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sparkindarknessHowever, random fishing slapping, while infinitely satisfying, is not especially productive.
Which pretty much sums up what I feel about the game of Oppression Olympics and the unpleasant sniping between oppressed groups at each other.
After the stupid comments made by some massive idiots after the proposition 8 fiasco basically blaming black people (fanned and inflamed by right wingers who just loved it so much) many sensible people turned round and said “that’s racist bullshit, you’re talking through your arse cheeks.” Which was right and proper.
And some people decided that this was indicative of racism in the gay community and the gay community’s leaders (whoever THEY are) and one blogger even decided to quote a piece that LAMBLASTED gay groups for giving black people a “stunning pass” on opposing gay marriage. It was written by Andrew Breitbart - STRAIGHT right winger and contributor to the Drudge Report and guest-host of Michael Savage’s Savage Nation. Yet it was held up as some kind of example of the gay community’s racism? This makes sense how?
And then on the flip side we have a blogger posting about Marion Barry. Marion Barry is a councilman for Washington DC and the only one who voted against recognising same-sex marriages from other states - his reasons being that most of his constituents are black and he says black people just won’t accept gay marriage, are adamant about that and “all hell would break loose” and it would cause “a civil war.” The blogger spoke about homophobia in the black community, and the social conservatism of blacks etc etc.
The sad thing is I am a regular reader of both bloggers and I agree with 99.999999999% of everything they write. But the way they both wrote about this is making me despair.
Yes, when we see racism we should stand up, shout out and scream bullshit and fiercely counter it.
Yes, when we see homophobia we should stand up, shout our, and scream bullshit and fiercely counter it.
Counter the racism and the homophobia - definitely. I’ll back you 100% on that. But was it NECESSARY for either blogger here to take a swipe at the gay or black communities while they did it? While countering the racist assumptions made after proposition 8, was it necessary or helpful to lash out at the gay community? When challenging Marion Barry’s homophobia, was it necessary or helpful to make sweeping assumptions about the black community?
Because I really don’t see it as helpful. In fact, I think it’s beginning to stink because it‘s also a pattern that I‘m seeing over and over that it‘s beginning to feel choreographed.
One oppressed group lashes out at another oppressed group and then people lash back
Segue into that age old game of Oppression Olympics (where each side tries to play the “the shit I put up with is worse than the shit you put up with!” like there’s some kind of medal or gold star for having extra awful bigots making your life hell)
Then each side argues to show how special THEIR oppression is. During this argument both sides will get worked up and probably show their cluelessness and privilege and say things that are Really Fucking Stupid (tm) (good examples I’ve seen: comparing homophobia and Jim Crow laws. Telling gay people homophobia is bad because you can just STOP being gay. Saying homophobia isn’t so bad because you can PASS as straight)
The fight is now ON. One side will produce person who is part of both groups who says that THIS oppression is worse. The other side will produce another person who is part of both groups who say THAT oppression is even worser!
Even very reasonable people who are ALLIES and firm and reliable crusaders against all forms of prejudice are now so damned pissed that they are saying the Really Fucking Stupid (tm) crap.
The bigots are all happier than Rush Limbaugh in a truck of oxycontin because we’re fighting each other rather than standing together fighting for justice, equality, respect and safety for all.
In other words - This shit has to stop. Like, yesterday. And in the desperate interest to try and reduce the damage (and because I like the sound of my own voice) here’s a few things I think would help us all a whole lot.
I made a small list here http://sparkindarkness.livejournal.com/221516.html but to expand on it:
1) If you are criticising what a person or group of people are saying/doing try try TRY not to make it about the marginalised group they are part of. Call out the gay guy on his racism. Argue with the woman about her antisemitism. Dispute with the black guy about his homophobia. But make it about what THEY have said/done - do NOT try to make it a big cultural issue about the group they are a part of. This applies to ideas and opinions too
2) Don’t treat anyone as a spokesperson for their group - nor is anyone in their group responsible for what one idiot says. I am not going to apologise for Perez Hilton any more than all women should apologise for Carrie Prejean
3) No-one is an oracle. Just because you’ve found Dora, the differently abled, black, jewish, poor, transgendered lesbian doesn’t mean you have the ultimate authority on what prejudice is worse and why. There’ll always be another who disagrees - different life experiences mean different prejudices have hit different
4) Never ever ever ever EVER play the Oppression Olympics. NEVER try to argue who is the most oppressed. Ever. It’s dumb. It’s not constructive. It doesn’t help. Oppression, discrimination and prejudice is plain WRONG and it doesn’t MATTER who deals with the stinkiest shit. Dora’s already got the gold, silver AND bronze medals there so stop competing already.
5) If you ARE going to make comparisons between oppressions, only do so if you HAVE to and only do so with the utmost respect and sensitivity. Recognise that some things are off limits. To be safest, stick to GENERALITIES rather than specific examples. So, comparing how black jokes and gay jokes are both offensive may be useful and helpful. Comparing various modern issues of prejudice to apartheid? Much much less so.
6) Try to recognise what words and phrases will push all the wrong buttons and avoid them (for me I grit my teeth every time I read “sexual preference” and “how people choose to love.” It’s not a freaking CHOICE can we get over that already. If you step on such a button back off, apologise and learn. Do not try to correct them (seriously, you know that shit is wrong).
7) Remember that we should know better. No, really, we should. Sure we’re clueless and all have our own privileges - but there’s less excuse for us than those who don’t belong to a marginalised group. People will hold you to a higher standard - and rightly so.
