Adracanta - Introduction: Creation Myth
Mar. 27th, 2009 01:42 pmI can't quite decide if the repetitive nature of this is in keeping with the ancient creation myth telling. Or if it's just boring and annoying
It may be both.
The Birth of the Dragon Lines
The Earthmother and Skyfather looked upon the world they had created and were contented by its wonder, for truly they had created perfection.
But they feared, for they that their perfect world was held in delicate balance and even that other hands other than their own had gone into its creation.
They came together to create a ruler and guardian for their world and the first Dragon was born, his scales gleaming gold in the Noonday Sun. From his Father he was gifted with true spirit that he would know and command all that lived on the earth. From his Mother he was gifted with the powers of Light that he would shine with the glory of kingship.
The Golden Dragon descended to earth and was charged to rule with wisdom and courage - judging fairly, guiding wisely, protecting fiercely, nurturing lovingly and punishing firmly. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation had a ruler to lead it.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed by the sound of weeping. They looked down upon the world and saw the First Dragon weeping piteously.
“Greatest of our Children, why do you cry?” cried the Earthmother
“I weep for I have failed you, Mother,” said the Dragon, cowering in shame. “I try to lead with wisdom, but the world is too big and I do not have the time to learn all its secrets. I am too ignorant to rule. I have failed.”
The Skyfather and Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. The lands suffered from ignorance and poor decisions. The First Dragon could not learn and rule at the same time, and without learning he could not rule wisely.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us.” Said the Skyfather. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Second Dragon. Her scales shone silver under the Full Moon’s light. From her Father she gained the gift of true sight, that nothing could hide from her. From her Mother she was gifted with the powers of Earth, so he knowledge could be recorded on the very bones of the mountains.
The Silver Dragon descended to earth and was charged to study and learn and to advise her elder brother that he may benefit from her knowledge. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be guided knowledgably.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed by a gusting sigh. They looked down and saw the First Dragon laying weary and forlorn.
“Greatest of our Children, why does your heart sink?” asked the Skyfather.
“My heart sinks for I have failed you, Father,” said the Dragon, hiding in shame. “Great injustices rock the land and I do not have the time to judge them all fairly and to rule as well. My rule is unjust. I have failed.”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. Injustice and unfairness ruled across the land. The First Dragon could not be judge and ruler at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Earthmother. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Third Dragon. His scales gleamed Bronze in the Morning Light. From his Father he gained the gift of true hearing, that none could lie to him or hide their intent. From his Mother he gained the gift of the Winds that he could travel wherever injustice lurked.
The Bronze Dragon descended to earth and was charged to seek our truth and decide honestly and advise his elder brother that his reign would be a just one. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be judged fairly.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed by a challenging roar. They looked down and saw the First Dragon bellowing in fury.
“Greatest of our Children, why do you rage?” asked the Earthmother.
“I rage because I have failed you, Mother,” said the Dragon, lowering his head in shame. “Creatures of evil and corruption stalk the land in great number. I hunt them and fight them with my Sister and my Brother, but I have no time to wage war and rule as well. The earth is not protected. I have failed.”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. Legions of monsters stalked the land and the world lay neglected while the Dragons made war. The First Dragon could not fight and rule at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Skyfather. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Fourth Dragon. Her scales blazed Red under the Setting Son. From her Father she gained the gift of true scent, that she could smell evil however it hid. From her Mother she gained the gift of Fire that she could rain flames upon the world’s enemies.
The Red Dragon descended to earth and was charged to seek out evil and make war as directed so her elder brother’s reign would be a safe one. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be protected fiercely
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed the wail of grief. They looked down and saw the First Dragon grieving tragically.
“Greatest of our Children, why do you grieve?” asked the Skyfather.
“I grieve because I have failed you, Father,” said the Dragon, turning his face in shame. “The holy places lie vacant and neglected and the land is despoiled. I do not have the time to rule and honour them nor do I have the skill to restore and heal them. The earth is not nurtured. I have failed”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. The land was scarred from past battles and marred by the forces of evil. Holy glens and sacred glades were despoiled. The First Dragon could not succour the land and rule at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Earthmother. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Fifth Dragon. His scales shimmered Green under the Clouded Sun shrouded by rich green growth. From his Father he gained the gift of true taste, that he could sense impurity and rot. From his Mother he gained the gift of Water that he could wash away corruption and Blight.
The Green Dragon descended to earth and was charged to honour, preserve and heal the holy places and the free wilds, that his elder brother’s realm would be cleansed. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be nurtured lovingly.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed the growl of frustration. They looked down and saw the First Dragon hissing angrily.
“Greatest of our Children, what angers you so?” asked the Earthmother
“I am angry because I have failed you, Mother,” said the Dragon, lowering his eyes in shame. “The forces of evil plot craftily in the shadows. They do know wrong for my brother to judge and their secrets are too strange for my Sister to know. Their plans are long and complicated and hard for my Sister to hunt and destroy. I cannot match their cunning or their intrigue and rule. I have failed you.”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. Forces of evil forged plots that took decades to come to fruition, each layers in lies and deceit and all in tangled, convoluted webs that were impossible to follow but lead to deadly results. The First Dragon could not match such cunning and rule at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Skyfather. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Sixth Dragon. Her scales glistened Black under the Moonless Sky. From her Father she gained the gift of true kenning, that she could follow the convoluted plots of evil in the realms of spirit and the future. From her Mother she gained the gift of Darkness that her enemies had nowhere to hide from her wrath.
