
I am short, pale, and enshrouded in angst, darkness and grief. Is such a dark brooding demeanor sexy? I think not.
*takes cold shower* wretched mental pictures... I think Darren will find himself in the minority on that score.
Capable?
I have lived on my own, on the run, as it where, for a very long time. Circumstances have forced me to be capable.
Dangerous?
Extremely so, unfortunately. I can destroy legions of people, in incredibly painful ways, should I choose to call my full powers.
#10 - MARKS
Do you have any scars?
Yes... despite the rapid healing of dark magick... my uncle Alexei was not a kind master... I would rather not discuss them.
Do you have any piercing?
No... but my wards have proven inadequate of late, I think a pentacle with my strongest protection spells in each ear may help.
Do you have any tattoos?Do you have any other markings?
Beyond scars and tattoos? I usually wear a few bruises from Rick's strong contact...
Do you wear any jewellery?
My wards - a pentacle at my neck and each wrist on my hands (usually I use gloves to hold them in place)
Have you ever broken any bones?
Under Alexei's care I can think of very few I did not break...
#11 - GRAB BAG
What is your favourite mode of transportation?
Travelling through the abyss of true darkness, for me it is fast, safe and cheap.
Can you cook?
Microwaves. Microwaves absolve the need for cooking
Do you have big feet?
*sigh* no. I am a short, tiny person, delicate, according to Rick.
What is the square root of 169?
I believe the only thing more dangerous than I is maths.
If you could change your name to anything you wanted, what would you
change it to?
My name is a proud and honourable one, even though one I have no right to claim. I would not change it.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Pathetic. How many people recite this one koan and think themselves wise for chanting it? Spare me your petty climbing to enlightenment.
harsh Darren...
Gah, but it's almost as bad as those new agers who get themselves a lump of quartz, smoke pot and get a wooden incense holder and suddenly think they are the almighty centre of peace and one-ness - the first step is very good, but people need to remember there's a second step.
Questionnaires #12 -- Rituals
Do you believe in a higher power?
Yes
details Darren.
I prefer the privacy to pratice on my own terms without interference. Very well - I'm a pagan, so I believe in the Lord and Lady, the Two that Are one. God and Goddess, the essence of all that is. Happy?
for now...
Do you belong to a formal religion?
As in organised? Not really, I'm pagan. I don't like formal religion, it's too... stifling, too organised, too strict. I prefer room to think.
Besides, who would have me?
Do you have any religious rituals?
No. There are a plethora, but I do not deserve the Goddess' smile or the God's touch. A tainted monstrosity like I has no place in anything that awesome.
many would disagree Darren - even your family...
I don't. That's what matters.
Do your people have any sort of coming of age ritual?
*sighs* our pathlighting, at the age of 6. On that day the powerful seers of my family perfrom the ritual to sense what path the child will walk. That is the day we discover what magick they have been blessed with, what gifts they possess and what powers they hold. There are others, at different ages, but I never went past my pathlighting.
I should have died there, to my kin I am dead. Or they will try to make it so. *angrily rubs eyes*
Do you have any personal rituals?
I have rituals of warding and meditation, to try and hold back the darkness inside me. I am failing.
Do you have any sexual rituals?
*turns away* no. Never.
Questionnaire #13 -- Your lover
How long have you been together?
About a fortnight to three weeks.
What do you like to do together?
*raises eyebrow* Do you really want me to answer that?
Besides sex Darren. Rick is a bad influence on you.
*snorts* impossible! Very well, we like to lay together peacefully, we can forget the troubles of the world in each other's arms.
What do you do to make your lover happy?
besides that!
Rick has made you paranoid. Please him? I haven't killed or tortured him yet...
I don't think that counts... and it wasn't for want of trying either.
*winces* no... you're right. What could a daemon give to make so beautiful a person happy? I gove him pain, worry and suffering. I am a burden he would be better without.
What do you do even though it upsets your lover?
Wake him up before noon *evil grin*
If someone was going to meet your lover for the first time, what one thing would they need to know?
He isn't on a sugar high. He's always like that I'm afraid. And he will never give up on ANYTHING, no matter how many hints you drop.
hints? You threw him into a wall!
My point is made.
What's your absolutely favourite thing about your lover?
That he didn't give up... that he stayed with me, no matter what. It will get him killed some day, but here, and now, I love him for it.
