Just another day at the office...

[sparkindarkness]

Sitting there merrily sticking pins in the little dollies of some of my more special clients (mental note: must stop this before Mad Secretary starts trying to steal their hair) when in walks a new client - Ms G.

Ms G has a problem. She needs to get rid of something very important. Curious I ask what.

"Why, this." She replies and reaches into her handbag and puts a handgun on my desk.

A gun. On my desk.

At this point I can be found clinging to the light fixtures. I don't do guns. I am blissfully happy that Britain's gun laws mean that even though I am a defence lawyer in one of Britain's most crime plagues cities I So very very rarely come into contact with firearms.

And now there's a GUN ON MY DESK!!!

"I don't think it's loaded, but I'm not sure.." she said and STARTS FIDDLING WITH IT!

There's a possibly loaded gun on my desk!

AND a clueless moron is POKING this POSSIBLY LOADED GUN! Which is ON MY DESK!



Suddenly all my crazy clients look so much better. At least this don't drop freaking FIREARMS on my desk!





And to add: HEY, senior partners? Do we have NO security here at all?! (Well no, we don't. I suppose people don't regularly bring FIREARMS TO MY OFFICE!!!! but still, maybe we could get some...)

Comments

[seryan.livejournal.com]

Good lord. I don't know how to get rid of a firearm either, but I don't think I'd bring it with me when I asked!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

A lawyer is the right person to ask - but dropping a gun on my DESK!!! is just nooooo

[oxfordgirl.livejournal.com]

EXCUSE ME FUCK WHAT?!

I had to check it wasn't Rabbithole day when I read this...!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Kind of my reaction when the thing clunked on my desk. One of those "blinku" I'm sorry someone turned the reality off in here, I thought you just put a GUN on my DESK

[moondancerdrake.livejournal.com]

Okay, I got nothing for this. You handled it much better than I would've. I totally would've wigged out if someone brought me some gun they wanted to get rid of. That is a new level of crazy.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I think I kinda did :)

Let's just say professional calm was rather lacking. Because there was a gun. On my desk. Desk and gun. No. Should not be!

[speaks.livejournal.com]

Thats actually a law school hypothetical here in the US.

We use Cocaine rather than a gun, but then we do love our guns here in the states.

"What do you do when a client comes and drops a brick of cocaine on your desk and says 'I need to get rid of this.'"

[lilisonna.livejournal.com]

What's the right answer?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Naturally :) occasionally your clients will have illegal products that they need disposal of which have come into their possesion most unfortunately and due to absolutely no fault of their own.

I could have coped with the drugs better. (And have).

But it was a gun. On my desk. A gun. Does not computer, freak out commences!

the question i have is

[makarov.livejournal.com]

was it a revolver or a semi-auto ?

Re: the question i have is

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It was a GUN! And it was ON MY DESK. Other identification at the time was eclipsed by it's GUNNISHNESS and presence on my DESK where guns SHOULD NOT BE.

However, I think it was an auto since it didn't have a drum.

[dontkickmycane.livejournal.com]

At least you're here to tell us about it. I'm with you, though, up around the lighting fixtures. Security would be good...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It was either on the light fixtures or under the desk. And under the desk lacks dignity

[wyrdrune.livejournal.com]

Any idea what make or model? (Just nosey :-)

Personally, after I'd looked at (without touching it myself) and told the client not to touch it, I'd have phoned the police...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

It wasn't a revolver because it didn't have a drum. And there endeth my gun knowledge. It was a gun. And it was on my desk. Gun on desk. All ID needed - gun on desk!!!

I did get the nice police people to take said firearm OFF my DESK which looks so much better without weapons. Yes yes it does

[hippieflowergal.livejournal.com]

Holey crap! I would have freaked out!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I did! :) I am not even REMOTELY blase about firearms. Guns freak me majorly. And a gun? on my DESK! *freak freak freak*

[thisdaydreamer.livejournal.com]

Eep. I have to wonder why she needed to get rid of it...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

She was unfortunate enough to have some stuff from her ex partner lying around and after several months of it lying there she decided to go through it. And there was a gun there

Which she decided to PUT ON MY DESK!!!

[blackironcrown.livejournal.com]

Interesting. What did you do with it?

[makarov.livejournal.com]

he should have shipped it to this guy in Wi i know

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

see, this is why you became a lawyer. For the LOlZ :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I knew there was a reason!

[jocelyncs.livejournal.com]

Wow! I live in gun central and that's never happened to me! (Surprisingly.)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Yet. The word here is YET

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Okay, dude? You've just surpassed "fear over guns" firmly into "fear of guns", and that's a bad thing.

In the future: Take the fucking thing AWAY from the client, and either discard the cylinder (revolver) or pull the clip and work the action (non-revolver), or neither if you can't figure out what's going on with the thing[1], before depositing it firmly in a LOCKED DRAWER until the LOVELY FRIENDLY POLICE OFFICERS arrive, who you called because a client dropped a fucking gun on your fucking desk.

[1]: And, if so, LEARN. Fucking handguns are fucking simple. Taking the bullets out, to the point where you're confident that it can't fire, should be simple, especially given that your next reaction is always going to be to lock the thing in a box until the cops come to collect it.

[cazmanian-minx.livejournal.com]

And, if so, LEARN. Fucking handguns are fucking simple.

Learn where? Handguns are almost completely illegal in the UK, so much so that our Olympic pistol shooting team has to train outside the country! They're having to put a special dispensation through Parliament to hold the event in 2012.

[cazmanian-minx.livejournal.com]

Good grief. My mother did something similar actually (though not in a crazy lady kind of way, obviously...) - after Dad died she found a couple of guns at the bottom of his tennis sweater drawer that she knew definitely weren't his shotguns (which were licensed and locked up correctly). So her brother asked a retired policeman friend of his to go round and take a look and this guy turned up, obviously having been told something along the lines of 'It sounds like she's found an air rifle and freaked out, could you go round and reassure her?'

Mum opened up the drawer and the ex-policeman went white to the roots of his hair - semi-automatic machine guns, probably brought back from his national service stint, fighting in the Mau Mau rebellion in Kenya! They got hastily donated to the Royal Gloucesters Museum!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I'd have hit the roof! You'd have found me running through the streets having the screaming meemies "machines guns in my house! MACHINES GUNS!!"