The Black Dragon descended to earth and was charged to unravel, reveal and thwart the plans of evil, that such evil would never be safe in her elder brother’s domain. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, for evil in their creation would be punished firmly.
It may be both.
The Birth of the Dragon Lines
The Earthmother and Skyfather looked upon the world they had created and were contented by its wonder, for truly they had created perfection.
But they feared, for they that their perfect world was held in delicate balance and even that other hands other than their own had gone into its creation.
They came together to create a ruler and guardian for their world and the first Dragon was born, his scales gleaming gold in the Noonday Sun. From his Father he was gifted with true spirit that he would know and command all that lived on the earth. From his Mother he was gifted with the powers of Light that he would shine with the glory of kingship.
The Golden Dragon descended to earth and was charged to rule with wisdom and courage - judging fairly, guiding wisely, protecting fiercely, nurturing lovingly and punishing firmly. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation had a ruler to lead it.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed by the sound of weeping. They looked down upon the world and saw the First Dragon weeping piteously.
“Greatest of our Children, why do you cry?” cried the Earthmother
“I weep for I have failed you, Mother,” said the Dragon, cowering in shame. “I try to lead with wisdom, but the world is too big and I do not have the time to learn all its secrets. I am too ignorant to rule. I have failed.”
The Skyfather and Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. The lands suffered from ignorance and poor decisions. The First Dragon could not learn and rule at the same time, and without learning he could not rule wisely.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us.” Said the Skyfather. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Second Dragon. Her scales shone silver under the Full Moon’s light. From her Father she gained the gift of true sight, that nothing could hide from her. From her Mother she was gifted with the powers of Earth, so he knowledge could be recorded on the very bones of the mountains.
The Silver Dragon descended to earth and was charged to study and learn and to advise her elder brother that he may benefit from her knowledge. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be guided knowledgably.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed by a gusting sigh. They looked down and saw the First Dragon laying weary and forlorn.
“Greatest of our Children, why does your heart sink?” asked the Skyfather.
“My heart sinks for I have failed you, Father,” said the Dragon, hiding in shame. “Great injustices rock the land and I do not have the time to judge them all fairly and to rule as well. My rule is unjust. I have failed.”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. Injustice and unfairness ruled across the land. The First Dragon could not be judge and ruler at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Earthmother. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Third Dragon. His scales gleamed Bronze in the Morning Light. From his Father he gained the gift of true hearing, that none could lie to him or hide their intent. From his Mother he gained the gift of the Winds that he could travel wherever injustice lurked.
The Bronze Dragon descended to earth and was charged to seek our truth and decide honestly and advise his elder brother that his reign would be a just one. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be judged fairly.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed by a challenging roar. They looked down and saw the First Dragon bellowing in fury.
“Greatest of our Children, why do you rage?” asked the Earthmother.
“I rage because I have failed you, Mother,” said the Dragon, lowering his head in shame. “Creatures of evil and corruption stalk the land in great number. I hunt them and fight them with my Sister and my Brother, but I have no time to wage war and rule as well. The earth is not protected. I have failed.”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. Legions of monsters stalked the land and the world lay neglected while the Dragons made war. The First Dragon could not fight and rule at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Skyfather. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Fourth Dragon. Her scales blazed Red under the Setting Son. From her Father she gained the gift of true scent, that she could smell evil however it hid. From her Mother she gained the gift of Fire that she could rain flames upon the world’s enemies.
The Red Dragon descended to earth and was charged to seek out evil and make war as directed so her elder brother’s reign would be a safe one. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be protected fiercely
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed the wail of grief. They looked down and saw the First Dragon grieving tragically.
“Greatest of our Children, why do you grieve?” asked the Skyfather.
“I grieve because I have failed you, Father,” said the Dragon, turning his face in shame. “The holy places lie vacant and neglected and the land is despoiled. I do not have the time to rule and honour them nor do I have the skill to restore and heal them. The earth is not nurtured. I have failed”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. The land was scarred from past battles and marred by the forces of evil. Holy glens and sacred glades were despoiled. The First Dragon could not succour the land and rule at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Earthmother. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Fifth Dragon. His scales shimmered Green under the Clouded Sun shrouded by rich green growth. From his Father he gained the gift of true taste, that he could sense impurity and rot. From his Mother he gained the gift of Water that he could wash away corruption and Blight.
The Green Dragon descended to earth and was charged to honour, preserve and heal the holy places and the free wilds, that his elder brother’s realm would be cleansed. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, their creation would be nurtured lovingly.
Time passed and the Earthmother and Skyfather were disturbed the growl of frustration. They looked down and saw the First Dragon hissing angrily.