Questionnaire #14 - If you were...
If you were a _____ what would you be?
Metal
Hmmm, razor steel. Extremely dangerous - don't touch.
a plant
A thorn bush. See the last question.
a fault
Evil. There is no other word that can describe me.
a virtue
Hah! Nothing considered a 'virtue' could ever apply to me.
a colour
Black. Dark, evil and depressing. But at least it is stylish.
a season
Winter. The night has drawn in and the heart is cold. There is the threat of death in the air and great suffering for many.
and snow balls. And snow men. Ans sledging, and lots of fun!
Stop ruining my dark, moody atmosphere.
Questionnaire #15 -- What is your most distinctive...
What is your most distinctive...
Physical feature?
My hair - it falls in a completely straight line to my ankles, black and thick. It attracts a great deal of attention.
Physical mannerism?
Rick accuses me of glaring at people and scaring them away *shrugs* it is useful.
Character trait?
Grief. There is so much to mourn, so much pain, so much suffering, mine and that I cause on others. I can never truly be seperated from grief.
Except in Rick's arms... then, maybe, then.
Turn of phrase?
*ahem* I believe 'ye gods' I suppose it is lessm imaginative than Rick's endless string of expletives, but I think I will keep it still.
Pet peeve?
Dogs. Wretched noisy, messy creatures. And people who are pathologically happy and grinning. Oh, and air heads who giggle and smile without ever actually thinking. And hypocrites who blind themselves to the damage they cause. And...
can we speed this up and just say people?
*glares* Not all people. Just most.
Habit?
Rick accuses me of constantly fiddling with my hair. I can't think of any others.
Questionnaire #16 -- Wants
What's one place you've always wanted to go?
Home.
What's one thing you've never been able to do?
Stop the pain. Stop myself. End this existance.
What one thing have you always wanted to learn but never have?
What is there to learn? My dream in life is my own destruction, the state of my education is hardly relevant.
What's one thing you've always wanted to do and never have?
Commit suicide and save those I love.
What's one thing you've always wanted to have but don't have?
Posessions mean nothing...
Peace. I crave peace.
Who do you envy?
Everyone. I have a darkness that threatens to consume me, a destiny to destroy all that I touch. I am a monster, a daemon. The power's taking over my mind and I cannot stop it. People do not know how lucky they are. *snarls*
Questionnaire #17 - Animals
you like animals?
*shrugs* some.
Which animals don't you like?
Dogs. So loud, and messy and... *shudders* horrible creatures.
Do you hunt? If so, for food or pleasure?
I am not going to engage in any activity that ENCOURAGES my dark side to kill and destroy.
Do you eat meat?
Yes. Looking at the acts I have commited and the acts I am likely to commit, eating meat hardly registers as morally questionable.
Which animal do you most closely identify with?
Is there an animal that is inherently and daemonically evil? That inflicts suffering for fun? That will destroy all but those it enslaves?
Ah... Yes, cats, I think.
Which animal do you most closely identify your mate with?
A monkey.
I don't think he'll appreciate that
I'm not a zoologist. I can think of no other creature that has his playfullness, his boundless energy (except before noon) and quick mischievous imagination.
Questionnaire #18 - Superstitions
Are you superstitious?
Not really. What can bad luck possibly do to me, considering how low I already am?
Aie! Don't say things like that, it tempts fate!
What is your most embarrassing superstition?
I don't have any.
What is your most strongly held superstition?
And again. Terrible things will happen, and there's nothing I can do to stop them
Do you believe in the devil?
An ultimate evil? Yes, I see him in the mirror every day. A grand force for corruption and darkness? *shrugs* no. People are more than capable of their own evil, stop looking for a scapegoat.
Do you believe in karma?
Yes, the rule of three.
Do you carry a talisman/lucky charm/etc.?
Do my wards count? They're not so much charms as amulets to hold my darkness down.
Questionnaire #19 -- Either Or
Country or City?
Country - less people to hurt.
Water or Alcohol?
Alcohol. Water doesn't make you forget... well, the water of most cities doesn't make you forget.
Black or White?
Black
Day or Night?
Night
Pain or Pleasure?
Always pain... pleasure is too... alien to me. Pain is an old and constant companion.
Life or Death?
Death. Please, gods, bring me death.
