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sparkindarknessSparky: *In grumpy morning mode* have briefcase, pen, wallet, phone, keys, shoes (yes, I do tend to forget). Ok ready *opens door* and...
Beloved: SNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Sparky: Snow. *gives Mother Nature a dirty look* You're totally making me regret reducing my carbon footprint, madam.
Beloved: snow snow snow snow snow snow snow SNOW! *starts making snow balls*
Cat: *looks outside* *gives world a most outraged glare* *goes back to bed*
Sparky: *closes door, possibly, just possibly ACCIDENTALLY locking Beloved out*
Sparky: *calls work* I'm afraid I can't come in today, I'm...
Secretary: Ooh ooh, wait, there's someone here who wants to hear this (In the background: Senior Partner! It's Sparky!)
*connecting phones are picked up*
Senior Partner 1: It's snowing, so I imagine you have been terribly afflicted by leprosy, scarlet fever or the ebola virus?
Sparky: I was going to go with smallpox
Senior Partner 2: I'm bored with diseases. I prefer animal maulings.
Sparky: Any preference?
Senior Partner 2: We haven't had marmoset's yet.
Sparky: Of course. Well, this morning I got up and to my horror found that my kitchen was infested with marmosets, no doubt planted by disgrunted mafia contacts. And they'd eaten all the coffee and were on a caffein fueled rampage. It was only with cunning and daring that I managed to subdue the squeaking hordes.
SP1: Do marmosets squeak?
Sparky: probably. These ones did. If marmosets don't, insert "mutated squeaking, caffein fueled marmoset hordes"
SP1: Of course. And you suffered severe injury
Sparky: I drove them off, but not before they ate my right leg. And left ear.
SP2: How tragic
SP1: Do you have court today?
Sparky: Of course not, it's Friday*****
SP1: Appointments?
Sparky: Still Friday
SP1: Why do any of us even come in on a Friday?
SP2: Because we pay them to, obviously. And they need to keep up on their solitaire skills.
Secretary: We have a champion solitaire team now!
Sparky: Solitaire team? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?
SP1: We will see you on Monday of course?
SParky: My leg should have grown back by then.
SP1: Good, no excuses for Monday, not even if the snow
Sparky what is Beloved dies from hypothermia?
SP1: I'm not answering that. You have a chest freezer. I would be liable
Sparky: See you on Monday then
SP2: Bring me a marmoset!
*****Friday is the BEST day for summary judgements. Because everyone wants to go home early. If you want the court to actually give a shit about your case, don't pick Friday. Court case on which your life depends < 3 day weekend. I'm just saying.
Beloved: SNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Sparky: Snow. *gives Mother Nature a dirty look* You're totally making me regret reducing my carbon footprint, madam.
Beloved: snow snow snow snow snow snow snow SNOW! *starts making snow balls*
Cat: *looks outside* *gives world a most outraged glare* *goes back to bed*
Sparky: *closes door, possibly, just possibly ACCIDENTALLY locking Beloved out*
Sparky: *calls work* I'm afraid I can't come in today, I'm...
Secretary: Ooh ooh, wait, there's someone here who wants to hear this (In the background: Senior Partner! It's Sparky!)
*connecting phones are picked up*
Senior Partner 1: It's snowing, so I imagine you have been terribly afflicted by leprosy, scarlet fever or the ebola virus?
Sparky: I was going to go with smallpox
Senior Partner 2: I'm bored with diseases. I prefer animal maulings.
Sparky: Any preference?
Senior Partner 2: We haven't had marmoset's yet.
Sparky: Of course. Well, this morning I got up and to my horror found that my kitchen was infested with marmosets, no doubt planted by disgrunted mafia contacts. And they'd eaten all the coffee and were on a caffein fueled rampage. It was only with cunning and daring that I managed to subdue the squeaking hordes.
SP1: Do marmosets squeak?
Sparky: probably. These ones did. If marmosets don't, insert "mutated squeaking, caffein fueled marmoset hordes"
SP1: Of course. And you suffered severe injury
Sparky: I drove them off, but not before they ate my right leg. And left ear.
SP2: How tragic
SP1: Do you have court today?
Sparky: Of course not, it's Friday*****
SP1: Appointments?
Sparky: Still Friday
SP1: Why do any of us even come in on a Friday?
SP2: Because we pay them to, obviously. And they need to keep up on their solitaire skills.
Secretary: We have a champion solitaire team now!
Sparky: Solitaire team? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?
SP1: We will see you on Monday of course?
SParky: My leg should have grown back by then.
SP1: Good, no excuses for Monday, not even if the snow
Sparky what is Beloved dies from hypothermia?
SP1: I'm not answering that. You have a chest freezer. I would be liable
Sparky: See you on Monday then
SP2: Bring me a marmoset!
*****Friday is the BEST day for summary judgements. Because everyone wants to go home early. If you want the court to actually give a shit about your case, don't pick Friday. Court case on which your life depends < 3 day weekend. I'm just saying.