So I got a phone call

[sparkindarkness]

Beloved:  *unbelievably cheerful* Sparky!   Hurry home, I miss you!

 Sparky: *suspicious look at phone* what did you do?

 Beloved: What? Can’t I just…

 Sparky:No. What did you do?

 Beloved: Look, before you get mad…

 Sparky: I’m saving time, I’m already mad.

 Beloved: But listen, listen, listen, because this is actually good I promise, listen…

 Sparky: I’m listening. Do elaborate on this “actually good” thing.

 Beloved: Well, there was a huge screw up at my friend X’s work (who works in the meat industry doing… meat industry type things) and he’s got all these chickens going really cheap. So I got some off him.

 Sparky: That’s not bad…

 Beloved: See! I mean, you said we could always use chickens so I said yes and loaded up.

Sparky: Wait wait, I said we could always use chicken. Did you just say chickenS?

 Beloved: yes, same difference.

 Sparky: Whole chickens? As entire full chickens? You’ve just bought a load of full frozen chickens?

 Beloved: They’re not frozen.

 Sparky: …ok… how many fresh chickens did you buy?

 Beloved: Errr… not fresh exactly. More… defrosted. They were frozen and now they’re not. Shall I put them in the freezer?

 Sparky: NO! You can’t refreeze defrosted raw meat! How many are there?

 Beloved: I though you couldn’t, that’s why they’re on the kitchen units. You won’t believe how cheap…

 Sparky: How many are there?

 Beloved: You always said chicken’s so versatile. You can eat it every day for a month and…

 Sparky: How. Many. Are. There?

 Beloved: It’s not that bad.

 Sparky: More than 2? More than 5? More than 10? More than 50? More than 100?

 Beloved: Don’t be silly, of course there’s not more than 50.

 Sparky: …you wouldn’t consider more than 10 to be silly?

 Beloved: 10 is not that silly…

 Sparky: Am I looking at a number between 10 and 50 chickens? Defrosted chickens? Are you telling me this? Really?

 Beloved: Noooooo… don’t be silly! Of course not! Of course there’s less than 10!

 Sparky: ok… so, how many.

 Beloved: Only 8. *sigh of relief*

 Sparky:…Eight whole chickens I can’t freeze?

 Beloved: Yes. Fifty! You don’t have a lot of faith in me!

 Sparky: Eight?!

 Beloved: yes, only eight. See you soon! *hangs up*

 Sparky: Wait! *dial tone*

 Well at least it isn’t 50.

 Looks like I need to cook a few dozen chicken recipes and freeze them. Why why why does he buy food? Why?!