Above all, we have to remember that we’re on the same side and there’s definitely work still to be done.
Which pretty much sums up what I feel about the game of Oppression Olympics and the unpleasant sniping between oppressed groups at each other.
After the stupid comments made by some massive idiots after the proposition 8 fiasco basically blaming black people (fanned and inflamed by right wingers who just loved it so much) many sensible people turned round and said “that’s racist bullshit, you’re talking through your arse cheeks.” Which was right and proper.
And some people decided that this was indicative of racism in the gay community and the gay community’s leaders (whoever THEY are) and one blogger even decided to quote a piece that LAMBLASTED gay groups for giving black people a “stunning pass” on opposing gay marriage. It was written by Andrew Breitbart - STRAIGHT right winger and contributor to the Drudge Report and guest-host of Michael Savage’s Savage Nation. Yet it was held up as some kind of example of the gay community’s racism? This makes sense how?
And then on the flip side we have a blogger posting about Marion Barry. Marion Barry is a councilman for Washington DC and the only one who voted against recognising same-sex marriages from other states - his reasons being that most of his constituents are black and he says black people just won’t accept gay marriage, are adamant about that and “all hell would break loose” and it would cause “a civil war.” The blogger spoke about homophobia in the black community, and the social conservatism of blacks etc etc.
The sad thing is I am a regular reader of both bloggers and I agree with 99.999999999% of everything they write. But the way they both wrote about this is making me despair.
Yes, when we see racism we should stand up, shout out and scream bullshit and fiercely counter it.
Yes, when we see homophobia we should stand up, shout our, and scream bullshit and fiercely counter it.
Counter the racism and the homophobia - definitely. I’ll back you 100% on that. But was it NECESSARY for either blogger here to take a swipe at the gay or black communities while they did it? While countering the racist assumptions made after proposition 8, was it necessary or helpful to lash out at the gay community? When challenging Marion Barry’s homophobia, was it necessary or helpful to make sweeping assumptions about the black community?
Because I really don’t see it as helpful. In fact, I think it’s beginning to stink because it‘s also a pattern that I‘m seeing over and over that it‘s beginning to feel choreographed.
One oppressed group lashes out at another oppressed group and then people lash back
Segue into that age old game of Oppression Olympics (where each side tries to play the “the shit I put up with is worse than the shit you put up with!” like there’s some kind of medal or gold star for having extra awful bigots making your life hell)
Then each side argues to show how special THEIR oppression is. During this argument both sides will get worked up and probably show their cluelessness and privilege and say things that are Really Fucking Stupid (tm) (good examples I’ve seen: comparing homophobia and Jim Crow laws. Telling gay people homophobia is bad because you can just STOP being gay. Saying homophobia isn’t so bad because you can PASS as straight)
The fight is now ON. One side will produce person who is part of both groups who says that THIS oppression is worse. The other side will produce another person who is part of both groups who say THAT oppression is even worser!
Even very reasonable people who are ALLIES and firm and reliable crusaders against all forms of prejudice are now so damned pissed that they are saying the Really Fucking Stupid (tm) crap.
The bigots are all happier than Rush Limbaugh in a truck of oxycontin because we’re fighting each other rather than standing together fighting for justice, equality, respect and safety for all.
In other words - This shit has to stop. Like, yesterday. And in the desperate interest to try and reduce the damage (and because I like the sound of my own voice) here’s a few things I think would help us all a whole lot.
I made a small list here http://sparkindarkness.livejournal.com/221516.html but to expand on it:
1) If you are criticising what a person or group of people are saying/doing try try TRY not to make it about the marginalised group they are part of. Call out the gay guy on his racism. Argue with the woman about her antisemitism. Dispute with the black guy about his homophobia. But make it about what THEY have said/done - do NOT try to make it a big cultural issue about the group they are a part of. This applies to ideas and opinions too
2) Don’t treat anyone as a spokesperson for their group - nor is anyone in their group responsible for what one idiot says. I am not going to apologise for Perez Hilton any more than all women should apologise for Carrie Prejean
3) No-one is an oracle. Just because you’ve found Dora, the differently abled, black, jewish, poor, transgendered lesbian doesn’t mean you have the ultimate authority on what prejudice is worse and why. There’ll always be another who disagrees - different life experiences mean different prejudices have hit different
4) Never ever ever ever EVER play the Oppression Olympics. NEVER try to argue who is the most oppressed. Ever. It’s dumb. It’s not constructive. It doesn’t help. Oppression, discrimination and prejudice is plain WRONG and it doesn’t MATTER who deals with the stinkiest shit. Dora’s already got the gold, silver AND bronze medals there so stop competing already.
5) If you ARE going to make comparisons between oppressions, only do so if you HAVE to and only do so with the utmost respect and sensitivity. Recognise that some things are off limits. To be safest, stick to GENERALITIES rather than specific examples. So, comparing how black jokes and gay jokes are both offensive may be useful and helpful. Comparing various modern issues of prejudice to apartheid? Much much less so.
6) Try to recognise what words and phrases will push all the wrong buttons and avoid them (for me I grit my teeth every time I read “sexual preference” and “how people choose to love.” It’s not a freaking CHOICE can we get over that already. If you step on such a button back off, apologise and learn. Do not try to correct them (seriously, you know that shit is wrong).
7) Remember that we should know better. No, really, we should. Sure we’re clueless and all have our own privileges - but there’s less excuse for us than those who don’t belong to a marginalised group. People will hold you to a higher standard - and rightly so.
Above all, we have to remember that we’re on the same side and there’s definitely work still to be done.