“Greatest of our Children, what angers you so?” asked the Earthmother
“I am angry because I have failed you, Mother,” said the Dragon, lowering his eyes in shame. “The forces of evil plot craftily in the shadows. They do know wrong for my brother to judge and their secrets are too strange for my Sister to know. Their plans are long and complicated and hard for my Sister to hunt and destroy. I cannot match their cunning or their intrigue and rule. I have failed you.”
The Skyfather and the Earthmother looked upon the world and saw that the First Dragon was correct. Forces of evil forged plots that took decades to come to fruition, each layers in lies and deceit and all in tangled, convoluted webs that were impossible to follow but lead to deadly results. The First Dragon could not match such cunning and rule at the same time.
“Greatest of our Children, you have not failed us,” said the Skyfather. “It is us who did not give you the aid you needed.”
And so the Earthmother and the Skyfather came together to create the Sixth Dragon. Her scales glistened Black under the Moonless Sky. From her Father she gained the gift of true kenning, that she could follow the convoluted plots of evil in the realms of spirit and the future. From her Mother she gained the gift of Darkness that her enemies had nowhere to hide from her wrath.
The Black Dragon descended to earth and was charged to unravel, reveal and thwart the plans of evil, that such evil would never be safe in her elder brother’s domain. The Earthmother and Skyfather looked down and were pleased, for evil in their creation would be punished firmly.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-27 09:41 pm (UTC)At the beginning could use a bit more detail about why the skyfather and the earth mother chose to make their guardians in the form of a dragon. Was it because the mother wanted a child that would walk her earth, and the father wanted something that could fly in his skies? Can the dragons actually fly? Do they each breathe fire? or just certain ones?
The narration of failures does get a bit repetitive, but can be tweaked to be a little more different each time. I wonder about the other dragons? Do they ever speak to the Earth Mother and Skyfather? or just the first born? Or are they there too and the first born just does the talking while they all feel ashamed for failure. I do like how the firstborn expresses his shame differently each time, there just needs to be a little more development to each individual situation to keep it fresh so the reader isn't just drawn to skip reading to what the next dragon will look like.
Maybe also a few more sentences on how each dragon may act differently to the others. It also needs an ending, it just kinda stops abruptly there. I wiggle for more descripty and a sense of closure! Good stuff!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-28 01:21 am (UTC)Agreed, but I’m torn. I don’t want this to be a story so much as a fireside tale, a creation myth etc. I don’t want it to be a complete account or a narrative. I want it to be a myth with a sense of ritual and vagueness about it. But it needs more than it has
At the beginning could use a bit more detail about why the skyfather and the earth mother chose to make their guardians in the form of a dragon. Was it because the mother wanted a child that would walk her earth, and the father wanted something that could fly in his skies? Can the dragons actually fly? Do they each breathe fire? or just certain ones?
That would be a nice addition. I’ll have to look at that at the actual design of the first dragon.
All dragons can fly (with physical winds) but Bronze dragons, with the gift of Wind are the most adept. Only Red dragons with the Gift of Fire can breathe fire. All other dragons have the gift of their element and SOME part (but by all means not all) can manifest through breath (A Bronze’s breath is just air - at very very high volicty, for example. A Green’s breath cleanses etc).
The narration of failures does get a bit repetitive, but can be tweaked to be a little more different each time.
I wanted a repetitive theme but it went over the top - more individual detail is needed in each case. I do want each to begin with the Gold lamenting because he has failed (the emphasis is that failing the Skyfather and Earthmother is utterly shameful)
I wonder about the other dragons? Do they ever speak to the Earth Mother and Skyfather? or just the first born?
While the others’ are around and they can, on some level, feel the presence, attention and to a degree the intent of the Earthmother and the Skyfather, and the deities CAN communicate directly, in the days of creation most communication was with the Gold - because that was his job. Besides, communication with the hands-off deities was relatively rare.
Or are they there too and the first born just does the talking while they all feel ashamed for failure.
Ah but they did not fail. They each fulfilled their duty - if armies are running back and forth unchecked it’s no failure of the Silver, guardian of knowledge, for example. In fact, expecting her to get involved could lead to her failing her primary duty
I do like how the firstborn expresses his shame differently each time, there just needs to be a little more development to each individual situation to keep it fresh so the reader isn't just drawn to skip reading to what the next dragon will look like.
Aye I’ve realised this on re-read and fact checking. I re-read but I’m just mentally check listing “time of day, colour, gift, sense, right NEXXXT” which isn’t idea.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-28 01:29 am (UTC)Now that I've gotten to read the other myths, the part about how the other dragons fail their duties makes more sense. *nods* So I suppose I was jumping the gun with those questions.
I look forward to seeing how this beginning will evolve. Have you tried reading this aloud? (and alone so as there will be no teasing) just to see what the pacing is like? I find that helps when trying to write a folktale-ish story. If you can't Read it like a fireside story, then it isn't one yet.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-28 01:40 am (UTC)That's a good point. All of this is due an edit (I've also got some really scrappy notes on the three people I am considering posting but they need an uber rewrite)
Now they're up and I can start fine tooth combing them :)