Questionnaire #20 Fear, pain and loss
Oh gods. Hold on to your seats, this is not going to be pretty
What are you afraid of?
The future and myself.
How do you deal with your fears?
How can I? I drink until I forget, I cling to Rick as my anchor. It's all false though - I will fall.
Why did you cry most recently?
In the mall... the pain was so extreme. And I was so afraid that I'd killed someone, everyone. And when I killed my neighbour - she was such a good woman, so kind. She loved everyone, and had such a lovely family... *scrubs away tears*
What was the worst pain you've experienced?
I must choose one? David - my last lover - when I killed him, and he... Enough! I'll not speak of it.
What is the worst injury or illness you've experienced?
My wards fight my power - when it is too much sometimes they melt and cover me in molten metal. It is worse when the tatoos are driven beyond their limits.
What do you most dread losing?
Rick... and it's going to happen. It's going to happen, and I can't stop it.
Questionnaire #21 -- Christmas and New Year's version
Do you celebrate a winter solstice type holiday and if so, which one?
I used to celebrate Yule, long ago. Not anymore.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Kris Kringle? Hern the Hunter? The Ice Fairy? Someone else associated with the holiday?
No.
Do you like giving gifts?
*shrugs* I rarely have anyone to give them to.
What's the best gift you've ever given someone?
I left. They survived.
Do you like getting gifts?
No. It means I have gotten too close to someone again.
What's the best gift you've ever gotten?
Rick. He is the ultimate gift.
Do you mark the coming of the New Year in some way?
No. Beyond trying to drink myself into oblivion, that I need not see another year pass.
Are you making a new year's resolution? If so, what is it?
To die. Soon.
Have you made resolutions in the past?
Yes. The same one every year for the last 15
If so, which was the most successful?
I have never been successful
If you could make a completely fresh start, would you?
Yes! So many would survive! So many would live and be whole!
If you had no choice and were making a completely fresh start and could bring one person with you, who would it be?
My heart cries for Rick... but no - I would take a fresh start so I could die before I caused too much damage. I will not drag him with me.
*walks away crying*
Naturally, you ask Darren questions, you get depressing answers.
#1 - the Basics
1. Your Name
Darren. I won't say the rest of my name aloud, my family has far too powerful seers for me to make such a mistake.
2. Your age
21
3. Describe yourself
Short (about 5'4") and slender though. I eat little and dark magick seems to add to musculature to some extent - or the physical effort that adds to the mental ensures it. Very pale, with ankle length black hair (it is traditional among my kin not to cut your hair except when you have been humbled or made a severe mistake, decided on by the elders of the family. So your prowess and wisdom can be judged at a glance).
4. Describe your mate (if applicable)
Rick? He is almost an incubus made flesh. Tall, though I admit I judge height by my own standard, with golden blonde hair, sunlight given form, and always unruly and wild, no matter how much I try to tame it. Though it is quite short I believe he is wiser than his hair length suggests. He has pale blue eyes, the colour of spring skies. His face is masculine, but young, square jawed but laughing and dimpled. A wonderfully handesome face, but not scary or severe. His body is well muscled because he has many expensive exercise tools he wastes his money on. He grins frequently and moves with great energy. I think all the energy of life itself is made flesh in Rick, he is so wild, so strong, and lives with so much joy and passion. I envy him sometimes.
5. Where (and when) do you live?
New York now, I move around a great deal, but now I think I will settle for some time, to be near Darren at least.
6. What's your favourite sweet? (It is so a basic!)
I don't like sweet things much, though Dark Chocolate is one of my few indulgences.
#2 -- Favourites
Season?
Winter - I like the dark nights and slow sunlight, the crisp air and proud wind. Though I may change this, New York is a lot colder than I imagined.
Food?
It is a dish that seems impossible to find beyond home. But the old foods of steak and kidney puddings, meat pies, and bread and butter pudding will always hold my taste buds. If I can find the proper suet here I would make Rick them and swear him off the revolting fast food he eternally eats.
Animal?
The cat - it is so wild and independant. Cats possess their own power. Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you if and when they're ready. I like that.
Colour?
Black. Always black - don't believe those so called style gurus - pink will never be the new black, not because pink is a loathesome colour (though it is) but because black will never be old or new.
Time of day?
Normally I would say the early hours of the morning when the night is pure and most people cower in their blankets. But recently I have found pleasure in the early morning, before Rick awakes, when I can take great joy in waking him, despite the consequences.
