A resolve... I think/hope
Apr. 7th, 2009 09:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparkindarknessOk, now my router is now in once piece because my excellent technical skills fixed it...
....... I’ve been informed that my throwing the router at a wall didn’t actually fix it, but did convince Beloved that it no longer could be fixed so he bought a new one. which, y’know, I think KINDA counts as fixing it.
Any way, I finally met up with boss man and... expressed my heartfelt concerns.
Well it wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awful.
On the plus side he apologised and never realised I would be so offended.
On the minus side he can’t quite see why I am SO offended. I mean, he gets why I’m offended but doesn’t get why it’s such a big deal. I mean he’s sorry that I’m upset, he’s UPSET that he hurt me and apologises unreservedly for that - but he just doesn’t quite get why it was so bad. I mean, he knows it was so bad - because I (and others) have told him it is. But he can’t follow it through himself. So we had a long and rather awkward conversation because, y’know I REALLY don’t want to have a politics of homosexuality and homophobia with him. Really.
He said he thought me leaving the picture in my drawer would protect me from the bigoted shit that I shouldn’t have to put up. Which, I can see his point but what he didn’t get was that HAVING to hide is one of the most pervasive and destructive kinds of bigoted shit we do have to deal with. Then we had a nice brambly and hella awkward about the politics of shame and how being open and out were supposed ton be shamefully deviant things which is why we have gay PRIDE in the first place etc. There was more awkwardness.
Of course it’s extra hella awkward because I feel I’ve had to bring and brought a whole shed load of personal shit to work. It’s like dumping your underwear drawer on the boss’ desk and asking him to sift through it. I feel I’ve opened my life a bit further to my colleagues than I really wanted to, even if it was effective.
I still don’t think he entirely gets the strength of my reaction, but he gets that my reaction is that strong and that is reason enough for him to apologise and not pull shit like that. This is fair enough I think.
On a scale ranging from “perfect” to “that’s it, everyone dies!” we’re contentedly positioned on a “acceptable” level and may be able to go forwards and pretend it didn’t happen. But with lashings of awkwardness. Yay.
....... I’ve been informed that my throwing the router at a wall didn’t actually fix it, but did convince Beloved that it no longer could be fixed so he bought a new one. which, y’know, I think KINDA counts as fixing it.
Any way, I finally met up with boss man and... expressed my heartfelt concerns.
Well it wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awful.
On the plus side he apologised and never realised I would be so offended.
On the minus side he can’t quite see why I am SO offended. I mean, he gets why I’m offended but doesn’t get why it’s such a big deal. I mean he’s sorry that I’m upset, he’s UPSET that he hurt me and apologises unreservedly for that - but he just doesn’t quite get why it was so bad. I mean, he knows it was so bad - because I (and others) have told him it is. But he can’t follow it through himself. So we had a long and rather awkward conversation because, y’know I REALLY don’t want to have a politics of homosexuality and homophobia with him. Really.
He said he thought me leaving the picture in my drawer would protect me from the bigoted shit that I shouldn’t have to put up. Which, I can see his point but what he didn’t get was that HAVING to hide is one of the most pervasive and destructive kinds of bigoted shit we do have to deal with. Then we had a nice brambly and hella awkward about the politics of shame and how being open and out were supposed ton be shamefully deviant things which is why we have gay PRIDE in the first place etc. There was more awkwardness.
Of course it’s extra hella awkward because I feel I’ve had to bring and brought a whole shed load of personal shit to work. It’s like dumping your underwear drawer on the boss’ desk and asking him to sift through it. I feel I’ve opened my life a bit further to my colleagues than I really wanted to, even if it was effective.
I still don’t think he entirely gets the strength of my reaction, but he gets that my reaction is that strong and that is reason enough for him to apologise and not pull shit like that. This is fair enough I think.
On a scale ranging from “perfect” to “that’s it, everyone dies!” we’re contentedly positioned on a “acceptable” level and may be able to go forwards and pretend it didn’t happen. But with lashings of awkwardness. Yay.