Weapon?
Dark Magick. I loathe that I can use it and that it comes so easily, but there are few forces in this world that can face it.
3 - Background
I guarentee no answers here. The past is painful.
our place of birth.
The... I will not repeat my second name. An estate, deep in the county of Yorkshire, far from most cities, though there are many ancient villages there.
I think you may have to include country in that as well
Really? Is not Yorkshire well known? It is the largest county in all England. Including all the ridings anyway. *sighs* very well, I am English - British if you prefer, though, in truth, I don't.
Your childhood
This is one that I would rather forget. My family are powerful magick users all. At the age of 6 a ritual is performed that finds our true path. Our pathlighting is a serious ritual. Needless to say, at mine, my family realised what I was. Before then In had a happy childhood, surrounded by wonders that only magick can provide. After the age of 6... I had some unpleasant years where my father desperately tried to purge the darkness from me. He failed. Then my uncle, Alexei, insisted he had a use for me. His... usage grew to become more than I could stand. I ran away, and am still fleeing to thi day.
Your parents.
My parents are wonderful, blessed creatures, who deserved far better than me for a child. My father is an elementalist, the very Earth itself moves to his commands. He is proud and strong, and will fight with all his massive power against anything that threatens his family. He is the strong pillar, the guardian and the honour of my family. I am proud to call him father, and shamed that I lower his name with my life.
My mother is purity given flesh. She is a white mage. Her magick can protect, heal and purify all that is good and wonderful. She shines to all eyes with magickal sense and blesses the life of everyone who sees her. How horrible it must have been to realise what a creature she had bourne.
Your siblings
I have an older sister. She was always fun, she loved to shift reality to her liking. She is an illusionist, whatever she imagines she can imprint around her. She made my childhood a place of wonders, with unicorns and pegasi to ride. Griffons and manticore to play with. Wise dragons and noble serpents surrounded me, and beautiful glades greated me at every turn. I will always miss her.
Your (current) home.
I... I live with Rick now. I used to won a flat in New York. It was very poor adn I had little need for furnishings. I now live in Rick's flat... it is ludicrously expensive and filled with truely excessive amounts of luxury. Though In berate Rick severely for such waste, I admit I love taking advantage of it... especially the jacuzzi.
Your favourite "hang out"
If it serves alcohol, it is sufficient for me. Alcohol allows me to forget. Failing that, anywhere Rick is.
4 - Skills
Can you read?
Of course. Can't everyone? Education 'till 18 is free, you know.
Can you write?
Everyone over the age of 4 can probably answer this in the affirmative.
Can you sing?
I can't say I've tried much... Rick says I have potential, and I have a beatiful voice and accent, but I think that is my boyfriend talking... *grins happily at the word 'boyfriend'*
Can you play an instrument?
No... I used to be able to, but all such education stopped long since. Speak to Rick, he is extremely muscial.
What languages do you speak?
I excell at languages. English, French, Spanish, French, German, Italian, numerous celtic languges, Latin, Greek, Arabica, old Norse and Sanskrit. My parents brought me up on them.
What weapons can you use?
I rely on Dark magick for defence. And what more could I possibly need? When you can obliterate a city, a gun is redundant.
#5 - Secrets
Are you good at keeping secrets about yourself?
Yes. Most people around me do not realise how dangerous I am.
What is your best kept secret?
My darkness. I think no-one living besides Rick, knows what I am in america.
What is your worst kept secret?
I am very good at keeping secrets. Though I find it hard to hide my pain and grief, those with kind hearts often see that I am a wounded soul.
Are you good at keeping secrets about others?
I ahve never really had the opportunity. On the whole, yes.
What secret about someone else have you kept and wish you hadn't?
Myself... I wish I was brave enough to reveal my location to my family, that they could find me and destroy me so I would no longer be a threat to the world.
What secret about someone else have you not kept and wish you had?
I have had little opportunity to keep other's secrets. The only person I am close to is Rick, who does not keep secrets from anyone.
#6 - Sex
Are you a virgin?
No. Not for a very long time unfortunately...
Do you mate for life?
I had not intended to mate at all... not after David. But Rick... I am confused. I know I shouldn't. But I desperately want to.
Who was your first lover?
*shudders* must I answer this? Very well... my Uncle Alexi, at far too young an age. Whose usage I was desperate to escape.
Who is your current lover?
Rick... I feel untold joy at just saying his name in answer...
What is your favourite sexual position?
I adore it when Rick has restrained me, and has full control, I relish his power when I am forced to bend over for him.
What are your kinks?
I only realised this since being with Rick. Every day I live constantly on edge, in control. Afraid that I might unleash my powers by accident. When laying with Rick, I love for him to have the power. I want him to control me, use me, punish me... it seemed very strange to me for a time. But I accept myself as I am. So, I imagine it would be termed as liking dominance and submission, or sadomasachism.
- MORNINGS
What time do you wake / get up?
About 9:00am if I am feeling lazy, or it has been a strenuous night with Rick.
What's the first thing you do upon waking
Wake up Rick, just to hear him groan and complain... sometimes he'll even follow through with his threats *wicked grin*
Are you a morning person?
Yes. I wake up, and am fully aware. I don't see why mornings are a problem.
What's your typical morning like?
I usually wake up, shower, dry my hair, then wake up Rick... then it depends on how irritated he is at being woken up.
Do you drink coffee?
It has a pleasant taste, but I have never understood the obsession with it.
Do you need coffee?
No... with Dark Magick I could give up sleep altogether if I wished.
#9 - ARE YOU...
Smart?
I will let my survival to this point speak for itself.
Arrogant?
Not especially. I am tainted and doomed, what is there to be arrogant about?
Good-looking?
I am too short and pale... I do not think so.
Sexy?
I am short, pale, and enshrouded in angst, darkness and grief. Is such a dark brooding demeanor sexy? I think not.
*takes cold shower* wretched mental pictures... I think Darren will find himself in the minority on that score.
Capable?
I have lived on my own, on the run, as it where, for a very long time. Circumstances have forced me to be capable.
Dangerous?
Extremely so, unfortunately. I can destroy legions of people, in incredibly painful ways, should I choose to call my full powers.
#10 - MARKS
Do you have any scars?
Yes... despite the rapid healing of dark magick... my uncle Alexei was not a kind master... I would rather not discuss them.
Do you have any piercing?
No... but my wards have proven inadequate of late, I think a pentacle with my strongest protection spells in each ear may help.
Do you have any tattoos?Do you have any other markings?
Beyond scars and tattoos? I usually wear a few bruises from Rick's strong contact...
Do you wear any jewellery?
My wards - a pentacle at my neck and each wrist on my hands (usually I use gloves to hold them in place)
Have you ever broken any bones?
Under Alexei's care I can think of very few I did not break...
#11 - GRAB BAG
What is your favourite mode of transportation?
Travelling through the abyss of true darkness, for me it is fast, safe and cheap.
Can you cook?
Microwaves. Microwaves absolve the need for cooking
Do you have big feet?
*sigh* no. I am a short, tiny person, delicate, according to Rick.
What is the square root of 169?
I believe the only thing more dangerous than I is maths.
If you could change your name to anything you wanted, what would you
change it to?
My name is a proud and honourable one, even though one I have no right to claim. I would not change it.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Pathetic. How many people recite this one koan and think themselves wise for chanting it? Spare me your petty climbing to enlightenment.
harsh Darren...
Gah, but it's almost as bad as those new agers who get themselves a lump of quartz, smoke pot and get a wooden incense holder and suddenly think they are the almighty centre of peace and one-ness - the first step is very good, but people need to remember there's a second step.
Questionnaires #12 -- Rituals
Do you believe in a higher power?
Yes
details Darren.
I prefer the privacy to pratice on my own terms without interference. Very well - I'm a pagan, so I believe in the Lord and Lady, the Two that Are one. God and Goddess, the essence of all that is. Happy?
for now...
Do you belong to a formal religion?
As in organised? Not really, I'm pagan. I don't like formal religion, it's too... stifling, too organised, too strict. I prefer room to think.
Besides, who would have me?
Do you have any religious rituals?
No. There are a plethora, but I do not deserve the Goddess' smile or the God's touch. A tainted monstrosity like I has no place in anything that awesome.
many would disagree Darren - even your family...
I don't. That's what matters.
Do your people have any sort of coming of age ritual?
*sighs* our pathlighting, at the age of 6. On that day the powerful seers of my family perfrom the ritual to sense what path the child will walk. That is the day we discover what magick they have been blessed with, what gifts they possess and what powers they hold. There are others, at different ages, but I never went past my pathlighting.
I should have died there, to my kin I am dead. Or they will try to make it so. *angrily rubs eyes*
Do you have any personal rituals?
I have rituals of warding and meditation, to try and hold back the darkness inside me. I am failing.
Do you have any sexual rituals?
*turns away* no. Never.
Questionnaire #13 -- Your lover
How long have you been together?
About a fortnight to three weeks.
What do you like to do together?
*raises eyebrow* Do you really want me to answer that?
Besides sex Darren. Rick is a bad influence on you.
*snorts* impossible! Very well, we like to lay together peacefully, we can forget the troubles of the world in each other's arms.
What do you do to make your lover happy?
besides that!
Rick has made you paranoid. Please him? I haven't killed or tortured him yet...
I don't think that counts... and it wasn't for want of trying either.
*winces* no... you're right. What could a daemon give to make so beautiful a person happy? I gove him pain, worry and suffering. I am a burden he would be better without.
What do you do even though it upsets your lover?
Wake him up before noon *evil grin*
If someone was going to meet your lover for the first time, what one thing would they need to know?
He isn't on a sugar high. He's always like that I'm afraid. And he will never give up on ANYTHING, no matter how many hints you drop.
hints? You threw him into a wall!
My point is made.
What's your absolutely favourite thing about your lover?
That he didn't give up... that he stayed with me, no matter what. It will get him killed some day, but here, and now, I love him for it.
Questionnaire #14 - If you were...
If you were a _____ what would you be?
Metal
Hmmm, razor steel. Extremely dangerous - don't touch.
a plant
A thorn bush. See the last question.
a fault
Evil. There is no other word that can describe me.
a virtue
Hah! Nothing considered a 'virtue' could ever apply to me.
a colour
Black. Dark, evil and depressing. But at least it is stylish.
a season
Winter. The night has drawn in and the heart is cold. There is the threat of death in the air and great suffering for many.
and snow balls. And snow men. Ans sledging, and lots of fun!
Stop ruining my dark, moody atmosphere.
Questionnaire #15 -- What is your most distinctive...
What is your most distinctive...
Physical feature?
My hair - it falls in a completely straight line to my ankles, black and thick. It attracts a great deal of attention.
Physical mannerism?
Rick accuses me of glaring at people and scaring them away *shrugs* it is useful.
Character trait?
Grief. There is so much to mourn, so much pain, so much suffering, mine and that I cause on others. I can never truly be seperated from grief.
Except in Rick's arms... then, maybe, then.
Turn of phrase?
*ahem* I believe 'ye gods' I suppose it is lessm imaginative than Rick's endless string of expletives, but I think I will keep it still.
Pet peeve?
Dogs. Wretched noisy, messy creatures. And people who are pathologically happy and grinning. Oh, and air heads who giggle and smile without ever actually thinking. And hypocrites who blind themselves to the damage they cause. And...
can we speed this up and just say people?
*glares* Not all people. Just most.
Habit?
Rick accuses me of constantly fiddling with my hair. I can't think of any others.
Questionnaire #16 -- Wants
What's one place you've always wanted to go?
Home.
What's one thing you've never been able to do?
Stop the pain. Stop myself. End this existance.
What one thing have you always wanted to learn but never have?
What is there to learn? My dream in life is my own destruction, the state of my education is hardly relevant.
What's one thing you've always wanted to do and never have?
Commit suicide and save those I love.
What's one thing you've always wanted to have but don't have?
Posessions mean nothing...
Peace. I crave peace.
Who do you envy?
Everyone. I have a darkness that threatens to consume me, a destiny to destroy all that I touch. I am a monster, a daemon. The power's taking over my mind and I cannot stop it. People do not know how lucky they are. *snarls*
Questionnaire #17 - Animals
you like animals?
*shrugs* some.
Which animals don't you like?
Dogs. So loud, and messy and... *shudders* horrible creatures.
Do you hunt? If so, for food or pleasure?
I am not going to engage in any activity that ENCOURAGES my dark side to kill and destroy.
Do you eat meat?
Yes. Looking at the acts I have commited and the acts I am likely to commit, eating meat hardly registers as morally questionable.
Which animal do you most closely identify with?
Is there an animal that is inherently and daemonically evil? That inflicts suffering for fun? That will destroy all but those it enslaves?
Ah... Yes, cats, I think.
Which animal do you most closely identify your mate with?
A monkey.
I don't think he'll appreciate that
I'm not a zoologist. I can think of no other creature that has his playfullness, his boundless energy (except before noon) and quick mischievous imagination.
Questionnaire #18 - Superstitions
Are you superstitious?
Not really. What can bad luck possibly do to me, considering how low I already am?
Aie! Don't say things like that, it tempts fate!
What is your most embarrassing superstition?
I don't have any.
What is your most strongly held superstition?
And again. Terrible things will happen, and there's nothing I can do to stop them
Do you believe in the devil?
An ultimate evil? Yes, I see him in the mirror every day. A grand force for corruption and darkness? *shrugs* no. People are more than capable of their own evil, stop looking for a scapegoat.
Do you believe in karma?
Yes, the rule of three.
Do you carry a talisman/lucky charm/etc.?
Do my wards count? They're not so much charms as amulets to hold my darkness down.
Questionnaire #19 -- Either Or
Country or City?
Country - less people to hurt.
Water or Alcohol?
Alcohol. Water doesn't make you forget... well, the water of most cities doesn't make you forget.
Black or White?
Black
Day or Night?
Night
Pain or Pleasure?
Always pain... pleasure is too... alien to me. Pain is an old and constant companion.
Life or Death?
Death. Please, gods, bring me death.
Questionnaire #20 Fear, pain and loss
Oh gods. Hold on to your seats, this is not going to be pretty
What are you afraid of?
The future and myself.
How do you deal with your fears?
How can I? I drink until I forget, I cling to Rick as my anchor. It's all false though - I will fall.
Why did you cry most recently?
In the mall... the pain was so extreme. And I was so afraid that I'd killed someone, everyone. And when I killed my neighbour - she was such a good woman, so kind. She loved everyone, and had such a lovely family... *scrubs away tears*
What was the worst pain you've experienced?
I must choose one? David - my last lover - when I killed him, and he... Enough! I'll not speak of it.
What is the worst injury or illness you've experienced?
My wards fight my power - when it is too much sometimes they melt and cover me in molten metal. It is worse when the tatoos are driven beyond their limits.
What do you most dread losing?
Rick... and it's going to happen. It's going to happen, and I can't stop it.
Questionnaire #21 -- Christmas and New Year's version
Do you celebrate a winter solstice type holiday and if so, which one?
I used to celebrate Yule, long ago. Not anymore.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Kris Kringle? Hern the Hunter? The Ice Fairy? Someone else associated with the holiday?
No.
Do you like giving gifts?
*shrugs* I rarely have anyone to give them to.
What's the best gift you've ever given someone?
I left. They survived.
Do you like getting gifts?
No. It means I have gotten too close to someone again.
What's the best gift you've ever gotten?
Rick. He is the ultimate gift.
Do you mark the coming of the New Year in some way?
No. Beyond trying to drink myself into oblivion, that I need not see another year pass.
Are you making a new year's resolution? If so, what is it?
To die. Soon.
Have you made resolutions in the past?
Yes. The same one every year for the last 15
If so, which was the most successful?
I have never been successful
If you could make a completely fresh start, would you?
Yes! So many would survive! So many would live and be whole!
If you had no choice and were making a completely fresh start and could bring one person with you, who would it be?
My heart cries for Rick... but no - I would take a fresh start so I could die before I caused too much damage. I will not drag him with me.
*walks away crying*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-05-12 05:34 pm (UTC)I excell at languages. English, French, Spanish, French, German, Italian, numerous celtic languges, Latin, Greek, Arabica, old Norse and Sanskrit. My parents brought me up on them. I'm jealous! Yeesh. And all I know are English and some French.
Is such a dark brooding demeanor sexy? I think not....I think Darren will find himself in the minority on that score. Yeah. Yeah, I think so too.
*walks away crying* *hugs Darren* Poor boy. *more hugs*
Re:
Date: 2003-05-13 11:41 am (UTC)Darren's family had odd ideas on education - all I got is English, French, Spanish, Italian and a smattering of Japanese, latin and German.
Darren is so super sexy guy, but short prejudice is against him. And his angst, oh the angst!
Darren: *hugs back awkwardly* do not waste your tears on me; my victims are more deserving.